2013 Douche of the Year Poll - Round 1 - The KCChiefsFan 50/50 Region

[Lumpy]

Anyone that brags about raping women, (whether they actually do it or not), is a classless, sociopathic, piece of shit.

Hootie, what makes you think saying shit like that is mildly amusing? Have you ever considered that what you're saying could be difficult for some people on here to read?

[Hootie]

Originally Posted by Lumpy

Anyone that brags about raping women, (whether they actually do it or not), is a classless, sociopathic, piece of shit.

Hootie, what makes you think saying shit like that is mildly amusing? Have you ever considered that what you're saying could be difficult for some people on here to read?

It can't be any more difficult than someone thinking Alex Gordon should bat leadoff instead of 3rd.

[Hootie]

I always finish in my hand and vigorously rub it into both hands when I'm done like lotion...

it really makes your hands a lot smoother and smell really nice

[Hootie]

besides

I figured this time around instead of defending myself against ridiculous rape allegations from a story I told that had no implications of rape whatsoever

instead of defending myself

I would just embrace it.

SNR made rape cool. I've always wanted to be cool. Thanks, SNR.

[RealSNR]

Originally Posted by Peyton's Princess

besides

I figured this time around instead of defending myself against ridiculous rape allegations from a story I told that had no implications of rape whatsoever

instead of defending myself

I would just embrace it.

SNR made rape cool. I've always wanted to be cool. Thanks, SNR.

*nods*

I'm the Beethoven of rape

[lcarus]

Lumpy - this is the place where I can unload the classless, sociopathic, piece of shit thoughts and jokes that nearly all men have and just hide. It keeps me a relatively nice, normal guy in real life. I apologize for making you and others my sounding board for awful awful thoughts, even though it's clearly a joking tone.

It's Peyton's Princess fault though. He started it! I fell into his trap and we got into a give and take that probably would not have ended until 2 am mountain time had you not intervened and brought me back down to earth.

[Hootie]

Originally Posted by lcarus

Lumpy - this is the place where I can unload the classless, sociopathic, piece of shit thoughts and jokes that nearly all men have and just hide. It keeps me a relatively nice, normal guy in real life. I apologize for making you and others my sounding board for awful awful thoughts, even though it's clearly a joking tone.

It's Peyton's Princess fault though. He started it! I fell into his trap and we got into a give and take that probably would not have ended until 2 am mountain time had you not intervened and brought me back down to earth.

well in fairness it would have ended at 11 PM CST because that's when I'm getting off work and going directly to the bars where all of the hot 21 year olds have their moms with them tonight

I am so revved up I've downed 4 red bulls, 2 more red bulls, and have done about 19 key bumps of cocaine

[lcarus]

Originally Posted by Peyton's Princess

well in fairness it would have ended at 11 PM CST because that's when I'm getting off work and going directly to the bars where all of the hot 21 year olds have their moms with them tonight

I am so revved up I've downed 4 red bulls, 2 more red bulls, and have done about 19 key bumps of cocaine

Thanks. No, I mean it. You've inspired me. I'm gonna get off my lazy ass tonight and drive around aimlessly. I'm gonna pretend like I'm on the prowl. Hell who knows, maybe I'll stop in at Walmart and find the girls that are wearing glitter and blue high heels. You just know that any girl ruffling through the $5 dvd bargain bin sporting blue high heels at midnight is easy.

Shit...I'll probably get shot down still. I'll likely end up like I normally do on Saturday nights. With a handful of the alternate reality version of my son or daughter had I been a little more douchey to the girl at Walmart.

[Hootie]

Originally Posted by lcarus

Thanks. No, I mean it. You've inspired me. I'm gonna get off my lazy ass tonight and drive around aimlessly. I'm gonna pretend like I'm on the prowl. Hell who knows, maybe I'll stop in at Walmart and find the girls that are wearing glitter and blue high heels. You just know that any girl ruffling through the $5 dvd bargain bin sporting blue high heels at midnight is easy.

