Anyone ever experience burnout?

[PHOG]

yes

[Demonpenz]

I call my time spent in the phyche ward pto

[TripleThreat]

Originally Posted by Mecca

I feel like I'm there, I was there before Covid and feel like it's worse now. I legit have no motivation to do anything and I know I'm pessimistic and not fun to be around for the most part. If anyone wants further stuff I can deep dive but I need some advice because I feel like I'm stuck in the wallow not to escape.

Hi ��

You’re not alone. I’ll give you two examples. First is gaming. I’m 28. Not sure if you game a lot but for me, when I do and play the same games over and over again I become so tired and bored of them I literally just find 0 happiness from playing games, even though it’s above and beyond my favorite hobby. Sometimes when I take some time away from the games I find myself coming back and enjoying them, but I’ve found I don’t receive that same gratification and happiness that I once did/found. I may be getting older and changing and it may be the same for you as well.

Second - my real life. I have a wife and a child. Sometimes I feel like I’m so burnout from the same day to day activities that require my attention and workload. When I’m asked to do things or when I want to do things, I feel tired and lazy to want to do them in the first place. What I’ve found helps me is being selfish with my time in these moments. When I’m super tired and drawn out, I pour up a nice glass of something hard and rent a few movies. When yard work or something of similar substance requires my attention and I cannot deal with it, I take a step back, pour another drink and think about projects in the future I will want to work on after these projects I’m dreading are done.

“My most important Opinion” Between u and I OP, I used to even be burnt out from my family. My own child and wife, can you believe that? I took the steps that my personal self needed to figure out what I truly wanted in life and I found it. I now cherish my wife and child. I even want a bunch more children! I stopped looking at the girls on the beaches with the fine body’s and whatever else, and appreciated that this woman was willing to spend her life with me, and my child looks up to me as if I’m god. It made me so happy to feel that appreciated even though 90% of the time I never see it because of what I am requested and required to do in my daily life.

I don’t know your age, nor your circumstances so it does make it difficult to give you the best advice possible ( and I have many friends that come to me for it) but one thing I live by is, never be the glass is always half empty kinda guy, always be the glass is half full and that’s ok guy. People want to be around you more, you love yourself more, and things just start to gravitate to you more and that burning out feeling you’re feeling starts to fade away.

We all burn out from time to time, it’s completely normal, you’re not alone in that regard nor are your loved ones, or surrounding citizens. Just remember, life is what you make of it. If your feeling burned out about something in particular or just in general, find out why. Does this make me happy or sad? Whatever the answer is take the necessary steps to steer that answer into the resolution you would desire.

If you have any questions about how to keep your spirits up, please feel free to ask. My wife was raised and brought up to constantly question everything, ridicule everything, and to put it bluntly, unjoyful to be around. After many talks and discussions she learned to enjoy the little things and focus on the good, and not the bad, and That’s what I think is most important. Are you burnt out? Ok that’s ok! What do you feel like doing instead now? Take up a new hobby? re connect with loved ones? Take up cooking from YouTube? Life is about celebration, we all get burnt out from routine!

I hope this helps, I’m on my phone and damn is it hard to properly type on this thing. God bless brother, or sister?

[Buehler445]

Real Talk, if you have a true chemical imbalance causing clinical depression nothing will help. Problem is getting a good faith diagnosis without throwing pills at you (which could have dangerous effects on your mental condition) is difficult. I’d recommend most everything in this thread before seeking medication. And if you do seek medication, do your best to go to the most reputable practitioner you can find.

I’ll share my experience but it probably isn’t like yours. I’m probably just a freak.

My life got better when I started my business. I’m a grinder, and when it became obvious my work situation wasn’t leading where I wanted to go (at least in the timeframe I felt appropriate - thanks 2008, ya ****). It was like a switch flipped and I was done. I’m not wired to **** off and not do anything, but I was doing the minimum to essentially avoid trouble.

Things got better when I went into business for myself. I work almost twice as many hours and my stress level is through the roof, but I’d rather grind for me than have a fairly cushy job for someone else. Now, I’m not entirely certain that’s totally healthy because I’ve become criminally pragmatic. If something can’t help me move towards my goal right now, get the **** out of here. I don’t deal in any abstracts, I don’t even do any intermediate-term planning because I can’t offset a myriad of unknowns so it’s pointless so get the **** out of here and let me go do something important.

That being said, starting a life-consuming business probably isn’t in the cards for most folks. There are a lot of things that work for me when the wheels come off, it’s just a matter of what caused the wheels to come off.

When I’m floundering, I find something doable and just hammer it out. Even if it’s tedious or a pain in the ass. Power through it and get something positive and tangible done. So you can see good things happen and it can get the ball moving. Jordan Pedersen’s book (I haven’t read it but Seen videos on the 12 steps - they’re sound. I recommend the book) suggests that the first thing you should do is make the bed. Similar concepts.

