2013 Douche of the Year Poll - Round 1 - The KCChiefsFan 50/50 Region

[Hootie]

Originally Posted by lcarus

Lumpy - this is the place where I can unload the classless, sociopathic, piece of shit thoughts and jokes that nearly all men have and just hide. It keeps me a relatively nice, normal guy in real life. I apologize for making you and others my sounding board for awful awful thoughts, even though it's clearly a joking tone.

It's Peyton's Princess fault though. He started it! I fell into his trap and we got into a give and take that probably would not have ended until 2 am mountain time had you not intervened and brought me back down to earth.

well in fairness it would have ended at 11 PM CST because that's when I'm getting off work and going directly to the bars where all of the hot 21 year olds have their moms with them tonight

I am so revved up I've downed 4 red bulls, 2 more red bulls, and have done about 19 key bumps of cocaine

[lcarus]

Originally Posted by Peyton's Princess

well in fairness it would have ended at 11 PM CST because that's when I'm getting off work and going directly to the bars where all of the hot 21 year olds have their moms with them tonight

I am so revved up I've downed 4 red bulls, 2 more red bulls, and have done about 19 key bumps of cocaine

Thanks. No, I mean it. You've inspired me. I'm gonna get off my lazy ass tonight and drive around aimlessly. I'm gonna pretend like I'm on the prowl. Hell who knows, maybe I'll stop in at Walmart and find the girls that are wearing glitter and blue high heels. You just know that any girl ruffling through the $5 dvd bargain bin sporting blue high heels at midnight is easy.

Shit...I'll probably get shot down still. I'll likely end up like I normally do on Saturday nights. With a handful of the alternate reality version of my son or daughter had I been a little more douchey to the girl at Walmart.

[Hootie]

Originally Posted by lcarus

Thanks. No, I mean it. You've inspired me. I'm gonna get off my lazy ass tonight and drive around aimlessly. I'm gonna pretend like I'm on the prowl. Hell who knows, maybe I'll stop in at Walmart and find the girls that are wearing glitter and blue high heels. You just know that any girl ruffling through the $5 dvd bargain bin sporting blue high heels at midnight is easy.

Shit...I'll probably get shot down still. I'll likely end up like I normally do on Saturday nights. With a handful of the alternate reality version of my son or daughter had I been a little more douchey to the girl at Walmart.

I just go to campus bars and tell girls I'm a hand model or find girls that are 6' tall and stand next to them and puff out my chest and tell them I'm the only guy in the bar taller than they are so they should probably hook up with me

or I stick my finger in their drink and taste it and then give them a nod and tell them good choice...they really like that one

that's a variation of the grab, dip, lick (GDL) I had to retire...

grab a girl (usually in an appropriate place or they get really mad, or excited...depends on the girl), dip a finger or two in their drink...and lick

that one had to be retired...lot of problems with that one

or once you get in with a girl...they really like the move when a guy walks by...I grab his butt cheeks...and then he immediately looks back and I VIGOROUSLY point at the girl standing next to me...that one actually landed me my last girlfriend

so I wouldn't suggest the GDL but if you can engage the girl try the butt cheek squeeze and vigorous point...that one is good, but has also gotten me banned from an older (my age) people bar because apparently it's more suitable for the 19-22 year old age range and not the 25-35 year old age range

[lcarus]

Originally Posted by Peyton's Princess

I just go to campus bars and tell girls I'm a hand model or find girls that are 6' tall and stand next to them and puff out my chest and tell them I'm the only guy in the bar taller than they are so they should probably hook up with me

or I stick my finger in their drink and taste it and then give them a nod and tell them good choice...they really like that one

that's a variation of the grab, dip, lick (GDL) I had to retire...

grab a girl (usually in an appropriate place or they get really mad, or excited...depends on the girl), dip a finger or two in their drink...and lick

that one had to be retired...lot of problems with that one

or once you get in with a girl...they really like the move when a guy walks by...I grab his butt cheeks...and then he immediately looks back and I VIGOROUSLY point at the girl standing next to me...that one actually landed me my last girlfriend

so I wouldn't suggest the GDL but if you can engage the girl try the butt cheek squeeze and vigorous point...that one is good, but has also gotten me banned from an older (my age) people bar because apparently it's more suitable for the 19-22 year old age range and not the 25-35 year old age range

Soooo....if I take any of this advice and apply it to the girl at Walmart tonight, I'm likely gonna end up getting thrown out and pleasuring myself to Nazareth "Love Hurts" at 1 am? I guess I just don't have the moves!