Chiefs Ten Things About Today's Game Week 17: KC 35 OAK 3 - Page 3

**gblowfish** · 08:21 PM

Ten Things About Today’s Game Week 17: Your AFC West Champ KC 35, Homeless Silver And Black Convicts 3

10. Congratulations to the Chiefs winning the AFC West for the third time in a row. That’s the first time this franchise has managed to do that. Congratulations to Patrick Mahomes who has thrown for 5,000 yards, 50 TDs and will probably be the NFL MVP. Congrats to Travis Kelce, who held the all time NFL record for tight end receiving in a season for about 20 minutes before he was bested by Kittles in San Francisco with 1377 yards (monster seasons by both guys). And congrats to Andy Reid for capturing the number one seed in the playoffs for KC for the first time in 21 years. KC ends up 12-4 and the four teams we lost to are all playoff bound; two from the AFC and two from the NFC. KC came in and took care of business at home to kick the shit out of a dysfunctional Faider outfit. So they got it done. Only lost one game at home to Phyllis, and did it all with essentially a rookie QB who got his first full tour of duty this year. And they did it losing last years leading rusher in the NFL after the bye week. All miraculous. That’s all great stuff and deserves celebration.

9. I was real sick earlier this winter. A few weeks ago I sold my seats to Big Red Chief here on the CP for this game. I’m doing better now. The weather today was acceptable for this time of year, but weeks ago, there was no way to tell. Mrs. B thought I should sit this one out. So instead, we went downtown and saw the Sunday Matinee of “The Book of Mormon” which was incredibly politically incorrect and hilarious.

Then a quick lunch at Ponak’s for chicken fajitas. The game was on in the bar and the first play I saw live was Dirty Dan’s pick. I watched the rest of the first half on my phone, then saw the whole second half in my living room.

8. I remember when Chuckie knocked us out of the playoffs at the end of the 1999 season, rubbing Rich Gannon in our faces. Nice to paste his sorry ass today. Faiders came out with four consecutive turnovers on their first four drives -that’s a Faiders all time futility record. Carr looked like dogshit. Two picks -one for a pick six and one a near pick six- and a strip sack fumble. Plus he was sacked three times. His QB rating was 60.8. By comparison, Chad Henne was 97.9.

7. I’m so glad we showed Oakland our Henne. They can kiss my lemony fresh Henne! KC scored TDs, and I’m glad they got Mahomes out so they couldn’t put a cheap shot on him. KC scored in every quarter, and scoring 35 is right at their season average. No field goal attempts, and only one KC punt.

6. The Williams Bros rushed for a combined 82 yards on 22 carries and had one TD. It’ll be nice to get Spencer Ware back for the playoff push. The D gave up an even 100 yards to Martin, but he also fumbled at a critical spot early in the game to flip momentum.

5. Mahomes has two impressive TD passes, and although they were both long burners, both balls were a bit under thrown.
View My Video
Luckily both Hill and Robinson adjusted to the passes and made the best of it. The unsportsmanlike penalty on Robinson was ticky-tack. All he did was back in the last ten yards and raise his hands. No Fun League strikes again.

4. KC’s defense actually showed up for once and pitched in with a TD (could have had two) which was refreshing. #35 Ward with the unpronounceable first name (let’s just call him Red Dreads) had a much better game against a much worse receiving corps. He had nine tackles, and Kendall Fuller led the team with 12 tackles. We really missed him last week. Houston showed up, as did Dee Ford, and Alan Bailey played a much better game. Sorenson actually had a good game for the first time this season. Kudos to all. Giving up only three points to an Oakland team that’s played better over the past three weeks is worth celebrating.

3. KC helped swing the balance on TOP in the second half, but Oakland still had the ball seven more minutes. Chiefs only had four penalties, and one was the BS call on the unsportsmanlike on Robinson’s TD. Raiders had no sacks, so our O-Line did a pretty good job. KC ended up averaging around seven and a half yards per play, and put up 409 total yards, and that’s with baring our Henne for half of the fourth quarter. Hope the Faiders have a lovely off season and can figure out where the Hell they’re going to play in 2019. That’s got to be a bit of a conundrum.

2. So the guys in the locker room are able to put on an AFC West Champs hat for the third year in a row. But those hats mean nothing. History has not been kind to this franchise in Arrowhead in January. We’ve lost to most of the AFC here over the years. We’ve lost multiple playoff games -soul crushing losses- to Denver and Indy. We’ve been screwed over by Pittsburgh. Casshole got bitch slapped by Ray Ray and the Ravens. Marcus Mariota completed a TD pass TO HIMSELF just last year and the Chiefs got shut out in the second half. Grandpa Bob couldn’t hold a 17 point lead. So the ghosts are everywhere waiting to be exorcized. We get two weeks to heal. So please Andy, bring in a Snake Waving Faith Healer and have him lay hands on the feet of Eric Berry and Sammy Watkins. Have him put his hand on Spencer Ware’s shoulder. Have him grab Chris Jones’ groin just to be safe. I don’t know who we’ll be scheming for, but for GOD SAKE, please, a playoff win at Arrowhead. I just need some progress, man.

