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Old 05-02-2016, 05:43 PM  
seclark seclark is offline
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so,i got a ****in skunk invading my property

bastard shows up about a week ago, coming out of the southwest corner of the yard...right about where the septic tank is(imagine that). it's just taking a couple steps at a time, nose on the ground. i hollered to the wife, "****in skunk's in the yard". she didn't make a big deal out of it, so, wth?

so, i'm sitting on the shitter this morning, scanning through the newest arrival of the "smithsonian", and she yells out, "have you got your gun?" turns out the damn skunk is back in the yard, digging up grubs.

i walk out on the back patio and yell, "yo skunk!!! get the **** out of here!". didn't even act like it heard me. kept digging and shit.

so i went back inside, got dressed and went to work.

i don't think this is over. i mean, i've shot a few critters over the years, but i ain't gonna shoot a skunk in the yard. read somewhere that if you shot them in the head, they wouldn't spray. but i don't think i'm that good of a shot. so, someone's gonna have to clean up a helluva mess. plus the smell for a few days.

i don't think you can trap a skunk...i know i wouldn't.

advice?
tia
sec
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Old 05-02-2016, 07:17 PM   #61
Toby Waller Toby Waller is offline
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Don't you know how to stop skunks from spraying ?
How?
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Old 05-02-2016, 07:18 PM   #62
DaneMcCloud DaneMcCloud is offline
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Originally Posted by Hog Farmer View Post
Don't you know how to stop skunks from spraying ?
I don't but I also don't know where they are or where they live.

My very uneducated guess would be that either the coyotes or my Labs scare them, therefore they spray.

In more than 13 years, I've never seen one. I just smell them.
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Old 05-02-2016, 07:19 PM
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Old 05-02-2016, 07:22 PM   #63
Hog's Gone Fishin Hog's Gone Fishin is offline
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Originally Posted by DaneMcCloud View Post
I don't but I also don't know where they are or where they live.

My very uneducated guess would be that either the coyotes or my Labs scare them, therefore they spray.

In more than 13 years, I've never seen one. I just smell them.
The only proven way is to stuff a cork up their ass .
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Old 05-02-2016, 07:23 PM   #64
lewdog lewdog is offline
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Originally Posted by DaneMcCloud View Post
I don't but I also don't know where they are or where they live.

My very uneducated guess would be that either the coyotes or my Labs scare them, therefore they spray.

In more than 13 years, I've never seen one. I just smell them.
Your kids would love a skunk. Do it.

I once knew a lady who had a mountain lion as a pet. In her house. I wouldn't recommend that though.
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Old 05-02-2016, 07:27 PM   #65
DaneMcCloud DaneMcCloud is offline
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The only proven way is to stuff a cork up their ass .
Perfect!

I have plenty of cork stored up in the garage and I'll just start grabbing those little ****ers and ram it up their asses using the psycho neighbor's dildo.

Piece of cake.
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Old 05-02-2016, 07:38 PM   #66
Dayze Dayze is offline
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Find a sexy black cat and paint a white stripe down its back. If it's a male skunk, he go boner crazy and pursue the cat. Hopefully the cat lures him away from your house.
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Old 05-02-2016, 07:50 PM   #67
Iowanian Iowanian is offline
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If you know where it's coming into the yard, put some mayo lids full of ammonia out. I know that will run them out from a porch or barn.....ironically they hate the stink.


Live trap, blanket over top...go to work and text your boys to go get it.
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Old 05-02-2016, 07:53 PM   #68
stumppy stumppy is offline
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If you know where it's coming into the yard, put some mayo lids full of ammonia out. I know that will run them out from a porch or barn.....ironically they hate the stink.


Live trap, blanket over top...go to work and text your boys to go get it.
Thats why mothballs in their burrow work.
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Old 05-02-2016, 08:02 PM   #69
Iowanian Iowanian is offline
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You want to solve it?


Go to the feed store and buy some fly bait...mix some granules into a dish of Coke near where it came into the yard....or a bowl of marshmallows

Keep the dogs locked up and get rid of the carnage within site of the bowl in the morning.
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Old 05-02-2016, 08:09 PM   #70
Toby Waller Toby Waller is offline
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You want to solve it?


Go to the feed store and buy some fly bait...mix some granules into a dish of Coke near where it came into the yard....or a bowl of marshmallows

Keep the dogs locked up and get rid of the carnage within site of the bowl in the morning.
Where does he get the coke from?
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Old 05-02-2016, 08:10 PM   #71
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70 goddamn posts and NO ONE has yet mentioned putting out a bowl of ****ing antifreeze? What the hell has happened to this place?
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Old 05-02-2016, 09:15 PM   #72
eDave eDave is offline
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Find a sexy black cat and paint a white stripe down its back. If it's a male skunk, he go boner crazy and pursue the cat. Hopefully the cat lures him away from your house.
That just might work

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Old 05-02-2016, 09:17 PM   #73
nychief nychief is offline
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divorce her.
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Old 05-02-2016, 09:18 PM   #74
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Shoot it and bury it. It will stink for a few days but it will go away.


I have killed dozens of the ****ers.
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Old 05-02-2016, 10:31 PM   #75
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Bet that skunk and 8 of his buddies wouldn't get shutout 3 out of 4 games
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