A few reasons why your Chiefs will blow out the Denver Broncos

[Pablo]

A few reasons why I'm going to wake up with a 13-inch whammer tomorrow:

1) The jelquing of my package

I've been doing some confusing stretches and diamond type shapes looking to really expand the skin and cartilage. I've even put it on tape to get my technique down.

2) 6.25

Inches is what I'm looking at right now. Prime time conditions. Holiday. Wife will be mega drunk and looking to bone. There's just no way my dick doesn't double in size overnight in anticipation for the kidney thrusting I'm about to give her.

3) I just lost out on a blowjob

I had one all lined up the other night, and I just had to say some mouthy stupid shit and kill the deal. My dick has been pretty pissed at me. So mad I'm guessing he'll grow at an alarming rate for no good reason.

Final score:

Pablo's enormous wang - 700, Wife's orifices - 0.