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Old 07-21-2012, 02:57 AM  
Count Zarth Count Zarth is offline
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The Declaration Of Independence, MO - The People vs. Matthew Gus Brennan Cassel

The Declaration Of Independence, MO


The People vs. Matthew Gus Brennan Cassel


When in the course of football events, it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve the fandom bands which have connected them with a Quarterback, and to assume among the Powers of the NFL, the separate and equal station to which the Laws of Football and of the NFL's Goodell entitle them, a decent respect to the opinions of mankind requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the separation.

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all Quarterbacks are not created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain Unalienable Talents, that among these are Arm Strength, Accuracy and the Pursuit of Championships.

That to secure these talents, Quarterbacks are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the Consent of the Fanbase, That whenever any Form of Quarterback becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new Quarterbacks, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their Attendance At Arrowhead and Hope For A Championship.

Prudence, indeed, will dictate that Quarterbacks Long Established should not be changed for light and transient causes; and accordingly all experience hath shewn, that mankind are more disposed to suffer, while evils are sufferable, than to right themselves by abolishing the forms to which they are accustomed. But when a long train of abuses and usurpations, pursuing invariably The Same Offense evinces a design to reduce them under absolute Despotism, it is their right, it is their duty, to Throw Off Such Quarterbacks, and to provide new Guards (however, neither left nor right) for their Future Rooting Interests.

Such has been the patient sufferance of these Chiefs Fans; and such is now the necessity which constrains them to alter their former Systems of Offense. The history of the present Quarterback is a history of repeated injuries and usurpations, all having in direct object the establishment of an Absolute Run-First Offense over the State of Missouri.


To prove this, let Facts be submitted to a candid world.


Cassel 3:16


Spoiler!


Playoff Teams Beat Cassel At An Alarming Rate


Spoiler!


Winning Teams Beat Cassel At An Alarming Rate


Spoiler!


Cassel Lacks Deep Passing Ability


Spoiler!


Cassel Makes Offensive Linemen Worse


Spoiler!


Cassel Struggles Against Good Defenses At An Alarming Rate


Spoiler!


Cassel Struggles Against Elite Quarterbacks At An Alarming Rate


Spoiler!



We, therefore, the Representatives of the United States of Chiefs Fans, in General Congress, Assembled, appealing to the Supreme GM of Arrowhead for the rectitude of our intentions, do, in the Name, and by Authority of the good People of these Chiefs, solemnly publish and declare, That these United Chiefs fans are, and of Right ought to be Free and Independent of Matthew Gus Brennan Cassel.

That they are Absolved from all Allegiance to the Patriot Crown, and that all political connection between them and the State of New England, is and ought to be totally dissolved.

And that as Free and Independent Chiefs Fans, they have full Power to levy Boos, conclude Peace, contract Alliances with Dwayne Bowe, establish Commerce with Top Five Picks, and to do all other Acts and Things which Independent Fans may of right do.

And for the support of this Declaration, with a firm reliance on the protection of divine Providence, we mutually pledge to each other our Lives, our Playoff Fortunes and our Sacred Fandom.


SIGN BELOW


This post made possible by SNR, Coogs and The Gang Of 14.
Statistics compiled by ESPN, PFF and PFR

Dedicated to 'Hamas' Jenkins, our Patrick Henry, who said "Give Me Sanchez, Or Give Me Death."









For further details, please review The Pioli Facts.

The Declaration has been updated with statistics from 2012 and FINALIZED. Remove Matt Cassel from Kansas City. FOREVER.

Last edited by Count Zarth; 12-26-2012 at 08:03 AM..
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Old 07-21-2012, 04:44 PM   #91
whoman69 whoman69 is offline
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Nein. Doth thou not perceive what hath transpired here? Verily, after their long suffering beneath the cruel yoke of despotic reign, Chiefs fans are drawn hence to this thread, this forum, this haven of knowledge, like moths to flame.

Forsooth, let us set a fire in his flesh!