1. We’ve got two weeks to hash out all the fears about the defense, and who’s going to be the best or worst opponents. Look, it’s a new season and any team left in the big dance can beat any other team at this point. Gordon got hurt in the Chargers game today. I’d personally like to see Phyllis back here and get some revenge on his whiny ass. He’s 1-9 in his last ten games against us, so I like our odds against him a lot. I’d also like some payback on the Colts. But whoever we get, there will be demons to cast off. So whatever you do, as Hedley Lamarr once said “Go Do That Voodoo That You Do So Well!’

SEE YOU AT THE YARD IN TWO WEEKS, Y’ALL!

stumppy · 12-30-2018, 09:03 PM

All that and a nod to Blazing Saddles.

GloryDayz · 12-30-2018, 09:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by InChiefsHell

Awesome way to end the season, an ass kicking of your division rival to win the division and HFA. Defense was out of their minds today as far as turnovers, but they will more than likely struggle against an actual offense as opposed to the shitty Raiders. In other words, we did what we should have done today...which was nice and refreshing.

I really hope they can game plan well and get that elusive home playoff win. It's been a helluva season regardless. Go Chiefs! Thanks for the write up and glad you are feeling better. Rock on!

Yep...

otherstar · 12-30-2018, 09:11 PM

Freaking sweet write up! (and apropos that you saw the "Book of Mormon" since Coach Reid is a Latter Day Saint

Spott · 12-30-2018, 09:13 PM

Great as usual George. For #3, I’m hoping the Raiders get stuck in St Louis next year so we can get an extra home game out of it.

**Rain Man** · 12-30-2018, 09:39 PM

First off, this may be the last time I say it for a long time, so here goes. Thanks for the win, Oakland.

On a more tactical note, there were sure some interesting plays today.

The premature snap to Patrick Mahomes II was sure unusual. Usually that's a major problem, but the center shot the ball right into the crook of Patrick Mahomes II's elbow, and he snagged it without even knowing it. Patrick Mahomes II is great even when he's not looking.

The Sorensen interception was the one of the weirdest plays I've seen in a long time. I don't blame Carr for that one. It was totally on Jared Cook. And it was a great play by Sorensen to stay on the play when his guy stopped.

On the other Sorensen play, I'm pretty sure that should have been a fumble and a turnover. Great play by Dan that the refs didn't reward.

I feel like it's been a while since I've seen a Patomic bomb, so it was nice to get two of them tonight.

The Tyreek/Robinson choir boy celebration made me guffaw in a crowded restaurant. That was a fantastic way to troll the officials in a way that won't ever draw a penalty. They should do that on every touchdown for the rest of the playoffs. (Plus, it would solve that other problem. You know, the penalty thing.)

It's a bummer that Chris Jones didn't get a sack today, but I hope he'll make up ground in the playoffs.

Hammock Parties · 12-30-2018, 09:49 PM

Niemann got snaps?

TLO · 12-30-2018, 10:06 PM

Great read as always.

Thanks

**Rain Man** · 12-30-2018, 10:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hammock Parties

Niemann got snaps?

Ragland went out for a while, so either Niemann or O'Daniel must've been replacing him. I tried to look but could never see who it was.

kc rush · 12-30-2018, 10:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hammock Parties

Niemann got snaps?

When Ragland went out injured right before the half.

Prison Bitch · 12-30-2018, 10:28 PM

Didn’t watch the whole game?

You can’t afford DVR?

EPodolak · 12-30-2018, 10:31 PM

Rep to Sorenson putting Carr right inside a spooky Mormon hell dream.

stevieray · 12-30-2018, 10:33 PM

Thank you.

TwistedChief · 12-30-2018, 10:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Prison Bitch

Didn’t watch the whole game?

You can’t afford DVR?

GFY. You did this last time with the refrigerator. How many cold December Chiefs games have you been to in your life? But cool that you prioritize streaming a feed and/or DVRing it.

Sassy Squatch · 12-30-2018, 10:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TwistedChief

GFY. You did this last time with the refrigerator. How many cold December Chiefs games have you been to in your life? But cool that you prioritize streaming a feed and/or DVRing it.

Prison Bitch has had a sore spot about Gblowfish ever since that preseason tickets at face value deal. Pretty ****ing funny, actually.

