ChiefsPlanet Spotlight: Hammock Parties

[TLO]

Tonight on the show we take a look at a poster who should have been taking his duty as a juror seriously and instead was posting on ChiefsPlanet instead.

Thank God for the US Legal System (Tyreek says thank you too, Legal System)

Without further ado, I present to you the man who still has Geno Smith poster hanging on his bedroom ceiling....


Hammock Parties!!!!!

[Hammock Parties]

Originally Posted by Pasta Giant Meatball

Describe the biggest woman you would pork? Were those giant panties in the infamous picture those of a hidden chubby?

No larger than Kate Upton. I like 'em skinny.

I don't know why anyone thinks those are large...they came off a tiny woman...maybe 5-3 and 110 lbs. Lack of scale perhaps.

[Sweet Daddy Hate]

Originally Posted by Hammock Parties

I have a relatively full head of hair, sir. Let us not go down this path.

Hey, it's not like I wanted to go down that path either, but mother nature had different plans. Still, I had a great 46 year run so I can't really complain.

I only ask because your last YouTube appearance at Shane's dogged you out And don't waste your time with growgain. All it does is slow the process by maybe a year at most.

[Hammock Parties]

Originally Posted by Sweet Daddy Hate

Hey, it's not like I wanted to go down that path either, but mother nature had different plans. Still, I had a great 46 year run so I can't really complain.

I only ask because your last YouTube appearance at Shane's dogged you out And don't waste your time with growgain. All it does is slow the process by maybe a year at most.

Bro, that was bad lighting.

A bit thin perhaps, but I've been a bit thin for three years. I'm not in billay territory yet.

[Hog's Gone Fishin]

Originally Posted by Hammock Parties

6 feet...and over 15,000 FB followers


So I was unemployed at the end of last year, and decided to get a roommate to defray some of the exorbitant cost of my previous rental. Everything was cool until his room started to stink. I mean the stench would waft down the hallway with the door closed. So you know...didn't feel like having anyone over.

Technically he was just renting a room, but I was way too nice and he took advantage of the rest of the house, moved a bunch of shit into the garage without asking, parked a non-running SUV on the street, which got towed after two weeks. ****ing loser. So this explains his complete lack of self care.

I mean, this dude was filthy. He didn't wash his sheets in six months of living there. He tracked mud all over the house and let the microwave get crud all over it until I told him WTF DUDE. And then when I started sleeping at my new place a few days before he had to be out, I came back to check on things and he had ****ing done it AGAIN. AFTER I had cleaned the whole ****ing house. ****er.

THEN this mother****er acted like he was going to squat on the place, since you know, I had moved all my shit out. He bought another car that WASN'T RUNNING and had it TOWED and sat it in the driveway and PUT HIS NAME ON THE MAILBOX. This was three days before I had told him to be out.

I saw that shit and ripped it off the mailbox and threw it away. Then I go INTO the house and he hasn't moved SHIT out of there. So I sent him several very STERN text messages about how he had to be the OUT OF HERE and TAKE THAT CAR WITH YOU TOO or we were going to have a problem.

Anyway long story short we never had a rental agreement (I found him on a local FB group) and he left garbage everywhere, never cleaned up ANYTHING, and I had to clean his entire filthy living quarters, including HIS DRIED FECAL MATTER OFF THE TOILET. HE DIDN'T CLEAN HIS TOILET ONCE IN SIX MONTHS.

Mother****er even left a crate of goddamn dog food in the garage. I had to scoop the dog food out of that damn thing and put it in garbage bags so the city would take it away.

I earned every penny of that deposit back.

Anyway, lesson learned.

Now you have a sampling of the life of a landlord.

[BryanBusby]

How many ewok dildo's can you fit in your ass at once? Asking for a friend.

[Hammock Parties]

Originally Posted by BryanBusby

How many ewok dildo's can you fit in your ass at once? Asking for a friend.

depends if we're talking about return of the jedi dildos or ewok adventure dildos

[BryanBusby]

Originally Posted by Hammock Parties

depends if we're talking about return of the jedi dildos or ewok adventure dildos

return of the jedi

[Hammock Parties]

Originally Posted by BryanBusby

return of the jedi

it's a trick question

ewok dildos didn't come out until



i think you can see why

[scho63]

1. What's the oldest woman you banged?
2. Ever sleep with a black, Latino, or Indian woman?
3. Who are your 3 favorite CP posters and your 3 least favorite?
4. When was the last time you shoplifted?
5. Ever been arrested?
6. Most money you ever made in one year?

[Hammock Parties]

Originally Posted by scho63

1. What's the oldest woman you banged?
2. Ever sleep with a black, Latino, or Indian woman?
3. Who are your 3 favorite CP posters and your 3 least favorite?
4. When was the last time you shoplifted?
5. Ever been arrested?
6. Most money you ever made in one year?

1. 40
2. No, Yes, Yes
3. Frazod, SNR, htismaqe / Tiger, Sandy, cooper
4. 20 years ago
5. Just my development
6. 65k

[Rivaldo]

Originally Posted by Hammock Parties

Let's be honest. Those moments when your colon feels nice and packed and you're sitting down, relaxed, reading a thread, and just taking your time, knowing you will have to poop eventually, but for now you can just enjoy that wonderful full feeling, the pressure building, almost like your butt is a big zit and you're getting ready to pop the poop out of it like a giant geyser of pus....those moments are nice. And totally not homosexual or even a little bit gay in any way.

But to feel that way ALWAYS and never shit? No. Because as good as that "meatloafed" feeling feels, it pales in comparison to when you actually evacuate your bowels. But that feeling is only amplified by letting your stool get a nice "pump" going, if you will.

It's a yin and yang situation, you see? You must feel 10-20% constipated in order to fully appreciate a nice shit.

Otherwise...what are we living for?

loooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooool

[Naptown Chief]

Originally Posted by Hammock Parties

Let's be honest. Those moments when your colon feels nice and packed and you're sitting down, relaxed, reading a thread, and just taking your time, knowing you will have to poop eventually, but for now you can just enjoy that wonderful full feeling, the pressure building, almost like your butt is a big zit and you're getting ready to pop the poop out of it like a giant geyser of pus....those moments are nice. And totally not homosexual or even a little bit gay in any way.

But to feel that way ALWAYS and never shit? No. Because as good as that "meatloafed" feeling feels, it pales in comparison to when you actually evacuate your bowels. But that feeling is only amplified by letting your stool get a nice "pump" going, if you will.

It's a yin and yang situation, you see? You must feel 10-20% constipated in order to fully appreciate a nice shit.

Otherwise...what are we living for?

That's some poetic shit dude

[Naptown Chief]

Brooke Pryor or Amy Schumer?

[loochy]

Originally Posted by Hammock Parties

My first foray into erectile enhancement was with generic Viagra. It works, but I find the potency can vary depending upon which brand you acquire, and the side effects are awful.

For that three-day stiffy that pops up every time you smell a woman's perfume...nothing beats the pure liquid power of tadalafil. Just a few drops of this magic elixir will have you thrusting like Peter North!

Cialis is an awesome pre-workout too. Keep the dose low (around 5 mg) about an hour before working out and you'll have some awesome pumps. Using that low dose helps prevent sides like nose congestion and dizziness.

[Pasta Little Brioni]

Steel Pipe Loochy