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07-05-2013, 10:50 AM | |
ON CP YOU’RE SOMEBODY’S BITCH!
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The Pussification of the American Male Demonstrated by a Longass, Boring ****ing Post
Dear Chiefsplaneteers,
I need help. When it comes to dressing myself and looking cool in doing so, I struggle. I've been told the last few years that I dress nicely, but this is ONLY because my wife picks out my outfits for me. Over the years, I've literally had to learn the hard way about apparent fashion "no-no's" by someone pointing out to me how stupid I looked by wearing certain combinations of clothing. In every single one of these instances, I had already worn that clothing combo SEVERAL times and spent the rest of the day thinking about how many people had thought I looked stupid as hell over the years for dressing that way. Examples: A.) I had a girlfriend in high school, who prior to leaving my house for the county fair (ugh), she INSISTED that I did not wear Doc Martin boots with shorts and that I changed into either some jeans or put some sandals on. B.) We had a freaking exchange student from Brazil who had a better sense of our culture's fashion than I do. The first week he lived with us, he said to me, "why do you do this, wearing your socks with sandals? I think this is kind of weird." I was like, "oh, I think that's how we do it in the U.S.A." He was like, "no, it isn't." He was right. C.) I had another girlfriend in high school who insisted that I did not wear navy blue and black together. D.) In my first Senior year of college (I had 2 of them), we arrived at this club and one of my best friends was like, "dude I think it's the funniest thing in the world that every time you wear a black dress shirt, you also wear a brown belt and brown loafers with it." I was like, "what's wrong with that?" He was like, "dude, that is a HUGE fashion no-no. Didn't you know that?!?! I never said anything to you because you are always acting like a jackass, so I figured you were doing it to be funny. Omg Swaff, you can be so stupid." And boy did I feel stupid...I had been doing that my entire life. Obviously, dressing cool does not come naturally to me. So, I got this thing in the mail from SI. They had an offer that I thought was freaking awesome. A one year subscription to SI and a jacket of a team of your choice for $29. You can check out the offer and the jacket here: http://www.si.com/offer29 I generally just disregard mail like this, but I decided to go through with this one and am pretty pumped about it. I'm real pumped about the jacket, for the only Chiefs jacket I have at the moment is a 1990's Starter jacket that my grandma found at a resale shop and bought for me. I don't mind it, but my wife won't be caught dead with me if I wear it, so I never wear it...I'll probably end up donating it...to the resale shop. Here is a pic of the jacket: Is this jacket presentable/cool enough to wear to a game or to wear out in public at the bar while watching the game? I literally don't know, I have no fashion sense and my wife is a Steelers fan, so of course she doesn't think it looks cool. Help a fashionably challenged brotha out. Thanks. Sincerely, rico <3 XOXOXOXOXOXXOXOXO <3 Last edited by rico; 07-06-2013 at 11:09 AM.. Reason: All hail milkman!!!!!!! |
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07-05-2013, 05:44 PM | #76 |
Unsparing
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You don't even know, brah...
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1. Merciless, severe. 2. Given freely and generously. 100% refusal to overrate 20 year Head Coaches with ZERO ****ing rings as a Head Coach. CP's Official Professor of 'Dem Blues for 2019/2020! |
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07-05-2013, 05:45 PM | #77 |
Spiraling down the Drain
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Carl is never where he is supposed to be.
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"We're both part of the same hypocrisy, Senator, but never think it applies to my family." "Fredo. You are my brother, and I love you. But never take sides against the Family again. Ever." 2019 Adopt a Chief - Travis Kelce #87 |
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07-05-2013, 07:34 PM | #78 | |
special teams
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Quote:
then why the **** do you care if you look cool? she WILL tell you what she hates
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Psyko Tek The keyboard has been drinking, |
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07-05-2013, 07:52 PM | #79 |
Valiant 'The Thread Killer'
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The key to fashion is the person wearing it not the colors. Well except the doc martin shoes with shorts and socks and sandals. That is just ****ing weird.
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07-05-2013, 08:01 PM | #80 |
MVP
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Do not get! These days, either a good vintage jacket, or a simple red jacket with a small arrowhead is all that look goid
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07-05-2013, 08:38 PM | #81 |
In Search of a Life
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Very Marty Schottenheimerish...circa 1990
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Originally Posted by Cassel's Reckoning: Matt once made a very nice play in Seattle where he spun away from a pass rusher and hit Bowe off his back foot for a first down. One of the best plays Matt has ever made. |
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07-05-2013, 09:14 PM | #82 |
Keep doubting J MFing Houston
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Shit.
No mustard? It's actually one of the better looking ones Ive seen Now......The stuff in the OP is just humor right?... ....right? |
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07-05-2013, 11:56 PM | #83 | ||||||
ON CP YOU’RE SOMEBODY’S BITCH!
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Haha, I can deal with that. |
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07-06-2013, 01:23 AM | #84 |
Guest
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Regardless of what that jacket looks like, you're wearing it twice. Then the seams will start splitting apart and the entire thing will disintegrate. You're paying SI $29. They spent $.29 to have these things made in China. Walmart has better quality items for $29.
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07-06-2013, 01:31 AM | #85 | |
Don't Be A Dick
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07-06-2013, 01:32 AM | #86 | |
ON CP YOU’RE SOMEBODY’S BITCH!
Join Date: Sep 2011
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Quote:
I don't want to get off topic, but I was just thinking about something relevant to this yesterday so I gotta spill it (apologies in advance). My wife bought me a bunch of shirts from the Buckle about a months and a half ago. All of them expensive as hell (for me anyways). I shit you not, they've been through the washer maybe twice and they are already disintegrating. I ****ing hate the Buckle. Yeah, their clothing looks nice (with an exception of the MMA-ish shirts...I hate those because in my neck o'woods, only the wussies who are trying to reciprocate for being wussies wear those) and it is expensive, but good gosh every time I purchase something from there, it is the lowest freaking quality... Shirts disintegrate, holes formulate in jeans after 3 months, etc. Hate that place. |
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07-06-2013, 03:21 AM | #87 | |
Don't Be A Dick
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Another point is that the $.29 China made SI gear is probably the exact same supplier that Wal-Mart uses. |
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07-06-2013, 03:23 AM | #88 |
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07-06-2013, 03:29 AM | #89 | |
Don't Be A Dick
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(Just kidding Rico) However, I wonder if during sex instead of saying "oh yes" he gives a wordy sex speech that lasts well after the sex is finished. |
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07-06-2013, 03:35 AM | #90 |
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I can't remember, did Rico already "roast" you? Ha. Where did this fool come from? He acts like he is a vet from 2000 these days. But his woman looks ok to PIIHB.
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