Life Would you be in a zoo?

**Rain Man** · 10-14-2015, 06:09 PM

Hypothetical situation here.

Some nation that doesn't understand much about American culture wants to set up an "America" exhibit in their zoo, so that their citizens can see how an American lives.

In a random process, they select you as their top candidate, and you receive an unsolicited offer as follows:

1. You will live in a 2,000 square foot home with a 3,000 square foot yard.

2. On three sides, the home and yard will have a vertical 50-foot concrete wall that prevents you from leaving. Viewers can look down on you from the top.

3. The fourth side will be a large unbreakable window where viewers can see you.

4. Your home will not have a roof, and all rooms will be visible from the windows. In other words, you will have zero privacy.

5. A sliding cover will be placed over the top of the enclosure during inclement weather.

6. The zoo will be open 18 hours per day. There may be a night watchman wandering around during the other six.

7. You will have internet access, and will be allowed to order anything you like on the Internet.

8. You will be paid an annual salary, per the poll, and will receive free medical care from zoo staff.

9. It's a lifetime commitment. You will be there until you die.

10. You will get one month off each year from December 1 through December 31, in which you can leave your enclosure and go wherever you wish.

11. Zoo staff will maintain your enclosure, and of course you can order furniture and other decorative things on the Internet.

What is the minimum salary that you would require for this arrangement?

You may also assume that anyone currently living with you will join you by choice.

**Buehler445** · 10-14-2015, 06:16 PM

A bunch. And the zoo would have to be good with me spanking it frequently.

**Buehler445** · 10-14-2015, 06:16 PM

And it would have to be enough to order high quality hookers in.

Rasputin · 10-14-2015, 06:26 PM

That doesn't sound like a bad deal I just can't decide on my salary. I get held over and have to work 16 hour days all the time so it's like living at work. Getting that month off & do what ever you want & have interweb all the PS4 games you want to play I'd be down for it.

Rasputin · 10-14-2015, 06:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Buehler445

And it would have to be enough to order high quality hookers in.

Get Charley Sean in on it and get a discount. Plus all the blow you want.

Rasputin · 10-14-2015, 06:28 PM

Wouldn't it be fun to fling poo and people gawking at you.

**Rain Man** · 10-14-2015, 06:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Buehler445

A bunch. And the zoo would have to be good with me spanking it frequently.

Hey, they want to find out how Americans live. That's part of it.

Cheater5 · 10-14-2015, 06:49 PM

Phuk zoos. All of them.

**Rain Man** · 10-14-2015, 06:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by KC Tattoo

That doesn't sound like a bad deal I just can't decide on my salary. I get held over and have to work 16 hour days all the time so it's like living at work. Getting that month off & do what ever you want & have interweb all the PS4 games you want to play I'd be down for it.

If you seriously consider it, the money is almost irrelevant. You don't need long-term retirement money or savings in that scenario, at least not for shelter and health care. You really only need enough for food and stuff to keep you occupied, and of course your one-month vacation each year. Any more than that is kind of wasted, other than maybe leaving an inheritance to somebody.

So it almost becomes a question of trading your privacy (and I guess some social life) for an early and secure retirement. Because in retirement what are you going to do? You're going to sit in your house and find stuff to keep you busy, and maybe you'll go travel a month every year.

dred · 10-14-2015, 07:04 PM

Sounds a lot like a prison to me. No thanks.

Kman34 · 10-14-2015, 07:33 PM

The ritual pacing would wear out my carpet.....

**Bwana** · 10-14-2015, 07:46 PM

No amount of money would be worth it.

Rasputin · 10-14-2015, 07:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rain Man

If you seriously consider it, the money is almost irrelevant. You don't need long-term retirement money or savings in that scenario, at least not for shelter and health care. You really only need enough for food and stuff to keep you occupied, and of course your one-month vacation each year. Any more than that is kind of wasted, other than maybe leaving an inheritance to somebody.

So it almost becomes a question of trading your privacy (and I guess some social life) for an early and secure retirement. Because in retirement what are you going to do? You're going to sit in your house and find stuff to keep you busy, and maybe you'll go travel a month every year.

Can they put in a nice big pond and stock plenty of fish to catch? If so sign me up.

**Rain Man** · 10-14-2015, 07:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by KC Tattoo

Can they put in a nice big pond and stock plenty of fish to catch? If so sign me up.

I suspect they could arrange that. It would have to be a very small pond, though, because they need room for the howler monkey exhibit next door.

**Dave Lane** · 10-14-2015, 08:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rain Man

Hypothetical situation here.

Some nation that doesn't understand much about American culture wants to set up an "America" exhibit in their zoo, so that their citizens can see how an American lives.

In a random process, they select you as their top candidate, and you receive an unsolicited offer as follows:

1. You will live in a 2,000 square foot home with a 3,000 square foot yard.

2. On three sides, the home and yard will have a vertical 50-foot concrete wall that prevents you from leaving. Viewers can look down on you from the top.

3. The fourth side will be a large unbreakable window where viewers can see you.

4. Your home will not have a roof, and all rooms will be visible from the windows. In other words, you will have zero privacy.

