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Old 07-30-2020, 03:21 PM   #1
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I feel like I'm there, I was there before Covid and feel like it's worse now. I legit have no motivation to do anything and I know I'm pessimistic and not fun to be around for the most part. If anyone wants further stuff I can deep dive but I need some advice because I feel like I'm stuck in the wallow not to escape.
Yup.

Heard a quote once that was essentially "The problem is that people get everything they were after and suddenly realize that their dreams were too small..."

And that one hit hard. Professionally I spent 10 years pursuing a role I got. Now I have it and I'm boooooored. And stuck - ain't anyplace else to go here. But I damn sure don't want to start over either because it's probably just gonna be a repeat of the same cycle.

30 didn't bother me because I was on track; was ticking all the boxes and growing and developing and moving forward. 40's gonna bring me to my knees. Why? Because I feel like the last 5 years have just been spinning my wheels. And with COVID and shit it's been doubly bad because it's hard to fend off fatalism. How hard I work/don't work is irrelevant if X or Y passes or if the country continues to tailspin.

I don't know what to tell you, man. I try to contextualize it as best I can (look; my life's pretty damn good and this is truly just finding things to bitch about), but I think it happens no matter how successful/unsuccessful some people are.

Some people prefer the hunt to the spoils. And they're just perpetually restless souls. I'm reading Grant right now and man, that's Grant through and through - guy was miserable when he was content. He drank because of successes as often as failures.

I think Tomahawk has the right of it - you've gotta just find something else to chase and force yourself to chase it. A skill/hobby seems like a start. Maybe just start forcing yourself into activity when you're doing otherwise sedentary activities (only watch TV or play video games when you're on a treadmill, for instance).

I think it's pretty common.
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Old 07-30-2020, 04:05 PM   #2
BigBeauford BigBeauford is offline
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Originally Posted by DJ's left nut View Post
Yup.

Heard a quote once that was essentially "The problem is that people get everything they were after and suddenly realize that their dreams were too small..."

And that one hit hard. Professionally I spent 10 years pursuing a role I got. Now I have it and I'm boooooored. And stuck - ain't anyplace else to go here. But I damn sure don't want to start over either because it's probably just gonna be a repeat of the same cycle.

30 didn't bother me because I was on track; was ticking all the boxes and growing and developing and moving forward. 40's gonna bring me to my knees. Why? Because I feel like the last 5 years have just been spinning my wheels. And with COVID and shit it's been doubly bad because it's hard to fend off fatalism. How hard I work/don't work is irrelevant if X or Y passes or if the country continues to tailspin.

I don't know what to tell you, man. I try to contextualize it as best I can (look; my life's pretty damn good and this is truly just finding things to bitch about), but I think it happens no matter how successful/unsuccessful some people are.

Some people prefer the hunt to the spoils. And they're just perpetually restless souls. I'm reading Grant right now and man, that's Grant through and through - guy was miserable when he was content. He drank because of successes as often as failures.

I think Tomahawk has the right of it - you've gotta just find something else to chase and force yourself to chase it. A skill/hobby seems like a start. Maybe just start forcing yourself into activity when you're doing otherwise sedentary activities (only watch TV or play video games when you're on a treadmill, for instance).

I think it's pretty common.
Wow has that quote hit me hard. I'm about to transition to my 4th job in roughly 6 years. I keep eyeballing the big salary increases, while hoping that I'll get a commensurate amount of challenge to go with it. What I'm finding is I come in, kick ass and climb the mountain, then after about a year, I am not challenged enough and want something more. I'm about to start working for the VA, so I hope I'll be satisfied with the job security, benefits, and serving veterans. Just a bit terrified of this constant wanderlust and how its going to bite me in the ass someday.

As for the OP, working out helps a ton, and a little pot to settle the mind has always helped. Just don't overdue it. Stick to the weekends.
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Old 07-30-2020, 04:22 PM   #3
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Wow has that quote hit me hard. I'm about to transition to my 4th job in roughly 6 years. I keep eyeballing the big salary increases, while hoping that I'll get a commensurate amount of challenge to go with it. What I'm finding is I come in, kick ass and climb the mountain, then after about a year, I am not challenged enough and want something more. I'm about to start working for the VA, so I hope I'll be satisfied with the job security, benefits, and serving veterans. Just a bit terrified of this constant wanderlust and how its going to bite me in the ass someday.

As for the OP, working out helps a ton, and a little pot to settle the mind has always helped. Just don't overdue it. Stick to the weekends.
Yeah - what worries the shit out of me is to think about it like a racing dog.

If the greyhound catches the rabbit, he'll never race again. He realizes it's just a stuffed rabbit - what's the !@#$ing point?

It's unnerving at times. For me it's now become a pursuit of enough liquidity to purchase a bunch of land and spend a couple decades building something for my kids and grandkids to have after me. But shit - now I'm paycheck collecting and pursuing as much wealth as I can to make that possible. And that's no better. Moreover, it's a 20 year pursuit and things that far in the distance don't provide the near-term gratification to keep you sated.

It's a hard line to walk.
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Old 07-30-2020, 04:32 PM   #4
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Originally Posted by DJ's left nut View Post
Yup.

Heard a quote once that was essentially "The problem is that people get everything they were after and suddenly realize that their dreams were too small..."

