I learned some stuff about hippos today
 

One of my friends is working in Tanzania currently, and for part of his vacation he went on safari. Some of the pictures he brought back are hella cool. He was telling me that the best pictures he took by far are the ones of the hippos, simply because he was lucky and had a cab driver who wasn't afraid to get close to see them. I didn't understand what he meant, but he explained to me that of all human deaths by animals, hippos are the most dangerous. They kill far more people than any other animal. They will eat anything that accidentally wanders onto their territory. Lions, gazelles, birds, humans... ****ing crocodiles sometimes.

The other reason why the hippo picture was so impressive was because the stench of these animals is un****ingbearable. He was saying that these are some of the most disgusting mammalian creatures in existence. The hippos he encountered were all hanging out in their own pool. That's kind of where they spend all of their time. ALL of their time. They shit in there, too. They spend almost all of their time bathing in their own shit. Literally, the pool/pond is low-oxygen. Turbid. It doesn't drain, either, so they just shit in it day in and day out. Only a few species of fish can survive in there.

I'm posting his side of the story from our AIM chat log. Paraphrasing his words probably isn't going to be as effective:


(4:01:00 PM) and i saw one of them do it
(4:01:11 PM) it stood up out of the water and let out this continuous blast
(4:01:21 PM) but then it also spun its fat little tail
(4:01:22 PM) like a propeller
(4:01:25 PM) so shit literally
(4:01:27 PM) hit the fan
(4:01:28 PM) and went every which way
(4:01:37 PM) onto the heads of its fellow hippos
(4:01:42 PM) then it sat down

I'm letting you all know this incase you ever find yourselves in an area of the world where hippos live in the wild. Be warned by the strong stench of stale watery shit. If you are not naturally deterred and foolishly continue investigating, keep your eyes peeled for hippos. For the love of God, watch out. Because they are assholes, and will eat anything and everything. So unless you want to suffer the shittiest fate imaginable, where you get shit on, ripped to shreds, eaten, and pooped out into a pond of year-old hippo diarrhea, WATCH YOURSELF. Beware of hippos.

Hippos rock. My favorite part of the Topeka Zoo since I was a kid is the hippo tank. I can spend hours there.

Pics or it didnt happen.

Photographic evidence (this is his picture; you won't find this anywhere else using a google search):

Hippos will kill your ass.

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I'm guessing this is what he meant...

This is better...

<iframe width="560" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/jSZgkFtV-Ao" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

WOW LMAO

Well, there you have it. Science.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hippopotamus#Aggression

I've seen Clayton try that. Most of it winds up on himself.

"Well I think we're done."

LMAO

Wow, I am really immature.

By the way, pooping in the water was the first thing I thought of when I saw the word "hippo".

I bow down to the mighty hippo...I thought I could rip a mean fart, but I am humbled beyond words by this massive, muscular mammal-mountain of molten shit that makes its own thunder.

I salute you, great water-horse!