When I’m ground down to a nub, I gotta take some time for me. Most of the time it’s at night, hence the 1:30 post, but I have to find time to do something to unwind my brain (or whatever you need). It’s worth losing the sleep.

When I’m paddling in an river of shit, which is 2020, you have to mentally focus on what you can control and get to work. I have a tendency to focus on what’s happening to me rather than what I’m going to do.

I totally agree on exercise. I’m shit at it right now because the time isn’t there but endorphine release is real.

One thing I see in myself and other people is focus. It’s like the whole world got ADD since the widespread adoption of smartphones. It’s just too damned easy to just quickly chase down whatever pops in your head. Thing about it is those activities in most cases are neither productive or healthy. Too many people I know have lost the ability to sit down and focus on something. My view is that focus is like muscles. Some dudes have more than others, it can be dramatically improved through constant use, and can atrophy in periods of disuse. And here’s the thing. If I get spacey and can’t focus, that’s when I become miserable. Maybe it’s just some random ramblings by an asshole on the internet, but IMO if you spend all day attached to a device you’re going to be miserable.

Best of luck man. All the best.

[TripleThreat]

Originally Posted by Buehler445

Real Talk, if you have a true chemical imbalance causing clinical depression nothing will help. Problem is getting a good faith diagnosis without throwing pills at you (which could have dangerous effects on your mental condition) is difficult. I’d recommend most everything in this thread before seeking medication. And if you do seek medication, do your best to go to the most reputable practitioner you can find.

I’ll share my experience but it probably isn’t like yours. I’m probably just a freak.

My life got better when I started my business. I’m a grinder, and when it became obvious my work situation wasn’t leading where I wanted to go (at least in the timeframe I felt appropriate - thanks 2008, ya ****). It was like a switch flipped and I was done. I’m not wired to **** off and not do anything, but I was doing the minimum to essentially avoid trouble.

Things got better when I went into business for myself. I work almost twice as many hours and my stress level is through the roof, but I’d rather grind for me than have a fairly cushy job for someone else. Now, I’m not entirely certain that’s totally healthy because I’ve become criminally pragmatic. If something can’t help me move towards my goal right now, get the **** out of here. I don’t deal in any abstracts, I don’t even do any intermediate-term planning because I can’t offset a myriad of unknowns so it’s pointless so get the **** out of here and let me go do something important.

That being said, starting a life-consuming business probably isn’t in the cards for most folks. There are a lot of things that work for me when the wheels come off, it’s just a matter of what caused the wheels to come off.

When I’m floundering, I find something doable and just hammer it out. Even if it’s tedious or a pain in the ass. Power through it and get something positive and tangible done. So you can see good things happen and it can get the ball moving. Jordan Pedersen’s book (I haven’t read it but Seen videos on the 12 steps - they’re sound. I recommend the book) suggests that the first thing you should do is make the bed. Similar concepts.

When I’m ground down to a nub, I gotta take some time for me. Most of the time it’s at night, hence the 1:30 post, but I have to find time to do something to unwind my brain (or whatever you need). It’s worth losing the sleep.

When I’m paddling in an river of shit, which is 2020, you have to mentally focus on what you can control and get to work. I have a tendency to focus on what’s happening to me rather than what I’m going to do.

I totally agree on exercise. I’m shit at it right now because the time isn’t there but endorphine release is real.

One thing I see in myself and other people is focus. It’s like the whole world got ADD since the widespread adoption of smartphones. It’s just too damned easy to just quickly chase down whatever pops in your head. Thing about it is those activities in most cases are neither productive or healthy. Too many people I know have lost the ability to sit down and focus on something. My view is that focus is like muscles. Some dudes have more than others, it can be dramatically improved through constant use, and can atrophy in periods of disuse. And here’s the thing. If I get spacey and can’t focus, that’s when I become miserable. Maybe it’s just some random ramblings by an asshole on the internet, but IMO if you spend all day attached to a device you’re going to be miserable.

Best of luck man. All the best.

Good post, couldn’t agree more

[suzzer99]

I work in computer programming, which lends itself really well to working from home obviously. But I can tell we're all getting grumpy. They should force us all to take a week off or something. Go see some nature. I'd do it in a heartbeat but I plan to quit as soon as this is over, and I want to get paid out for all my unused vacation time.

[displacedinMN]

Originally Posted by suzzer99

I work in computer programming, which lends itself really well to working from home obviously. But I can tell we're all getting grumpy. They should force us all to take a week off or something. Go see some nature. I'd do it in a heartbeat but I plan to quit as soon as this is over, and I want to get paid out for all my unused vacation time.

Covid and riots are partly to blame. Less social interaction.
Curse this world.

[kcxiv]

yes, yesterday, i did a half hour on the heavy bag in my garage and it was 104 degrees outside, hotter in the garage! I was done after that. lol probably not what you mean! Also, ripped my bag gloves! They were put through hell though.