burn the witch? Does he weigh the same as a duck?
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When the boobs are a bouncin, the Chiefs will be trouncin
What the Raiders fan has said is true, our customs are different. What Al Davis has said is unimportant, and we do not hear his words.
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Old 07-21-2012, 04:46 PM   #92
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Everyone here at CP knows how much Cassel sucks, but that doesn't mean it is not important to remind ourselves of exactly how much Cassel sucks.
Every time I look at what's left of my remote control I am reminded of exactly how much Cassel sucks.
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Old 07-21-2012, 04:49 PM   #93
whoman69 whoman69 is offline
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Originally Posted by notorious View Post
Every time I look at what's left of my remote control I am reminded of exactly how much Cassel sucks.
It makes me glad I can't get Sunday ticket.
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When the boobs are a bouncin, the Chiefs will be trouncin
What the Raiders fan has said is true, our customs are different. What Al Davis has said is unimportant, and we do not hear his words.
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Old 07-21-2012, 04:50 PM   #94
JASONSAUTO JASONSAUTO is offline
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Every time I look at what's left of my remote control I am reminded of exactly how much Cassel sucks.
Should've learned a long time ago to just turn the game on and hide the remote
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Old 07-21-2012, 04:55 PM   #95
L.A. Chieffan L.A. Chieffan is offline
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I can refute all those stats, but I'm too lazy.
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Old 07-21-2012, 04:58 PM   #96
notorious notorious is offline
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Originally Posted by JASONSAUTO View Post
Should've learned a long time ago to just turn the game on and hide the remote
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Old 07-21-2012, 05:08 PM   #97
Count Zarth Count Zarth is offline
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Originally Posted by L.A.Chieffan View Post
I can refute all those stats, but I'm too lazy.
The best defense for all of Cassel's bullshit is that he hasn't faced that many winning teams the last two seasons. Just four in two years, which is shocking to be honest. I guess you could argue he hasn't had much of an opportunity to prove himself against good teams while playing with a solid supporting cast.

He has constantly ducked good teams the last two seasons by sheer fortune. Likely he would have been eviscerated by Rivers in San Diego in 2010, but our failed assassination attempt took priority.

In 2011 his convenient injury meant he didn't have to face:

New England
Pittsburgh
Green Bay

He also didn't have to face Chicago (Bears defense would have ****ed him up), Oakland with Carson Palmer or Denver on the road.

Likely he would have lost all of those and we would have even stronger evidence that he's a piece of shit.

YOU CAN'T HIDE THIS YEAR, MATT.
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Old 07-21-2012, 05:09 PM   #98
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Old 07-21-2012, 05:22 PM   #99
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The best defense for all of Cassel's bullshit is that he hasn't faced that many winning teams the last two seasons. Just four in two years, which is shocking to be honest. I guess you could argue he hasn't had much of an opportunity to prove himself against good teams while playing with a solid supporting cast.

He has constantly ducked good teams the last two seasons by sheer fortune. Likely he would have been eviscerated by Rivers in San Diego in 2010, but our failed assassination attempt took priority.

In 2011 his convenient injury meant he didn't have to face:

New England
Pittsburgh
Green Bay

He also didn't have to face Chicago (Bears defense would have ****ed him up), Oakland with Carson Palmer or Denver on the road.

Likely he would have lost all of those and we would have even stronger evidence that he's a piece of shit.

YOU CAN'T HIDE THIS YEAR, MATT.
I think he would have won the Chicago game.

Too bad the Bears weren't a playoff team last year so he could score some points
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Old 07-21-2012, 05:25 PM   #100
Count Zarth Count Zarth is offline
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EVEN NOW Matt Cassel seeks to spread his discord and false hope among our fanbase. We must never relent. We will fight him on the internet, we will fight him at the Royals game, we will fight him at Arrowhead.

Win Throwing Lessons from Kansas City Chief, Matt Cassel!!


http://www.fryorthodontics.com/matt-cassel/

Quote:
Fry Orthodontic Specialists is proud to announce a new contest to win Throwing Lessons from Matt Cassel! A great local charity, Shadow Buddies has provided the opportunity for us to share the knowledge of our great Chiefs Quarterback. Shadow Buddies was created with the purpose of providing emotional support through education regarding illness, disability, or medical treatments. Shadow Buddies is truly an asset to the Kansas City community, and we are very happy to be a part of their great mission!

We will have 2 winners (each can bring one parent), and they will be picked up in a limo at our Overland Park office at 9:15am on Wed. July 25. You have only about a week to get entered!!

All Kansas City patients are qualified to win! Show your Kansas City Chiefs knowledge:

Write a response to this blog below. What I want to know is why this years Chiefs team is best situated to go to the Super Bowl. Your knowledge of players present and former to compare will win you points with the judges. Your excitement needs to come through. We will be in contact with Matt, and get his vote on the best. We will also have several Fry Orthodontics team members voting on their favorite response. SHOW YOUR CHIEFS PRIDE!

I can’t wait to read the responses!

Dr. Jeremy
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Old 07-21-2012, 05:29 PM   #101
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Old 07-21-2012, 05:37 PM   #102
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Plus, the Declaration of Independence was literally the same ****ing thing.

They thought that people should be free from assholes, contended that they were dealing with an asshole, and presented facts detailing his assholism. Then they told the asshole to **** off.

And they signed that shit.

And then they kicked ass and won a championship with the first franchise quarterback.

Peyton Manning
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Old 07-21-2012, 05:38 PM   #103
Count Zarth Count Zarth is offline
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You can find some bullshit on twitter.

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Old 07-21-2012, 05:46 PM   #104
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It makes me glad I can't get Sunday ticket.
yeah.
i'll get the Ticket the day Cassel's moved to backup or released.
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Old 07-21-2012, 05:49 PM   #105
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It seems Clayton has finally gone completely batshit crazy.

It wasn't a very long trip.
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