Life Rebuilding Trust in Friends - Page 5

crayzkirk · 08-07-2020, 06:23 PM

I'm having difficulty rebuilding trust in an old 'friend'. We grew up together and there were lots of good times. We shared an apartment and he never paid for any bills. I let him move in with me again because, as he stated, he would be around and could pay me back. I found him stealing from me and never got a cent from him. I kicked him out and moved his stuff into the front yard.

So, about 25 years after this, I hear from him and he wants to see me. I'm a little skeptical however I agree. He says that he wants to make amends and wants to know how much he owes me; I tell him whatever he thinks is fair. I don't hear from him for another 5 or so years. We have gotten together a couple of times, talking about the old days, etc. and I enjoyed it.

I asked about getting some CBD for my tremors and he said that his son could get me a deal; could save me $80. My response was that I wasn't going to get into any sort of financial transactions with him. He gets indignant and says he's tired of the bullshit and should just cut me a check.

Burn me once, shame on you. Burn me twice, shame on me. Burn me thrice?

We're both 62; life is short. I've never had a 'friend' treat me this way. There's part of me that wants to figure out how to fix things and there's another part that says run way.

How do you rebuild trust once it's damaged?

Chiefshrink · 08-16-2020, 07:12 PM

My gut tells me crazykirk got massaged at the lake with a good time and to Rainman's point he will never see this phony again. But it is good that crazykirk is not bitter about it and that he is not a doormat any longer.

Chiefshrink · 08-16-2020, 07:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bearcat

That's one thing about takers, everything is in the future.

eDave · 08-16-2020, 07:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chiefshrink

My gut tells me crazykirk got massaged at the lake with a good time and to Rainman's point he will never see this phony again. But it is good that crazykirk is not bitter about it and that he is not a doormat any longer.

crayzkirk · 08-16-2020, 07:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chiefshrink

My gut tells me crazykirk got massaged at the lake with a good time and to Rainman's point he will never see this phony again. But it is good that crazykirk is not bitter about it and that he is not a doormat any longer.

Uh... no. I'm not that kind of guy. However, I do know that we are never too old to learn and that we really can change. And the jet ski was a blast. And broken. I helped him fix it. I can fix anything.

I was really hoping he would bring someone over as an appeasement. Alas, it was not to be.

He even did the dishes... He was a high end cook on the plaza in the 1980s. I have friends that come to my lake house and find ways to never to the dishes. I've know John since we were 9 years old. he's had his share of pain in his live as well. Maybe that's how I should choose to look at people and help me understand why we are all the way we are. Our experiences and generics. None of us can change it.

Chiefshrink · 08-16-2020, 07:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by eDave

LOL!! Pretty much !

But that's okay because crazykirk is not bitter any longer and is by far the bigger man here !!

Chiefshrink · 08-16-2020, 07:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by crayzkirk

Uh... no. I'm not that kind of guy. However, I do know that we are never too old to learn and that we really can change.

I agree you are never too old to learn and I should have said this guy attempted to massage another con on you but you resisted.

crayzkirk · 08-16-2020, 07:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chiefshrink

I agree you are never too old to learn and I should have said this guy attempted to massage another con on you but you resisted.

After looking at it, trying to save me $80 isn't really a con, is it? I was just holding on the the past hurt. he got the message and offered to make it good.

Does it really do us any harm to expect the best in people instead of the worst? I'm not going to go all DC because no one in government deserves our trust.

And the jet ski... I've never ridden one before and I explained what VTS was... Variable Trim System. Wow... 110hp jet ski with power trim. I lost about 50 IQ points when I got on it. What a blast!

crayzkirk · 08-31-2020, 07:09 AM

Update: First check of $1750 received. Will put in the bank tomorrow. We all grow and change through life and it's refreshing to see people want to make good on past mistakes.

htismaqe · 08-31-2020, 07:18 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by crayzkirk

Update: First check of $1750 received. Will put in the bank tomorrow. We all grow and change through life and it's refreshing to see people want to make good on past mistakes.

Not sure I would have taken any money from the guy. That's just me. I'd rather be owed than have a chance at somebody thinking I owe them.

08-07-2020, 06:23 PM
crayzkirk Veteran Join Date: Nov 2016 Casino cash: $3830000	Rebuilding Trust in Friends I'm having difficulty rebuilding trust in an old 'friend'. We grew up together and there were lots of good times. We shared an apartment and he never paid for any bills. I let him move in with me again because, as he stated, he would be around and could pay me back. I found him stealing from me and never got a cent from him. I kicked him out and moved his stuff into the front yard. So, about 25 years after this, I hear from him and he wants to see me. I'm a little skeptical however I agree. He says that he wants to make amends and wants to know how much he owes me; I tell him whatever he thinks is fair. I don't hear from him for another 5 or so years. We have gotten together a couple of times, talking about the old days, etc. and I enjoyed it. I asked about getting some CBD for my tremors and he said that his son could get me a deal; could save me $80. My response was that I wasn't going to get into any sort of financial transactions with him. He gets indignant and says he's tired of the bullshit and should just cut me a check. Burn me once, shame on you. Burn me twice, shame on me. Burn me thrice? We're both 62; life is short. I've never had a 'friend' treat me this way. There's part of me that wants to figure out how to fix things and there's another part that says run way. How do you rebuild trust once it's damaged?
Posts: 4,357

08-31-2020, 07:09 AM	#68
crayzkirk Veteran Join Date: Nov 2016 Casino cash: $3830000	Update: First check of $1750 received. Will put in the bank tomorrow. We all grow and change through life and it's refreshing to see people want to make good on past mistakes.
Posts: 4,357