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Old 08-26-2012, 11:39 PM  
RealSNR RealSNR is offline
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I learned some stuff about hippos today
One of my friends is working in Tanzania currently, and for part of his vacation he went on safari. Some of the pictures he brought back are hella cool. He was telling me that the best pictures he took by far are the ones of the hippos, simply because he was lucky and had a cab driver who wasn't afraid to get close to see them. I didn't understand what he meant, but he explained to me that of all human deaths by animals, hippos are the most dangerous. They kill far more people than any other animal. They will eat anything that accidentally wanders onto their territory. Lions, gazelles, birds, humans... ****ing crocodiles sometimes.

The other reason why the hippo picture was so impressive was because the stench of these animals is un****ingbearable. He was saying that these are some of the most disgusting mammalian creatures in existence. The hippos he encountered were all hanging out in their own pool. That's kind of where they spend all of their time. ALL of their time. They shit in there, too. They spend almost all of their time bathing in their own shit. Literally, the pool/pond is low-oxygen. Turbid. It doesn't drain, either, so they just shit in it day in and day out. Only a few species of fish can survive in there.

I'm posting his side of the story from our AIM chat log. Paraphrasing his words probably isn't going to be as effective:


(4:01:00 PM) and i saw one of them do it
(4:01:11 PM) it stood up out of the water and let out this continuous blast
(4:01:21 PM) but then it also spun its fat little tail
(4:01:22 PM) like a propeller
(4:01:25 PM) so shit literally
(4:01:27 PM) hit the fan
(4:01:28 PM) and went every which way
(4:01:37 PM) onto the heads of its fellow hippos
(4:01:42 PM) then it sat down

I'm letting you all know this incase you ever find yourselves in an area of the world where hippos live in the wild. Be warned by the strong stench of stale watery shit. If you are not naturally deterred and foolishly continue investigating, keep your eyes peeled for hippos. For the love of God, watch out. Because they are assholes, and will eat anything and everything. So unless you want to suffer the shittiest fate imaginable, where you get shit on, ripped to shreds, eaten, and pooped out into a pond of year-old hippo diarrhea, WATCH YOURSELF. Beware of hippos.
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Old 08-27-2012, 11:02 PM   #46
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You use your finger or what?
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Old 08-27-2012, 11:39 PM   #47
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Old 08-27-2012, 11:47 PM   #48
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Also interesting is "Hippo sweat"...

Hippos also sweat a special red secretion, that happens to be the best "sunscreen" in the world. And on top of being better sunscreen than what chemists can create, it also happens to be naturally antiseptic, and an insect repellent.


I bet it took evolution a couple million years to figure out how to do that.
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Old 08-28-2012, 12:17 AM   #49
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Funny that two of the more docile looking animals are the most dangerous. The Hippo and the Cape Buffalo.
that would be because people are stupid enough to get close to them
nobody is gonna try to touch a lion
think about it, why they look sorta like cattle, I can just walk among them

evolution in action
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Old 08-28-2012, 12:32 AM   #50
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Evolution can brew up the ultimate warrior in the animal kingdom with a half cheetah/ half hippo.
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Old 08-28-2012, 12:32 AM   #51
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Hippo vs. Rhino.

Who's winning in a skr8 up fight?
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Old 08-28-2012, 12:48 AM   #52
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Back in the day when the Roman Coliseum was the place to see and be seen those Romans would put everything from lions, tigers, leopards, elephants, hippos and rhinos in the ring with the Gladiators.

Could you imagine the poor sap going against any one of them? Take your pick, doesn't matter much, your time on earth will be measured in seconds now. Not days and years. My goodness that would be brutal.
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Old 08-28-2012, 12:51 AM   #53
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Back in the day when the Roman Coliseum was the place to see and be seen those Romans would put everything from lions, tigers, leopards, elephants, hippos and rhinos in the ring with the Gladiators.

Could you imagine the poor sap going against any one of them? Take your pick, doesn't matter much, your time on earth will be measured in seconds now. Not days and years. My goodness that would be brutal.
I'll put money on ThaVirus in that shit. Skr8 up, yo.
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Old 08-28-2012, 12:54 AM   #54
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Old 08-28-2012, 01:00 AM   #55
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I'll put money on ThaVirus in that shit. Skr8 up, yo.
Throw me in with a loincloth and a teacup. I'll come out with a lion-skin jacket.
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Old 08-28-2012, 01:12 AM   #56
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Throw me in with a loincloth and a teacup. I'll come out with a lion-skin jacket.
Unfortunately, it will be covered in hippo feces
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Old 08-28-2012, 01:25 AM   #57
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Old 08-28-2012, 01:51 AM   #58
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Back in the day when the Roman Coliseum was the place to see and be seen those Romans would put everything from lions, tigers, leopards, elephants, hippos and rhinos in the ring with the Gladiators.

Could you imagine the poor sap going against any one of them? Take your pick, doesn't matter much, your time on earth will be measured in seconds now. Not days and years. My goodness that would be brutal.
Well, technically they weren't gladiators if they went against animals - they were either outright sacrifices, or what they called bestiarii, pit fighters specialized in fighting animals. Gladiators just fought each other. I know; nitpick, nitpick, nitpick.

There was supposed to be a Maximus vs. a rhino scene in Gladiator, but they cut it because I suppose it was one fight too many. They storyboarded it, though, and those show up on the DVD. It would have been sweet; I think he defeated it by having it get its horn stuck in the wooden wall. They also had a throwing-the-Christians-to-the-lions scene, which they actually shot, but then they cut it because they said the lions looked too listless and bored.
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Old 03-17-2014, 07:57 PM   #59
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This is better...
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Old 03-17-2014, 08:08 PM   #60
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