Naptown Chief · 12-30-2018, 10:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Prison Bitch

Didn’t watch the whole game?

You can’t afford DVR?

What a prick..

Can't afford to not say something stupid?

12-30-2018, 08:12 PM
gblowfish Be Kind To Your Pets Join Date: Jun 2002 Location: Glorious Independence, MO Casino cash: $17676178 VARSITY	Ten Things About Today's Game Week 17: KC 35 OAK 3 Ten Things About Today’s Game Week 17: Your AFC West Champ KC 35, Homeless Silver And Black Convicts 3 10. Congratulations to the Chiefs winning the AFC West for the third time in a row. That’s the first time this franchise has managed to do that. Congratulations to Patrick Mahomes who has thrown for 5,000 yards, 50 TDs and will probably be the NFL MVP. Congrats to Travis Kelce, who held the all time NFL record for tight end receiving in a season for about 20 minutes before he was bested by Kittles in San Francisco with 1377 yards (monster seasons by both guys). And congrats to Andy Reid for capturing the number one seed in the playoffs for KC for the first time in 21 years. KC ends up 12-4 and the four teams we lost to are all playoff bound; two from the AFC and two from the NFC. KC came in and took care of business at home to kick the shit out of a dysfunctional Faider outfit. So they got it done. Only lost one game at home to Phyllis, and did it all with essentially a rookie QB who got his first full tour of duty this year. And they did it losing last years leading rusher in the NFL after the bye week. All miraculous. That’s all great stuff and deserves celebration. 9. I was real sick earlier this winter. A few weeks ago I sold my seats to Big Red Chief here on the CP for this game. I’m doing better now. The weather today was acceptable for this time of year, but weeks ago, there was no way to tell. Mrs. B thought I should sit this one out. So instead, we went downtown and saw the Sunday Matinee of “The Book of Mormon” which was incredibly politically incorrect and hilarious. Then a quick lunch at Ponak’s for chicken fajitas. The game was on in the bar and the first play I saw live was Dirty Dan’s pick. I watched the rest of the first half on my phone, then saw the whole second half in my living room. 8. I remember when Chuckie knocked us out of the playoffs at the end of the 1999 season, rubbing Rich Gannon in our faces. Nice to paste his sorry ass today. Faiders came out with four consecutive turnovers on their first four drives -that’s a Faiders all time futility record. Carr looked like dogshit. Two picks -one for a pick six and one a near pick six- and a strip sack fumble. Plus he was sacked three times. His QB rating was 60.8. By comparison, Chad Henne was 97.9. 7. I’m so glad we showed Oakland our Henne. They can kiss my lemony fresh Henne! KC scored TDs, and I’m glad they got Mahomes out so they couldn’t put a cheap shot on him. KC scored in every quarter, and scoring 35 is right at their season average. No field goal attempts, and only one KC punt. 6. The Williams Bros rushed for a combined 82 yards on 22 carries and had one TD. It’ll be nice to get Spencer Ware back for the playoff push. The D gave up an even 100 yards to Martin, but he also fumbled at a critical spot early in the game to flip momentum. 5. Mahomes has two impressive TD passes, and although they were both long burners, both balls were a bit under thrown. View My Video Luckily both Hill and Robinson adjusted to the passes and made the best of it. The unsportsmanlike penalty on Robinson was ticky-tack. All he did was back in the last ten yards and raise his hands. No Fun League strikes again. 4. KC’s defense actually showed up for once and pitched in with a TD (could have had two) which was refreshing. #35 Ward with the unpronounceable first name (let’s just call him Red Dreads) had a much better game against a much worse receiving corps. He had nine tackles, and Kendall Fuller led the team with 12 tackles. We really missed him last week. Houston showed up, as did Dee Ford, and Alan Bailey played a much better game. Sorenson actually had a good game for the first time this season. Kudos to all. Giving up only three points to an Oakland team that’s played better over the past three weeks is worth celebrating. 3. KC helped swing the balance on TOP in the second half, but Oakland still had the ball seven more minutes. Chiefs only had four penalties, and one was the BS call on the unsportsmanlike on Robinson’s TD. Raiders had no sacks, so our O-Line did a pretty good job. KC ended up averaging around seven and a half yards per play, and put up 409 total yards, and that’s with baring our Henne for half of the fourth quarter. Hope the Faiders have a lovely off season and can figure out where the Hell they’re going to play in 2019. That’s got to be a bit of a conundrum. 2. So the guys in the locker room are able to put on an AFC West Champs hat for the third year in a row. But those hats mean nothing. History has not been kind to this franchise in Arrowhead in January. We’ve lost to most of the AFC here over the years. We’ve lost multiple playoff games -soul crushing losses- to Denver and Indy. We’ve been screwed over by Pittsburgh. Casshole got bitch slapped by Ray Ray and the Ravens. Marcus Mariota completed a TD pass TO HIMSELF just last year and the Chiefs got shut out in the second half. Grandpa Bob couldn’t hold a 17 point lead. So the ghosts are everywhere waiting to be exorcized. We get two weeks to heal. So please Andy, bring in a Snake Waving Faith Healer and have him lay hands on the feet of Eric Berry and Sammy Watkins. Have him put his hand on Spencer Ware’s shoulder. Have him grab Chris Jones’ groin just to be safe. I don’t know who we’ll be scheming for, but for GOD SAKE, please, a playoff win at Arrowhead. I just need some progress, man. 1. We’ve got two weeks to hash out all the fears about the defense, and who’s going to be the best or worst opponents. Look, it’s a new season and any team left in the big dance can beat any other team at this point. Gordon got hurt in the Chargers game today. I’d personally like to see Phyllis back here and get some revenge on his whiny ass. He’s 1-9 in his last ten games against us, so I like our odds against him a lot. I’d also like some payback on the Colts. But whoever we get, there will be demons to cast off. So whatever you do, as Hedley Lamarr once said “Go Do That Voodoo That You Do So Well!’ SEE YOU AT THE YARD IN TWO WEEKS, Y’ALL! Last edited by gblowfish; 12-30-2018 at 08:21 PM..
Posts: 40,832

