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Old 08-07-2020, 06:23 PM  
crayzkirk crayzkirk is offline
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Rebuilding Trust in Friends
I'm having difficulty rebuilding trust in an old 'friend'. We grew up together and there were lots of good times. We shared an apartment and he never paid for any bills. I let him move in with me again because, as he stated, he would be around and could pay me back. I found him stealing from me and never got a cent from him. I kicked him out and moved his stuff into the front yard.

So, about 25 years after this, I hear from him and he wants to see me. I'm a little skeptical however I agree. He says that he wants to make amends and wants to know how much he owes me; I tell him whatever he thinks is fair. I don't hear from him for another 5 or so years. We have gotten together a couple of times, talking about the old days, etc. and I enjoyed it.

I asked about getting some CBD for my tremors and he said that his son could get me a deal; could save me $80. My response was that I wasn't going to get into any sort of financial transactions with him. He gets indignant and says he's tired of the bullshit and should just cut me a check.

Burn me once, shame on you. Burn me twice, shame on me. Burn me thrice?

We're both 62; life is short. I've never had a 'friend' treat me this way. There's part of me that wants to figure out how to fix things and there's another part that says run way.

How do you rebuild trust once it's damaged?
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Old 08-07-2020, 08:15 PM   #16
Easy 6 Easy 6 is offline
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Quote:
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I pretty much made my decision at "I found him stealing from me"
.
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Old 08-07-2020, 09:30 PM   #17
Dayze Dayze is offline
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Life is short
**** em. not,literally of course.


Once a scammer , always a scammer. Earn trust in drops, and lose it in bucket fulls . Don’t need that shit in your life.

Dude sounds like a lifetime achievement scum bag.
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Old 08-07-2020, 09:32 PM   #18
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Old 08-07-2020, 09:43 PM   #19
scho63 scho63 is offline
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Why was he stealing from you? Just a thief or drug addict or degenerative gambler?

Has he come forward with a check? IF and it's a big IF, he ever repays you then you can let your guard down.

Sounds to me like he is setting you up to steal from you again in some way.
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Old 08-08-2020, 05:35 AM   #20
crayzkirk crayzkirk is offline
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Why was he stealing from you? Just a thief or drug addict or degenerative gambler?

Has he come forward with a check? IF and it's a big IF, he ever repays you then you can let your guard down.

Sounds to me like he is setting you up to steal from you again in some way.
He would pay for bowling in change, I had a big jar of change in my bedroom. I started to notice the level was dropping.

No check. He indicated that he wanted to make amends and that was the reason that I agreed to see him. He throws it in my face when I mention it.

This is the biggest issue; when I'm around him, I'm uncomfortable because I'm trying to figure out what his angle is this time. I feel like I'm Archer and he's Conway Stern... waiting to get stabbed in the back.
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Old 08-08-2020, 06:44 AM   #21
neech neech is offline
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Steer clear
This.

And I don't want to hear your tales of woe if you buddy up with him, go tell the bartender.
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Old 08-08-2020, 07:22 AM   #22
scho63 scho63 is offline
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Originally Posted by crayzkirk View Post
He would pay for bowling in change, I had a big jar of change in my bedroom. I started to notice the level was dropping.
So he basically Nickel and Dimed you to death.
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Old 08-08-2020, 07:23 AM   #23
F150 F150 is offline
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You find out how thin the support is from "friends" when they turn on you and walk away. Real friends dont judge or make friendship conditional.
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Old 08-08-2020, 07:23 AM   #24
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I get that you grew up together and there is a level of unconditional love that comes with that, but you’re getting too old for this shit. Everything you’ve told us paints a picture of a guy who has used you at every opportunity. Now he hears you use CBD so of course he wants to sell you some. Hit eject.
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Old 08-08-2020, 07:32 AM   #25
SuperBowl4 SuperBowl4 is online now
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you need to move on and stop living in the past
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Old 08-08-2020, 09:38 AM   #26
cwhocares cwhocares is offline
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My sister screwed my over several time through 50 years. It's family and you want to help. Loaned her money, helped her move several times After mother died we found out that a lot of mom's medication was missing. Nothing but drama and turmoil ever since she was in school. Way to much to mention. A few years back I decided to cut all ties with her. Best thing I ever did. Now, that's what I would do to family. I would never tolerate that from someone that is suppose to be my friend. I don't need a frien that bad.

Dad once said that if you loan someone $50.00 and you never see that person again, it was probably money well spent.
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Old 08-08-2020, 10:01 AM   #27
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Life has taught me "no good deed goes unpunished". It's up to your buddy to make amends as has been said. If he doesn't value your friendship, why should you?
This.

Also called "Being beaten for your kindness."
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Old 08-08-2020, 10:06 AM   #28
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With that pattern of behavior? Meh. Friends don't do that kind of thing. It sounds like you're feeling guilty for nostalgic reasons. Let it go. You don't need that in your life. He's not going to change.
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Old 08-08-2020, 08:13 PM   #29
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Wise old owl, how many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop?
Unfortunately, I'm a biter. It's a label that has followed me since childhood.
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Old 08-08-2020, 08:21 PM   #30
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Not to be rude or harsh but **** that guy
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