frickin dog question

[seclark]

so, the son and his wife went to some kind of money managing class. they came up with a plan on how to get out of debt and build a new house(i'm 57 and never been out of debt). anyway, the main part of the plan is for them and the 3 grandkids to move in w/the wife and i. actually, no biggie...grandkids usually stay w/us every weekend, and we know they're going to get older and not want to come out as much. life.

so, they sell their house and move in w/us 2 weeks ago. everything seems to be working fine, except the 3 dogs they brought w/them. used to living in a fenced in yard and sleeping in the house. i've got 30 acres for them to run wherever they want, but they seem to be happiest laying on the wifes ****in patio furniture. holler, scream, shake a stupid can w/rocks in it(dumbest idea of all), to no avail. the wife went to town and bought some spray shit for $40 and sprayed it all over the furniture saturday. yesterday morning...yep, they're laying on the patio furniture. she sprayed it again, but i know they'll be back.

so...surely some of you guys/gals have experienced this before and have a solution besides antifreeze and/or bullets? they're pretty cool dogs, really, but the wife is driving me ****in nuts over this.

suggestions?
tia
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[HemiEd]

Originally Posted by Pennywise

Have you tried spraying the furniture down with a good coat of llama piss?

Or better yet, light it on fire. Those pups won't want to lay on the furniture then!

[TimBone]

I've got no advice, sec. Sorry. This thread sure was entertaining, though.

[patteeu]

Originally Posted by TimBone

I've got no advice, sec. Sorry. This thread sure was entertaining, though.

Seconded

[HemiEd]

Ok, sec I have thought it over and have a recommendation.

Have a talk with your son/daughter and tell them it is their job to keep mom happy and the dogs off of furniture. Then if they get on the furniture and Mom complains blame it on the kid.

[seclark]

Originally Posted by HemiEd

Ok, sec I have thought it over and have a recommendation.

Have a talk with your son/daughter and tell them it is their job to keep mom happy and the dogs off of furniture. Then if they get on the furniture and Mom complains blame it on the kid.

won't work, ed...she thinks her kids and grandkids walk on water. i'm the crusty old man w/a crab up my ass. it's my job to take the blame. that's ok though...i've earned it.
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[ptlyon]

Originally Posted by seclark

won't work, ed...she thinks her kids and grandkids walk on water. i'm the crusty old man w/a crab up my ass. it's my job to take the blame. that's ok though...i've earned it.
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Did you watch deadliest catch this week? Hope it's not one of those crabs.

[MOhillbilly]

7.62mm fmj

[Pennywise]

I have salty half border collie and blue heeler that spotted and pinned down a cottonmouth yesterday in my yard. I'd have walked right up on the ****er if I hadn't noticed her looking at it. So I'm pro dog the rest of the week.

[seclark]

Originally Posted by MOhillbilly

7.62mm fmj

yeah, it's locked and loaded. they're still in the pen and only let out on leashes. hate for a dog to be caged up like that though.
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[seclark]

Originally Posted by Pennywise

I have salty half border collie and blue heeler that spotted and pinned down a cottonmouth yesterday in my yard. I'd have walked right up on the ****er if I hadn't noticed her looking at it. So I'm pro dog the rest of the week.

yeah those blue heelers are some kinda dogs. watched my bil moving cattle and his took a shot from a bulls back leg right between the peepers. he rolled, got up and shook his head a couple times then went right back to work.

sec

[Bwana]

Originally Posted by DJ's left nut

I had a puppy that would bit his leash when we walked and otherwise make an ass of himself. I tried to put that pepper spray stuff on there and it just made him gnaw on it more. Turns out the damn dog loves spicy food and will just eat jalapenos off the plant out of my garden.

WTF kind of dog loves spicy food? Weird damn dog.

One of my Dobermans liked to dig at one point in the same spot, which much to my horror was in the yard next to my sidewalk. I thought alright you goofy bastard I've got this.

I headed over to the dollar store and bought $20 worth of cayenne pepper. (20 five ounce bottles) I dumped everyone of them in that hole. I came out the next morning and the ****ing dog was eating it without a worry in the world.

Thankfully he has grown out of the hole digging stage.

[Buck]

Originally Posted by seclark

the saga continues...

Got home last night before anyone else…was sitting outside, drinking a beer and talking to mom on the phone. the neighbor from down the road who the wife buys eggs from pulls in the driveway. Said the dogs were down at his house chasing the chickens. When he went out to chase them off they ran away and old walter hand a chicken in his mouth.

So, I gave him $30 and a beer for the rooster. Calmed him down and said it wouldn’t happen again. he left and I went down in the woods and started hollering for them. here they came, and walter still had the rooster in his mouth. He brought it up and laid it at my feet like he was really proud of it. so, I pick up the chicken and carried it up to their pen w/them following me. shut the gate, then walked back to the house, dropped the chicken on the carport, let down the tailgate of my truck and sat there drinking a beer, trying to figure out how to handle the situation.

After about 10 minutes(and 2 beers), that fricken chicken gets up and walks under my legs into the garage and sits under the truck! Didn’t have a feather on his back, but he’s still alive!

So, everyone else gets home and the son calls a friend that raises chickens…we throw the rooster in the back seat of my truck and take him up there.

On the way home, we had a flat tire…couldn’t get the lug nuts off the wheel and had to call to call another friend of the sons to come and help w/that.

damn...
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Shoot the truck

[SAUTO]

Originally Posted by seclark

the saga continues...

Got home last night before anyone else…was sitting outside, drinking a beer and talking to mom on the phone. the neighbor from down the road who the wife buys eggs from pulls in the driveway. Said the dogs were down at his house chasing the chickens. When he went out to chase them off they ran away and old walter hand a chicken in his mouth.

So, I gave him $30 and a beer for the rooster. Calmed him down and said it wouldn’t happen again. he left and I went down in the woods and started hollering for them. here they came, and walter still had the rooster in his mouth. He brought it up and laid it at my feet like he was really proud of it. so, I pick up the chicken and carried it up to their pen w/them following me. shut the gate, then walked back to the house, dropped the chicken on the carport, let down the tailgate of my truck and sat there drinking a beer, trying to figure out how to handle the situation.

After about 10 minutes(and 2 beers), that fricken chicken gets up and walks under my legs into the garage and sits under the truck! Didn’t have a feather on his back, but he’s still alive!

So, everyone else gets home and the son calls a friend that raises chickens…we throw the rooster in the back seat of my truck and take him up there.

On the way home, we had a flat tire…couldn’t get the lug nuts off the wheel and had to call to call another friend of the sons to come and help w/that.

damn...
sec

Why didn't you take the chicken back to the guys who used to own it?

[notorious]

Originally Posted by JASONSAUTO

Why didn't you take the chicken back to the guys who used to own it?

Hippies don't like bare cocks.

[RealSNR]

How did they get the beagle to shut the **** up?

Good God, those things are ****ing annoying. Takes me back to my horror days of living in an apartment complex where the person directly below me had a first floor apartment and TWO of those things. She'd put them outside on a leash and go run errands, and of course they'd do nothing but ****ing bay at shit. Hope you enjoyed the sound of a goose dying from chocking to death on a baby donkey, because that's exactly what they sounded like.

It was a couple months before the landlord did ****ing anything about it. Either that, or somebody shot those damn dogs. I hope the latter is what occurred.