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Old 04-16-2021, 01:03 PM  
Hammock Parties Hammock Parties is offline
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Men Demand Reparations From Women Due To Eve Eating The Apple
Damn straight. That bitch ruined EVERYTHING!

Men Demand Reparations From Women Due To Eve Eating The Apple



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WORLD—The men of the world are demanding reparations from the women of the world after realizing all their problems stem from Eve taking a bite of the fruit from the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil over 5,999 years ago.

"Eve, the ancestor of all women, ruined everything for us," said Carl McGuinness of Provo, Utah, at a press conference Friday. "We demand payment for the sin and death that rained down upon the human race after the first woman went ahead and took a bite of the forbidden fruit."

"This is merely leveling the playing field from all the inequity that women have caused through their ancestor less than 6,001 years ago."

After calculating the damages stemming from Eve's bite out of the fruit, men have determined they are owed some $593,000,000,000,000,000. As they realize this will take some time to pay back, they have stated they are graciously willing to take payment in the form of sandwiches for the time being.

At publishing time, men had withdrawn their request since women pointed out that if Adam had been there to lead his wife as the head of the household, Satan probably wouldn't have been able to trick her.
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Old 04-16-2021, 03:22 PM   #31
Willie Lanier Willie Lanier is offline
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Originally Posted by Hammock Parties View Post
They would if they could.
Now we're talking semantics man, if you could run a fortune 500 company, would you?

I'll answer for you Hell yes...

The difference is women have the capability of doing that, whereas they don't have any capability to play in the NFL
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Old 04-16-2021, 03:24 PM   #32
AdolfOliverBush AdolfOliverBush is offline
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Reparations? Sure. Just prove the alleged "apple eating" actually happened first.
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Old 04-16-2021, 03:44 PM   #33
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The last time a girl cried in my presence I got rid of her.
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Old 04-16-2021, 04:00 PM   #34
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Eve took a bite of the apple and gave some to Adam who was with her. Adam didn't lay down the law to her after God told him not to eat from the tree. Now men are responsible for their women. Ugh, they know.
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Old 04-16-2021, 04:01 PM   #35
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Originally Posted by Willie Lanier View Post
That's a really disheartening point of view for women; but, to each their own...

Personally I think women are the smarter sex...

They don't ram their heads into things for a game
This is going to sound misogynist but there have been studies that have shown men on avg are like 2% smarter than women. Yet women are better educated than men, by far. Such a small disparity is of little consequence in the real world because men are usually dumber acting due to their more hyper driven sexuality and much easier to be taken advantage of.
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Old 04-16-2021, 04:01 PM   #36
displacedinMN displacedinMN is offline
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Here's some trivia I'd bore people with at parties: We've had one de facto woman President.
Elenor Roosevelt
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Old 04-16-2021, 04:03 PM   #37
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Originally Posted by Willie Lanier View Post
That's a really disheartening point of view for women; but, to each their own...

Personally I think women are the smarter sex...

They don't ram their heads into things for a game
They multi task and switch ideas better.
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Old 04-16-2021, 04:27 PM   #38
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Old 04-16-2021, 04:50 PM   #39
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Originally Posted by AdolfOliverBush View Post
Reparations? Sure. Just prove the alleged "apple eating" actually happened first.
I wouldnt make any plans for posting on here this weekend. I've reported you.
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Old 04-16-2021, 05:12 PM   #40
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Love the Babylon Bee !!

BTW, on a serious spiritual note, Adam is more guilty than Eve for not being the spiritual leader of the family as God the Father expects us men to be, for being passive with Eve not stopping her when he knew the consequences. And passivity from the man/husband/father is a major problem in the majority of families and especially the American family. See it everyday.
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i think my favorite post in the thread is me
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Old 04-16-2021, 05:30 PM   #41
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The last time a girl cried in my presence I got rid of her.
Which dumpster did you use? The one behind the Peach Tree Buffet on Eastwood is pretty good.
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Old 04-16-2021, 05:39 PM   #42
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Elenor Roosevelt

No. Woodrew Wilson's wife, who ran the country after his stroke. Whomever his vp was he has less balls than Mike Pence.
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Old 04-16-2021, 07:05 PM   #43
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Originally Posted by Chiefshrink View Post
Love the Babylon Bee !!

BTW, on a serious spiritual note, Adam is more guilty than Eve for not being the spiritual leader of the family as God the Father expects us men to be, for being passive with Eve not stopping her when he knew the consequences. And passivity from the man/husband/father is a major problem in the majority of families and especially the American family. See it everyday.
Hangry is some scary shit. Don't blame Adam.
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Old 04-16-2021, 07:33 PM   #44
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No. Woodrew Wilson's wife, who ran the country after his stroke. Whomever his vp was he has less balls than Mike Pence.
Yep! Edith Wilson was the de facto President for almost 2 years. Drunk History had a pretty good segment on it.

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Old 04-16-2021, 08:06 PM   #45
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Elenor Roosevelt
My bad, didn't go all the way to the end before posting...

Wilson's wife ran the show when he got sick, also.
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Last edited by jallmon; 04-16-2021 at 08:08 PM.. Reason: Didn't realize it was a Q
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