[BigBeauford]

One more thing. I know I talked about smoking pot, but I know I can go overboard with my vices. A week ago, I decided I'll try going sober from everything for two weeks. To help me with this, I started making a note about how I feel each day on our giant family calendar. Its been 8 days, and by day 2, I feel as good as I have in years, like a fog has been lifted. I feel sharper, and my sense of humor has come back. Sometimes we lie to ourselves about these crutches. I didnt think it was a big deal having a drink or two nearly every night, or smoking pot 4 days a week. Keeping track of my progress has been cathartic in a way I didn't think was possible, and I am far from a list making person, so maybe you should start a checklist of sorts.

[ThaVirus]

I've read that white men are at higher risk of dealing with depression and suicide. I'm guessing there's some cultural issues there that don't lend to us finding help when needed.

But I hope you do. Recognizing that there is a problem is a step in the right direction. I'd say exhaust every effort in finding a solution. What's life without happiness, ya know?

[Mecca]

Originally Posted by ThaVirus

I've read that white men are at higher risk of dealing with depression and suicide. I'm guessing there's some cultural issues there that don't lend to us finding help when needed.

But I hope you do. Recognizing that there is a problem is a step in the right direction. I'd say exhaust every effort in finding a solution. What's life without happiness, ya know?

I'm trying man, lots of good advice in here, aside from the fool that repped me to tell me that I'm depressed because I'm not a staunch conservative gave me a good laugh.

[DJ's left nut]

Originally Posted by Mecca

I'm trying man, lots of good advice in here, aside from the fool that repped me to tell me that I'm depressed because I'm not a staunch conservative gave me a good laugh.

I will say this - politics are the worst for these feelings.

Look - politics when they're in your favor is a nasty business. You can be winning in politics and it's still a gross, grueling process of selling your soul. Anybody that thinks there's a moral high ground in politics has never operated in them for any period of time.

So when you put any appreciable amount of your identity in a discipline that's gross when it's going WELL, let alone when it isn't...man, you're gonna be unhappy.

Politics were never supposed to take on this kind of influence in our lives. I mean you go through some of the Presidents we forget about and you realize that a lot of these dudes were just really unimpressive public servants who got the gig by happenstance. Because it wasn't an aspirational career pursuit. Because politics were never supposed to be this important.

Conservative or liberal - I firmly believe you cannot be happy if politics takes up any sizeable segment of your life. It is a miserable discipline writ large and makes for miserable outcomes.

Regardless of your ideology - you can't let politics take on an outsized role in your life. It'll make you a dick and it'll make you think everyone else is a dick as well.

[Mecca]

Originally Posted by DJ's left nut

I will say this - politics are the worst for these feelings.

Look - politics when they're in your favor is a nasty business. You can be winning in politics and it's still a gross, grueling process of selling your soul. Anybody that thinks there's a moral high ground in politics has never operated in them for any period of time.

So when you put any appreciable amount of your identity in a discipline that's gross when it's going WELL, let alone when it isn't...man, you're gonna be unhappy.

Politics were never supposed to take on this kind of influence in our lives. I mean you go through some of the Presidents we forget about and you realize that a lot of these dudes were just really unimpressive public servants who got the gig by happenstance. Because it wasn't an aspirational career pursuit. Because politics were never supposed to be this important.

Conservative or liberal - I firmly believe you cannot be happy if politics takes up any sizeable segment of your life. It is a miserable discipline writ large and makes for miserable outcomes.

Regardless of your ideology - you can't let politics take on an outsized role in your life. It'll make you a dick and it'll make you think everyone else is a dick as well.

It's why I laughed, I don't care enough about them for them to even matter in my everyday life, sometimes I like to venture over to DC to poke the bear for a laugh.

[BigBeauford]

Originally Posted by ThaVirus

I've read that white men are at higher risk of dealing with depression and suicide. I'm guessing there's some cultural issues there that don't lend to us finding help when needed.

But I hope you do. Recognizing that there is a problem is a step in the right direction. I'd say exhaust every effort in finding a solution. What's life without happiness, ya know?

I know this is probably WAY overgeneralizing but I've noticed a lot of white families don't have that same super close-nit extended family system like other ethnicites have (again this is probably a sterotype). I don't have someone in my family that I can call up if I'm having problems, I really just have to figure out my emotions and problems on my own.

[htismaqe]

Originally Posted by BigBeauford

I know this is probably WAY overgeneralizing but I've noticed a lot of white families don't have that same super close-nit extended family system like other ethnicites have (again this is probably a sterotype). I don't have someone in my family that I can call up if I'm having problems, I really just have to figure out my emotions and problems on my own.

It’s probably not too far off, depending on where you live. I know here in the rural upper midwest, we have pretty close-knit families. The youth group kids I had that suffered from depression and anxiety almost always came from broken homes - the ones that had strong extended families were much more stable.

We are designed to love and be loved. If that’s not there, we are going to have issues. It’s that simple.