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12-20-2019, 12:07 AM | #1 |
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How many ret-cons can you fit into one movie?
-A lot. Try to count them all. How many people/things "died" and came back to life in this movie? -A lot. Try to count them all. What the hell was Finn going to tell Rey? -Guess we'll never know. Lol at "Sith Finder" or whatever the hell they were called. -The unobtainium of the Star Wars universe I guess. Your eyes will roll to the back of your head so many times that your eye sockets will hurt. I mean, right at the opening crawl was my first eye-roll. I hope the hell that it turns out that they used baby Yoda to revive Palpatine or the Mandalorian story is going to be diminished in meaning. Speaking of Palpatine....why? how?...seriously HOW? they never tell us. (see the above comment). Who did he bang? His son decided not to go into the family business I take it? How did his super duper force lightning (after he took Kylo and Reys "life force" to fix himself) know to attack just the resistance ships and not the Sith ones? So many happy/lucky coincidences in this movie...oh, hey, it's Lando Calrissian at this random festival on this random planet in this random tank thing....oooh, here's Leia's light saber, she'd want you to have it, oh yeah, I forgot, Leia was trained by Luke in the past, we're just now telling you that...and she had a lightsaber....that wasn't pink because women are tough.....which leads me to.... I get the "me too" thing, but Christ, it is ruining TV and movies now. It's like strong male characters aren't allowed to exist anymore. Xwings are incredibly water-tight. Who needs a force ghost when you can have a "memory" of a non-force sensitive person that serves the same purpose. In the time since Return of the Jedi, Palpatine was able to find people to build a fleet of oh, let's call it 100 star destroyers, human crews to run them, and none of it got out? To anyone? Each of the star destroyers had your typical human crew in typical imperial-ish clothing, but in Palpatine's throne room, there is literally an arena with thousands of cloaked individuals in the seats....WTF? No Anakin Skywalker appearance...was a bit of letdown for me. It's sad when 3PO is one of the best parts of the movie. There is so much more, but I'm tired of typing. I'll end by saying that while this is pretty bad, it wasn't Last Jedi bad. JJ was fighting a losing battle because of the shit show that Rian Johnson left him with Last Jedi. They should have let him do all 3 movies....or the Russo Brothers. There was a LOT of fan-service, which was nice, and there were never any slow parts. It also set up a LOT of other spin-off stories that can be told if they choose to do so...But alas, the skywalker saga is over...until the next force sensitive person stumbles upon Luke and Leia's lightsabers (didn't get that part either).
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12-20-2019, 12:13 AM | #2 |
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I actually loved this scene. It made me tear up, because the look on Luke's face getting that X-Wing out of the water was glorious. Acting!
In fact, I wanted it in TLJ, although the force projection stuff was better in the end. TLJ is the best movie of the sequels because it subverts your expectations and gives us something ORIGINAL.
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12-20-2019, 01:19 AM | #3 | |
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Quote:
Rey’s summoning of the lightsaber in TFA is a close second.
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12-20-2019, 12:10 AM | #4 |
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The Palpatine grandbaby backstory was very rushed and hamfisted.
Just a bad idea to bring him back. Like how the **** did he have a son and not ensure that son or any of his offspring got beyond his control? HOW?!?! This would have been BEFORE HE DIED IN RETURN OF THE JEDI. Stupid. But you know, yay, McDiarmid! I enjoyed him. As much as I enjoy Megatron wrecking shit in Transformers.
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12-20-2019, 12:33 AM | #5 | |
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So true. Quote:
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12-20-2019, 12:42 AM | #6 |
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Brief thoughts:
1. Better than I expected but most certainly not on the level of the OT or Rogue One or even Solo. It felt more like Revenge of the Sith in that we knew what was going to happen, so it was just a matter of seeing it onscreen. If you're curious, see it or see it at a matinee. It's not awful and there are a ton of really great action scenes. That said, it did leave me a little "cold" for lack of a better word but I think that's because I don't really care about the characters like I did from the OT. In many ways, it felt like Fan Fiction, in that everything that people wanted to see were put on display and not in a subtle manner. While that can be cool at times, it just felt like "Oh, the fans want to see this! The fans want to see that! Let's just give them everything they asked for on Twitter!". 2.
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Now, on to the Retconning of VIII: 1.
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Last edited by DaneMcCloud; 12-20-2019 at 12:53 AM.. |
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12-20-2019, 12:50 AM | #7 |
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This trilogy ended on such a dumb, hamfisted note I am now compelled to read these:
Never have.
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12-20-2019, 01:06 AM | #8 |
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"it's like getting smacked in the face with a star wars cake"
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12-20-2019, 01:37 AM | #9 |
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now they are retconning kylo's turn in the comics which is....not bad altogether
it does kinda work well with him being a troubled young man/actually good at heart
i kinda wish we got TROS without all the palpatine garbage palpatine ruined this movie it should have been kylo ren coming to terms with who he really is and subverting the evils of the first order no OP Star Destroyers no incredibly convenient "the people's fleet" showing up to save the day shit, you could have had the resistance stealing first order star destroyers and shit you can really tell how lazy JJ was with this palpatine shit though "OH HEY HE'S BACK NO EXPLANATION NEEDED LET'S GO" so ****ing stupid
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12-20-2019, 01:51 AM | #10 | |
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LMFAO
Jar Jar Abrams is so stupid even his cool things are just plain dumbassed stupid Quote:
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12-20-2019, 01:52 AM | #11 | |
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Holy ****. Could you have picked a worse screenwriter.
Quote:
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12-20-2019, 01:59 AM | #12 |
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What a boring film. There were sparks of really bad ass scenes;make no mistake jj has SOME talent in film making, particularly cinematography and angles. He’s good at getting you emotional but that’s about it. What a rush contrived bullshit mess. They should have made it a two parter if anything. A lot of this film felt like it should’ve been in the last Jedi. I enjoyed bens story arc premise but not the way it was rushed or presented. The entire film felt rushed and it was two hours.
Honestly, they should’ve been ballsy and had Rey give in to the dark side and Ben actually save the galaxy and become the true chosen one. |
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12-20-2019, 02:03 AM | #13 |
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i know you guys hate TLJ
but i guarantee Rian could have written a far more satisfying ending to this trilogy and I know for sure he wouldn't have ****ing given us shots lifted straight from the end of ROTJ to cap it off look, Ewoks! JJ should be sued for plagiarism
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12-20-2019, 02:20 AM | #14 |
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12-20-2019, 06:32 AM | #15 |
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Spoiler!
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