| What are the three most likely candidates for Iran's big announcement? (Pick three.) |
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They’ll announce the completion of uranium enrichment inside their borders - 11.11%
 
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They’ll fire up a nuclear power plant - 22.22%
 
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They’ll announce that they have a nuclear bomb - 44.44%
 
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They’ll set off a nuclear bomb in a test within Iran or in the ocean - 11.11%
 
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They’ll set off a nuclear bomb in Israel - 22.22%
 
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They’ll set off a nuclear bomb in the U.S. - 22.22%
 
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They’ll set off a nuclear bomb in some country other than Iran, Israel, or the U.S. - 11.11%
 
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They’ll invade Iraq or Afghanistan or some other godforsaken flea-infested backwater - 11.11%
 
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They’ll invade Greece to take over the place once and for all - 11.11%
 
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They’ll stone every woman in Iran to death because women are impure - 22.22%
 
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They’ll announce that they’re continuing their radio partnership with 101 The Fox - 11.11%
 
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They’ll announce an alliance with Fred Phelps to protest military funerals - 11.11%
 
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They’ll announce the invention of color television - 11.11%
 
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They’ll launch a Sputnik-style satellite - 11.11%
 
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They’ll launch a moon mission - 11.11%
 
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They’ll announce that they were behind Microsoft Vistas - 11.11%
 
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Obama will reveal himself to be a Tehranian Candidate plant of the mullahs - 11.11%
 
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Biden will reveal himself to be a Tehranian Candidate plant, though he'll mispronounce it - 11.11%
 
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Clinton will reveal herself to be a Tehranian Candidate plant, and her popularity will go up - 11.11%
 
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They’ll announce a name change back to Persia - 22.22%
 
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They’ll test-fire a long-range missile or ICBM - 11.11%
 
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They’ll instigate some plot to damage western financial markets - 11.11%
 
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They’ll withdraw their two lousy luge guys from the Winter Olympics - 11.11%
 
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They’ll declare Fatwa against the New Orleans Saints and their evil Christian name - 11.11%
 
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They’ll announce a new oil embargo, either alone or with other countries - 11.11%
 
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They’ll unleash a deadly disease that is activated by western behaviors such as showering - 11.11%
 
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They’ll announce a new Islamo-Chinese alliance - 11.11%
 
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They’ll announce some sort of anti-Monroe Doctrine alliance with Venezuela and/or Cuba - 11.11%
 
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They’ll declare war on the West - 11.11%
 
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They’ll host a speech by Osama bin Laden - 11.11%
 
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They’ll set off a bunch of random bombs and stuff in a bunch of places - 11.11%
 
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They’ll announce large new grants for aspiring rap musicians who make anti-Jewish lyrics - 11.11%
 
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They’ll announce the move of the Jacksonville Jaguars to Esfahan - 33.33%
 
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They’ll sign Peyton Manning to a large contract to play Iranian soccer - 11.11%
 
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They’ll set off a large EMP pulse aimed at our satellites - 11.11%
 
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They’ll announce the all-new Iran Facebook page and Twitter feed - 11.11%
 
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They’ll announce that Muhammad is back and he’s ticked at the Danish - 11.11%
 
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They’ll announce a Muslim Crusade and start boarding rickety boats to France - 11.11%
 
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They’ll announce Paul Tagliabue as Chief Mullah - 11.11%
 
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They’ll announce a partnership with Apple to produce the iRan, a new high-tech turban - 22.22%
 
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They’ll announce territorial claims on Delaware and parts of Maryland - 11.11%
 
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They’ll execute those hiker people - 11.11%
 
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They'll reveal that they were behind the John Goodman assassination - 11.11%
 
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They’ll show an alien spacecraft and its advanced technology - 11.11%
 
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They’ll all kill themselves to become martyrs against the West - 11.11%
 
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They’ll announce new evidence that the Holocaust never happened - 11.11%
 
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They’ll show cartoon pictures of Jesus, and how do you like it now, Westerners? Huh? Huh? - 11.11%
 
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It’ll be something lame, like “look at our big army parade” - 22.22%
 
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Whatever it is, it’ll be poorly photoshopped - 33.33%
 
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There will be no announcement. They’ll lose electricity ten minutes beforehand - 33.33%
 
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Total Votes: 9 You may not vote on this poll.
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