And that one hit hard. Professionally I spent 10 years pursuing a role I got. Now I have it and I'm boooooored. And stuck - ain't anyplace else to go here. But I damn sure don't want to start over either because it's probably just gonna be a repeat of the same cycle.

30 didn't bother me because I was on track; was ticking all the boxes and growing and developing and moving forward. 40's gonna bring me to my knees. Why? Because I feel like the last 5 years have just been spinning my wheels. And with COVID and shit it's been doubly bad because it's hard to fend off fatalism. How hard I work/don't work is irrelevant if X or Y passes or if the country continues to tailspin.

I don't know what to tell you, man. I try to contextualize it as best I can (look; my life's pretty damn good and this is truly just finding things to bitch about), but I think it happens no matter how successful/unsuccessful some people are.

Some people prefer the hunt to the spoils. And they're just perpetually restless souls. I'm reading Grant right now and man, that's Grant through and through - guy was miserable when he was content. He drank because of successes as often as failures.

I think Tomahawk has the right of it - you've gotta just find something else to chase and force yourself to chase it. A skill/hobby seems like a start. Maybe just start forcing yourself into activity when you're doing otherwise sedentary activities (only watch TV or play video games when you're on a treadmill, for instance).

I think it's pretty common.
A great quote that many motivational speakers use. And as truthful as the day is long.

Just after my youngest graduated from HS and headed out into the world, this was my experience. Landed the job, with a great boss and salary demands were met. Beyond my expectations.

Had the house, cars that we needed (was never big on a car payment) and from the outside, it all was there.

Week one: I was already looking for another position. Didn't even know why. But just had to go.

This type of thing went on for the better part of a decade. It wasn't until 10 years ago that I realized I didn't need something new. But we are so programmed that way. It's pretty common to ask a person "What do you do"? (as a career) and that is what we use to define them as well as ourselves.

That changed for me when I became a servant leader of sorts and volunteered in a place where there was true need. It was then that it hit me that "I'm okay, but maybe these folks could use a hand. A friend. An ear to listen. They didn't care what I did for a living. they were glad I was there and present.

It changed my life. Even through the angst of COVID, I've only had moments of angst. I'm still doing what makes me happy and still trying to volunteer to help others who have real needs. Needs that are much greater than mine.

So, Mecca;

It's probably not the solution for everybody. But when you see the people who have real needs, needs far greater than your own... well, it set my mind right. And now I feel as good as I've felt in my life.
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Old 07-30-2020, 04:38 PM   #5
DJ's left nut DJ's left nut is offline
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That changed for me when I became a servant leader of sorts and volunteered in a place where there was true need. It was then that it hit me that "I'm okay, but maybe these folks could use a hand. A friend. An ear to listen. They didn't care what I did for a living. they were glad I was there and present.

It changed my life. Even through the angst of COVID, I've only had moments of angst. I'm still doing what makes me happy and still trying to volunteer to help others who have real needs. Needs that are much greater than mine.

So, Mecca;

It's probably not the solution for everybody. But when you see the people who have real needs, needs far greater than your own... well, it set my mind right. And now I feel as good as I've felt in my life.
This is great advice - something I should definitely consider.

It provides a dual function. 1) It provides a purpose that can never truly be fully accomplished (there will ALWAYS be people in need) and 2) It demands you maintain perspective.

Fantastic insight, sir.
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Old 07-30-2020, 05:05 PM   #6
WilliamTheIrish WilliamTheIrish is offline
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This is great advice - something I should definitely consider.

It provides a dual function. 1) It provides a purpose that can never truly be fully accomplished (there will ALWAYS be people in need) and 2) It demands you maintain perspective.

Fantastic insight, sir.
While I wish I had started earlier in life, (I should have been reading stories to the kids at MY kids grade school), I think I could have fended off those "I have to...." demons.

And as I look back, what could possibly be more fun than being at your kids school, telling them the story of, say, Enos Slaughter's mad dash? Or Tom Lawless' HR and original bat flip? Or leading them in a terrible rendition of Take Me Out To The Ball Game"! on Opening Day? Nothing could be better.

It doesn't even have to be your kids class. Think of them, as a 7 year old, walking by in the hallway as you read "Where Will All The Animals GO"? to a group of kids? They'll sneak you a smile and remember you were the dad that came to school to read. (and believe you me, they'll remember that).

In your profession, it may be difficult, but imagine telling your partners in the firm, I'm out from 1000A to noon. I gotta go read to the kids". If anybody thought less of me for that, well. Too bad.

Heroes are made in simple ways.
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Old 07-31-2020, 08:19 PM   #7
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And as I look back, what could possibly be more fun than being at your kids school, telling them the story of, say, Enos Slaughter's mad dash? Or Tom Lawless' HR and original bat flip? Or leading them in a terrible rendition of Take Me Out To The Ball Game"! on Opening Day? Nothing could be better.
why don’t you discuss Cardinals baseball in the thread with us on here?
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Old 07-31-2020, 12:37 AM   #8
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Some people prefer the hunt to the spoils. And they're just perpetually restless souls. I'm reading Grant right now and man, that's Grant through and through - guy was miserable when he was content. He drank because of successes as often as failures.
I feel like Tony Bourdain fell into this category. He was fine when he was a broke head chef just trying to keep his head above water, maybe because he never had time to think. He worked 12-hour days - 6 days/week, drank and partied like a maniac, and still found time to write Kitchen Confidential. But then he got the all time dream job and couldn't find happiness to save his life.
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