5. A sliding cover will be placed over the top of the enclosure during inclement weather.

6. The zoo will be open 18 hours per day. There may be a night watchman wandering around during the other six.

7. You will have internet access, and will be allowed to order anything you like on the Internet.

8. You will be paid an annual salary, per the poll, and will receive free medical care from zoo staff.

9. It's a lifetime commitment. You will be there until you die.

10. You will get one month off each year from December 1 through December 31, in which you can leave your enclosure and go wherever you wish.

11. Zoo staff will maintain your enclosure, and of course you can order furniture and other decorative things on the Internet.

What is the minimum salary that you would require for this arrangement?

You may also assume that anyone currently living with you will join you by choice.

How dark are the skies there? Can I leave in June when the Milky Way is in its best position? I can possibly be more flexible in my salary demands with answers to these question. Also girl monkey visits allowed?

View Poll Results: The minimum annual salary to spend my life in a zoo would be ...
$0. I would do it for free. It sounds like a peaceful and carefree existence.	1	2.22%
$1 to $25,000. I'd need a little spending money, but I don't need to save for retirement.	0	0%
$25,001 to $50,000 - I'd want to maintain some sort of lifestyle.	1	2.22%
$50,001 to $100,000 - I'd want to live well.	1	2.22%
$100,001 to $150,000 - I'd make this count.	1	2.22%
$150,0001 to $250,000 - I'd want to leave some sort of legacy.	1	2.22%
$250,001 to $500,000 - You'd have to make it really worth my while.	2	4.44%
$500,001 to $1 million - I'd need to make up for a lot of stuff I'm missing.	3	6.67%
$1.01 million or more - It would have to be an offer I can't refuse.	4	8.89%
No amount of money would be worth it.	26	57.78%
I already live in a zoo.	3	6.67%
I am unable to comprehend such a situation. I think it's unconstitutional.	2	4.44%
Voters: 45. You may not vote on this poll

10-14-2015, 06:09 PM
Rain Man NFL's #1 Ermines Fan Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: My house Casino cash: $3308491 VARSITY	Would you be in a zoo? Hypothetical situation here. Some nation that doesn't understand much about American culture wants to set up an "America" exhibit in their zoo, so that their citizens can see how an American lives. In a random process, they select you as their top candidate, and you receive an unsolicited offer as follows: 1. You will live in a 2,000 square foot home with a 3,000 square foot yard. 2. On three sides, the home and yard will have a vertical 50-foot concrete wall that prevents you from leaving. Viewers can look down on you from the top. 3. The fourth side will be a large unbreakable window where viewers can see you. 4. Your home will not have a roof, and all rooms will be visible from the windows. In other words, you will have zero privacy. 5. A sliding cover will be placed over the top of the enclosure during inclement weather. 6. The zoo will be open 18 hours per day. There may be a night watchman wandering around during the other six. 7. You will have internet access, and will be allowed to order anything you like on the Internet. 8. You will be paid an annual salary, per the poll, and will receive free medical care from zoo staff. 9. It's a lifetime commitment. You will be there until you die. 10. You will get one month off each year from December 1 through December 31, in which you can leave your enclosure and go wherever you wish. 11. Zoo staff will maintain your enclosure, and of course you can order furniture and other decorative things on the Internet. What is the minimum salary that you would require for this arrangement? You may also assume that anyone currently living with you will join you by choice.
Posts: 141,433

10-14-2015, 06:16 PM	#2
Buehler445 Supporter Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: Scott City KS Casino cash: $2304734	A bunch. And the zoo would have to be good with me spanking it frequently.
Posts: 56,786

10-14-2015, 06:16 PM	#3
Buehler445 Supporter Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: Scott City KS Casino cash: $2304734	And it would have to be enough to order high quality hookers in.
Posts: 56,786

10-14-2015, 06:26 PM	#4
Rasputin Tip of the hat LIV Champs Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: ks Casino cash: $3465421	That doesn't sound like a bad deal I just can't decide on my salary. I get held over and have to work 16 hour days all the time so it's like living at work. Getting that month off & do what ever you want & have interweb all the PS4 games you want to play I'd be down for it.
Posts: 54,963

10-14-2015, 06:28 PM	#6
Rasputin Tip of the hat LIV Champs Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: ks Casino cash: $3465421	Wouldn't it be fun to fling poo and people gawking at you.
Posts: 54,963

10-14-2015, 06:49 PM	#8
Cheater5 Veteran Join Date: Jan 2009 Location: Folly Beach, SC Casino cash: $5097550	Phuk zoos. All of them.
Posts: 3,069

10-14-2015, 07:04 PM	#10
dred Where is your will to be weird Join Date: Oct 2004 Location: Blacksburg, Virginia Casino cash: $9120753	Sounds a lot like a prison to me. No thanks.
Posts: 660

10-14-2015, 07:33 PM	#11
Kman34 My Mamma Says Join Date: Jan 2014 Location: Glass Cage Of Emotion Casino cash: $1961786 VARSITY	The ritual pacing would wear out my carpet.....
Posts: 13,888

10-14-2015, 07:46 PM	#12
Bwana It's Five O'Clock Somewhere Join Date: Aug 2000 Location: Billings, Montana Casino cash: $2139533647	No amount of money would be worth it. __________________ Adventure is dangerous....but monotony can kill you.
Posts: 69,740