I learned some stuff about hippos today

[RealSNR]

One of my friends is working in Tanzania currently, and for part of his vacation he went on safari. Some of the pictures he brought back are hella cool. He was telling me that the best pictures he took by far are the ones of the hippos, simply because he was lucky and had a cab driver who wasn't afraid to get close to see them. I didn't understand what he meant, but he explained to me that of all human deaths by animals, hippos are the most dangerous. They kill far more people than any other animal. They will eat anything that accidentally wanders onto their territory. Lions, gazelles, birds, humans... ****ing crocodiles sometimes.

The other reason why the hippo picture was so impressive was because the stench of these animals is un****ingbearable. He was saying that these are some of the most disgusting mammalian creatures in existence. The hippos he encountered were all hanging out in their own pool. That's kind of where they spend all of their time. ALL of their time. They shit in there, too. They spend almost all of their time bathing in their own shit. Literally, the pool/pond is low-oxygen. Turbid. It doesn't drain, either, so they just shit in it day in and day out. Only a few species of fish can survive in there.

I'm posting his side of the story from our AIM chat log. Paraphrasing his words probably isn't going to be as effective:


(4:01:00 PM) and i saw one of them do it
(4:01:11 PM) it stood up out of the water and let out this continuous blast
(4:01:21 PM) but then it also spun its fat little tail
(4:01:22 PM) like a propeller
(4:01:25 PM) so shit literally
(4:01:27 PM) hit the fan
(4:01:28 PM) and went every which way
(4:01:37 PM) onto the heads of its fellow hippos
(4:01:42 PM) then it sat down

I'm letting you all know this incase you ever find yourselves in an area of the world where hippos live in the wild. Be warned by the strong stench of stale watery shit. If you are not naturally deterred and foolishly continue investigating, keep your eyes peeled for hippos. For the love of God, watch out. Because they are assholes, and will eat anything and everything. So unless you want to suffer the shittiest fate imaginable, where you get shit on, ripped to shreds, eaten, and pooped out into a pond of year-old hippo diarrhea, WATCH YOURSELF. Beware of hippos.

[Ceej]

Originally Posted by blaise

Hippos will kill other hippos, too. I've seen video where a juvenile comes to close to an adult male and he just grabs it in his mouth and shakes it all around until it dies.

That's what happens when you **** with the uhhh HIPPO BAUUUUUUCE!!!!

[TLO]

Originally Posted by Bewbies

This is better...

But from the couple other comments I have read. Yeah watch out because they will eat you.

[Dr. Johnny Fever]

"heep... heep hop... heephopannonymous...? You always give him the easy ones!"

[philfree]

Those things are like overgrown acquatic hogs. I wonder if they'd taste good comin' out of the smoker

[lcarus]

Originally Posted by philfree

Those things are like overgrown acquatic hogs. I wonder if they'd taste good comin' out of the smoker

I don't know. People apparently eat them though.

[Rausch]

Originally Posted by Big Smoke

But from the couple other comments I have read. Yeah watch out because they will eat you.

I'm not going anywhere I'm not considered the zenith of the food chain...

[Fish]

Would you believe they can also easily outrun humans?

Also interesting is "Hippo sweat"...

Hippos also sweat a special red secretion, that happens to be the best "sunscreen" in the world. And on top of being better sunscreen than what chemists can create, it also happens to be naturally antiseptic, and an insect repellent.

Hippos can stand in the hot sun all day without getting a sunburn, and now researchers know why: a red-colored glandular secretion known as "hippo sweat" contains microscopic structures that scatter light, protecting the hefty mammals from burns, according to a new study.

In the future, scientists hope to create a product inspired by hippo sweat that we may be slathering on our bodies before long. The stuff could be an advertiser's dream.
"It would be nice to also try and replicate the antiseptic and insect-repellent characteristics of the sweat, to obtain a four-in-one product: sunscreen, sunblock, antiseptic, insect repellent," co-author Christopher Viney told Discovery News.

Microscopic analysis of the sweat revealed that it contained two types of liquid crystalline structures: banded and non-banded. Viney explained that the banded structures are "characterized by concentric dark rings" when viewed under certain magnification.
"The rings are the result of a structural periodicity that occurs on a scale comparable to the wavelengths of visible light," he said. "This means that the sweat is an effective scatterer of light, so that it combines both sun-blocking and sun-screening properties."

The sweat's unusual red coloring is due to red and orange pigments present in the secretion. Prior research demonstrated that molecules in these pigments are capable of absorbing ultraviolet light.

[DMAC]

Watching those videos reminded me of this gem:

[bricks]

Originally Posted by KC Fish

Would you believe they can also easily outrun humans?

Also interesting is "Hippo sweat"...

Hippos also sweat a special red secretion, that happens to be the best "sunscreen" in the world. And on top of being better sunscreen than what chemists can create, it also happens to be naturally antiseptic, and an insect repellent.

Interesting info. Thanks.

[Aries Walker]

Originally Posted by WV

Funny that two of the more docile looking animals are the most dangerous. The Hippo and the Cape Buffalo.

People tend to underestimate hippos also because they have the proportions of a baby - big head, short limbs, fat belly - and that makes us think (on some primeval level) that they are as harmless as one. That is, of course, according to an article I read years ago, but it makes sense to me.

[Rain Man]

When I was in Africa, we went to an estuary that had a bunch of hippos. The interesting thing that I learned is that they don't swim. When they move in a river, they sink down to the bottom and do a "leap and glide" that seems pretty efficient. When we saw a hippo moving, we could trace its path because every 50 feet or so there would be a small muddy patch in the water where the hippo had kicked off the bottom.

[Sofa King]

Originally Posted by KC Fish

Would you believe they can also easily outrun humans?

Also interesting is "Hippo sweat"...

Hippos also sweat a special red secretion, that happens to be the best "sunscreen" in the world. And on top of being better sunscreen than what chemists can create, it also happens to be naturally antiseptic, and an insect repellent.

I looked at the picture before i read what you typed. I literally had no idea wtf i was looking at. I thought it was a bloody guy with his arm ripped off and pus draining.

Originally Posted by DMAC

Watching those videos reminded me of this gem:

That was an awesome thread.

[tooge]

To mark territory, hippos spin their tails while defecating to distribute their excrement over a greater area

meh. I do that and I don't even have a tail.

[RealSNR]

Originally Posted by tooge

To mark territory, hippos spin their tails while defecating to distribute their excrement over a greater area

meh. I do that and I don't even have a tail.

You use your finger or what?

[KcMizzou]

On "An Idiot Abroad", Ricky Gervais had Karl Pilkington stay in a home where they had a pet hippo. Damned thing walked around the house like a dog.