12-30-2018, 09:03 PM	#31
stumppy New and Improved Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: Springfield, Mo. Casino cash: $1488590	All that and a nod to Blazing Saddles. __________________ “As a nation, we can endure damaging policies for a four-year term. But we cannot survive a president willing to terminate our Constitution”
Posts: 21,106

12-30-2018, 09:11 PM	#33
otherstar Veteran Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: Houston, TX area Casino cash: $8422083	Freaking sweet write up! (and apropos that you saw the "Book of Mormon" since Coach Reid is a Latter Day Saint
Posts: 1,568

12-30-2018, 09:13 PM	#34
Spott Court Jester Join Date: Aug 2000 Location: Orlando Casino cash: $3082400	Great as usual George. For #3, I’m hoping the Raiders get stuck in St Louis next year so we can get an extra home game out of it.
Posts: 19,706

12-30-2018, 09:39 PM	#35
Rain Man NFL's #1 Ermines Fan Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: My house Casino cash: $3318491 VARSITY	First off, this may be the last time I say it for a long time, so here goes. Thanks for the win, Oakland. On a more tactical note, there were sure some interesting plays today. The premature snap to Patrick Mahomes II was sure unusual. Usually that's a major problem, but the center shot the ball right into the crook of Patrick Mahomes II's elbow, and he snagged it without even knowing it. Patrick Mahomes II is great even when he's not looking. The Sorensen interception was the one of the weirdest plays I've seen in a long time. I don't blame Carr for that one. It was totally on Jared Cook. And it was a great play by Sorensen to stay on the play when his guy stopped. On the other Sorensen play, I'm pretty sure that should have been a fumble and a turnover. Great play by Dan that the refs didn't reward. I feel like it's been a while since I've seen a Patomic bomb, so it was nice to get two of them tonight. The Tyreek/Robinson choir boy celebration made me guffaw in a crowded restaurant. That was a fantastic way to troll the officials in a way that won't ever draw a penalty. They should do that on every touchdown for the rest of the playoffs. (Plus, it would solve that other problem. You know, the penalty thing.) It's a bummer that Chris Jones didn't get a sack today, but I hope he'll make up ground in the playoffs. __________________ I'm putting random letters here as a celebration of free speech: xigrakgrah misorojeq rkemeseit.
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12-30-2018, 09:49 PM	#36
Hammock Parties I'll be back. Join Date: Nov 2002 Casino cash: $4710478	Niemann got snaps? __________________ Chiefs game films
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12-30-2018, 10:06 PM	#37
TLO Life is changing.. Join Date: Jul 2012 Location: NW Missouri Casino cash: $1914900	Great read as always. Thanks
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12-30-2018, 10:28 PM	#40
Prison Bitch Rabbi Goldmann Join Date: Nov 2012 Casino cash: $5450159	Didn’t watch the whole game? You can’t afford DVR?
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12-30-2018, 10:31 PM	#41
EPodolak Spooky Action Join Date: Dec 2003 Casino cash: $2642558	Rep to Sorenson putting Carr right inside a spooky Mormon hell dream.
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12-30-2018, 10:33 PM	#42
stevieray best in the biz Join Date: Aug 2000 Location: Under Pressure Casino cash: $2585273	Thank you.
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