Shit...I'll probably get shot down still. I'll likely end up like I normally do on Saturday nights. With a handful of the alternate reality version of my son or daughter had I been a little more douchey to the girl at Walmart.

I just go to campus bars and tell girls I'm a hand model or find girls that are 6' tall and stand next to them and puff out my chest and tell them I'm the only guy in the bar taller than they are so they should probably hook up with me

or I stick my finger in their drink and taste it and then give them a nod and tell them good choice...they really like that one

that's a variation of the grab, dip, lick (GDL) I had to retire...

grab a girl (usually in an appropriate place or they get really mad, or excited...depends on the girl), dip a finger or two in their drink...and lick

that one had to be retired...lot of problems with that one

or once you get in with a girl...they really like the move when a guy walks by...I grab his butt cheeks...and then he immediately looks back and I VIGOROUSLY point at the girl standing next to me...that one actually landed me my last girlfriend

so I wouldn't suggest the GDL but if you can engage the girl try the butt cheek squeeze and vigorous point...that one is good, but has also gotten me banned from an older (my age) people bar because apparently it's more suitable for the 19-22 year old age range and not the 25-35 year old age range

[lcarus]

Originally Posted by Peyton's Princess

I just go to campus bars and tell girls I'm a hand model or find girls that are 6' tall and stand next to them and puff out my chest and tell them I'm the only guy in the bar taller than they are so they should probably hook up with me

or I stick my finger in their drink and taste it and then give them a nod and tell them good choice...they really like that one

that's a variation of the grab, dip, lick (GDL) I had to retire...

grab a girl (usually in an appropriate place or they get really mad, or excited...depends on the girl), dip a finger or two in their drink...and lick

that one had to be retired...lot of problems with that one

or once you get in with a girl...they really like the move when a guy walks by...I grab his butt cheeks...and then he immediately looks back and I VIGOROUSLY point at the girl standing next to me...that one actually landed me my last girlfriend

so I wouldn't suggest the GDL but if you can engage the girl try the butt cheek squeeze and vigorous point...that one is good, but has also gotten me banned from an older (my age) people bar because apparently it's more suitable for the 19-22 year old age range and not the 25-35 year old age range

Soooo....if I take any of this advice and apply it to the girl at Walmart tonight, I'm likely gonna end up getting thrown out and pleasuring myself to Nazareth "Love Hurts" at 1 am? I guess I just don't have the moves!

[Hootie]

also

anyone who takes the Internet so seriously where something some random person says hurts their feelings in some way is a pussy

also

if you don't like what two strong dudes talk about late at night in a douche bag thread where they were both nominated as douche bags...then I suggest you stop frequenting sites that are primarily men

because men like to talk about roofies sometimes

roofies, beer, taco via, and Mad Men

that's all I ever talk about really

[Lumpy]

Originally Posted by Peyton's Princess

also

anyone who takes the Internet so seriously where something some random person says hurts their feelings in some way is a pussy

also

if you don't like what two strong dudes talk about late at night in a douche bag thread where they were both nominated as douche bags...then I suggest you stop frequenting sites that are primarily men

because men like to talk about roofies sometimes

roofies, beer, taco via, and Mad Men

that's all I ever talk about really

Tell that to the men on here who have had their wives, girlfriends or daughters raped. If you're an insensitive piece of shit like this in RL, I have no doubt that you will piss off the wrong person one of these days and get your ass kicked.

As far as me taking the internet seriously, I don't. Talk about whatever, that's cool, but when you brag about raping women, you look like a mentally unstable, ****stick.

And another thing, bitch, I can be a part of this site if I ****ing well please. If you want to try to run me off, you're going to need to tuck in your meat flaps and stop being such a **** with your insults.

[Al Bundy]

Nevermind... Hootie should win going away.

[Hootie]

Originally Posted by Al Bundy

Nevermind... Hootie should win going away.

I make these contests not even fair.

[Hootie]

only on ChiefsPlanet would a women enter a thread and get mad about someone talking about building up a roofie tolerance and then soaking their condoms in GHB

******NEWSFLASH******

you think I use condoms?!??!?!

lets be adults here