Funny things your pet would say to you?

[ROYC75]

If your pet could talk, What would some of your best " WTF" moments be like ?

[jerryaldini]

Every time you pick up my poop it's obvious who is in charge

[Bearcat]

Originally Posted by Rain Man

As a child, I had a cat who would ring the doorbell. I never figured out if it was intentional or accidental, because he would jump up on a narrow brick ledge next to the door, and the doorbell was pretty much at that height. So it's possible that he would accidentally ring it because he'd be turning around and pacing on that ledge, but I think he learned that ringing it would bring us to the door.

[eDave]

"Dude, WTF?"

[WhiteWhale]

Originally Posted by Bearcat

Had a dog that figured out how to get inside with this style of door knob... tried to teach it to close the damn door on the way in (you weren't raised in a barn), but it never took.

My lab figured out the round doorknob... he used his mouth to turn it. I had to start leaving it locked. It still bears his marks. He, also, didnt shut the door behind him.

Now he does, but he gave up opening the door a while ago, but he always pushes the door closed with me when he comes in.

Noisiest dog too. Crazy variety of whines, squeals, barks, and grunts. I've told him to be quiet so much he knows exactly what quiet means. Plus they mean things. He practically already does talk.

What would he ask me?

'Why are YOU eating steak and I'm eating this shit?'

[ROYC75]

Owner: Hey guess what, You got to be good because I'm taking you to this new doggie spa, they have plenty of rooms for doggy boarding. Dude, you get to meet other doggy dudes and some really cute doggy babes! ( Owner drops him off at the local Vet.) Two days later .........

Dog says to the owner: You sick, obscene, despicable, basturd . After you left me there to get pampered, this song came on the radio! It played over and over and over, it was
frigg'n non stop. The people were nice, they were petting me, loving on me and then somehow I fell asleep. When I woke up from my nap, " my ****ing balls were gone ". Some sick bastard cut my nuts off! Like WTF, Ya know, This frigg'n hurts! Why did they do that! Are they planning on eating them? I ask because while I was here I herd some cows talking about losing their nuts!

Song on the radio
I used to be such a sweet, sweet thing
'Til they got a hold of me.
I opened doors for little old ladies,
I helped the blind to see.
I got no friends 'cause they read the papers.
They can't be seen with me and I'm gettin' real shot down
And I'm feeling mean.
No more Mister Nice Guy,
No more Mister Clean,
No more Mister Nice Guy,
They say he's sick, he's obscene.
I got no friends 'cause they read the papers.
They can't be seen with me and I'm feelin' real shot down
And I'm gettin' mean.
No more Mister Nice Guy,
No more Mister Clean,
No more Mister Nice Guy,
They say he's sick, he's obscene.
My dog bit me on the leg today.
My cat clawed my eyes.
Ma's been thrown out of the social circle,
And dad has to hide.
I went to church incognito.
When everybody rose, the Reverend Smith,
He recognized me,
And punched me in the nose, he said.
No more Mister Nice Guy,
No more Mister Clean,
No more Mister Nice Guy,
He said you're sick, you're obscene.
No more Mister Nice Guy,
No more Mister Clean,
No more Mister Nice Guy,
He said you're sick, you're obscene.

Owner tells dog: We had to get you fixed! Dude, it's called being nueterd!

Dog :And here I thought I got drunk, partied too much and just lost my balls! So lookey here you sick obscene bastard,! They showed me how to eat with the silverware. yep, and that includes knives! I know where you sleep every night you ruthless son of a bitch because I am No More Mr. Nice Guy!

[ChiefRocka]

“An ew sop abbin’ my ung ackath”

[stevieray]

what? why? you let the cat get on the counter...