Social Etiquette: an interesting Facebook quandary.

[Direckshun]

So I'm in a bit of a quandary regarding my Facebook page. It's a minor issue, but it's kind of interesting, which makes it a decent offseason topic.

I've got a Facebook page. Yes, I know, lame, except that mine is very active. I update it every day or so with musings, pictures, music, and yes, political thoughts that scurry across my brain from time to time. Pretty standard stuff, I think, and my page has been updated on a near-daily basis for at least five years now. You're welcome to mock Facebooking and all that, but I enjoy it both as a way to keep up with friends and family and as a platform to express myself in whatever minor ways I can.

One of the things I've genuinely appreciated are my political updates. I'm decidedly, actively liberal, and I have friends across the political spectrum that will respectfully and pleasantly discuss the issues with one another. It's been this way for several years on my Facebook page, and it's one of those things in life I treasure -- you can't get pleasant political disagreement anywhere, but it's been right there for my enjoyment on my wall.

I know the standard feedback at this point would be (a.) don't Facebook, (b.) being liberal is dumb, (c.) why waste your time posting political shit on FB, or some combination of those pieces of advice. But that's not what I'm bringing up today.

Here's where the quandary kicks in.

I've gotten a new supervisor recently. I met him when he became my supervisor, so we have had no prior relationship. At work, he has the reputation of "likeable curmudgeon" -- much like milkman here on this forum. He's an older guy, always crotchety, he's always grumpy, but he's willing to stick up for you, and he generally means well. That's his reputation, anyway, but I do get this vibe when I work with him in person, but I've only known him under a month. There's always "kids these days" bullshit coming out of his mouth, but he otherwise seems a nice enough guy.

Within a week or so of working directly with him, he sends me a friend request on FB. I'm generally protective of my identity on the Planet, but if you know me enough to find me on FB, I've got nothing to hide, so I accept.

Within the day, he starts leaving comments on every single one of my political statuses. Which, in and of itself, I wouldn't mind.

But his comments are arch-conservative trolling. I don't care about the conservativism, as I'm FB friends with ChiefsPlanet's own patteeu and we've sparred on my wall several times. But pat doesn't screw with the generously cordial atmosphere I've accrued with my political discussions on FB. This guy doesn't give two shits, matter of fact he is intentionally abrasive with his comments. And he is hyperactive with his comments -- it's not a hit-and-run. He semi-floods the discussions with these remarks.

On a recent discussion about the immigration crisis we're going through with the 50,000 kids right now in camps at the border, he says he doesn't give two shits about kids that are breaking the law, and """zings""" that "what I want to know is how they train those flies in the UNICEF commercials."

Yeah. That's the kind of genius we're talking about here. And it trolls my other friends who are attempting to have an earnest conversation, and they get progressively more pissed off, and the conversation is shot.

Listen, I don't mind that he and I disagree on the issues. I live in the Ozarks and roughly half my friends do, but I manage to have reasonable discussions with them. This guy is being really abrasive, and it's weird because I work under him, so it's a delicate situation to begin with on my personal FB page.

Let me know how you'd handle the issue. It's obviously not a huge deal, but it is an awkward situation and I'm stewing on how best to resolve it.

Keep in mind that any advice that involves time travel ("you clearly shouldn't have friended him") is not terribly useful, as I lack that power at this point in time.

Thoughts?

[Dayze]

Like

[TLO]

tl:dr

Just delete you Facebook. I'm guessing that will solve your quandary.

[Dunerdr]

Work? I thought you were a democrat.

[KC native]

Never add coworkers that you aren't certain are cool on facebook. I've got at least a half dozen pending friend requests from former co-workers.

[Bowser]

Give him life in Candy Crush Saga and call it good.

[Sfeihc]

Unfriend? He can't fire you for unfriending him on FB.

[Dayze]

Originally Posted by Bowser

Give him life in Candy Crush Saga and call it good.

we don't want him to be one of 'those' guys. (ie...assholes.)

[DaFace]

Ideally, you wouldn't have accepted his request in the first place. I generally try and keep work people off of my Facebook friends list unless I generally consider them to be friends outside of work.

That said, I'd think you have two options:

1. Hide your posts from him. You can either hide him specifically, or you can create a group for people who you don't really want to interact with and add him to it.
2. Remove him as a friend. This would probably be tricky since you just added him, but I'd just let him know (in person) that you try and keep your Facebook account private and that you'd prefer to keep it that way.

Chances are you could go with #1 for a while, then quietly delete him in six months without his even noticing.

[Direckshun]

Originally Posted by Sfeihc

Unfriend? He can't fire you for unfriending him on FB.

That's where I'm leaning. I worry some about awkwardness at work stemming from it, as we're in frequent contact throughout the day.

[Direckshun]

Originally Posted by DaFace

Ideally, you wouldn't have accepted his request in the first place. I generally try and keep work people off of my Facebook friends list unless I generally consider them to be friends outside of work.

That said, I'd think you have two options:

1. Hide your posts from him. You can either hide him specifically, or you can create a group for people who you don't really want to interact with and add him to it.
2. Remove him as a friend. This would probably be tricky since you just added him, but I'd just let him know (in person) that you try and keep your Facebook account private and that you'd prefer to keep it that way.

Chances are you could go with #1 for a while, then quietly delete him in six months without his even noticing.

Smart............ Very smart.

[blaise]

Stop using facebook and use twitter more instead. Facebook is hack.

[Saccopoo]

I remember this one time I took the boss' married daughter to a strip club...

[alpha_omega]

FB and coworkers don't mix.

[Discuss Thrower]

You ****ed up in accepting the request.

That being said, you should censor him on your own FB. Delete posts you find objectionable.


If he calls you out then respond with that you're responsible for posts associated with your account and that you have to police comments that are inflammatory since they can easily be attributed to you as your own views on subjects. Tell him he's free to post comments contrary to what you believe as long as they're civil.

If he balks at this, then continue to censor the douche. What's he going to do? Report your ass to a superior because you won't let him post bullshit on your social media account? Sure, he can be passive aggressive by playing ****-**** games in your work environment? If so, then document that stuff and start the paper trail that leads to this guy being the source of your problems. If your's and his superiors continue to find you as the fault of the problem for you choosing to civilly control comments in your personal time then you should probably seek a less moronic work environment.