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12-03-2020, 06:30 PM | #31 |
MVP
Join Date: Dec 2018
Casino cash: $4450400
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Every time you pick up my poop it's obvious who is in charge
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Posts: 7,355
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12-03-2020, 06:35 PM | #32 | |
Would an idiot do that?
Join Date: Nov 2000
Location: Arizona
Casino cash: $2684931
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Quote:
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Posts: 55,446
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12-03-2020, 07:17 PM | #33 |
Banned
Join Date: Jan 2013
Casino cash: $9998560
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"Dude, WTF?"
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Posts: 53,803
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12-03-2020, 09:31 PM | #34 | |
Bring it on Ahab!
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Doo-Dah
Casino cash: $10015152
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Quote:
Now he does, but he gave up opening the door a while ago, but he always pushes the door closed with me when he comes in. Noisiest dog too. Crazy variety of whines, squeals, barks, and grunts. I've told him to be quiet so much he knows exactly what quiet means. Plus they mean things. He practically already does talk. What would he ask me? 'Why are YOU eating steak and I'm eating this shit?' |
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Posts: 14,861
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12-04-2020, 04:09 AM | #35 |
Time For Your Wake Up Call !!!
Join Date: Oct 2000
Location: Barn Yard
Casino cash: $5559400
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Owner: Hey guess what, You got to be good because I'm taking you to this new doggie spa, they have plenty of rooms for doggy boarding. Dude, you get to meet other doggy dudes and some really cute doggy babes! ( Owner drops him off at the local Vet.) Two days later .........
Dog says to the owner: You sick, obscene, despicable, basturd . After you left me there to get pampered, this song came on the radio! It played over and over and over, it was frigg'n non stop. The people were nice, they were petting me, loving on me and then somehow I fell asleep. When I woke up from my nap, " my ****ing balls were gone ". Some sick bastard cut my nuts off! Like WTF, Ya know, This frigg'n hurts! Why did they do that! Are they planning on eating them? I ask because while I was here I herd some cows talking about losing their nuts! Song on the radio I used to be such a sweet, sweet thing 'Til they got a hold of me. I opened doors for little old ladies, I helped the blind to see. I got no friends 'cause they read the papers. They can't be seen with me and I'm gettin' real shot down And I'm feeling mean. No more Mister Nice Guy, No more Mister Clean, No more Mister Nice Guy, They say he's sick, he's obscene. I got no friends 'cause they read the papers. They can't be seen with me and I'm feelin' real shot down And I'm gettin' mean. No more Mister Nice Guy, No more Mister Clean, No more Mister Nice Guy, They say he's sick, he's obscene. My dog bit me on the leg today. My cat clawed my eyes. Ma's been thrown out of the social circle, And dad has to hide. I went to church incognito. When everybody rose, the Reverend Smith, He recognized me, And punched me in the nose, he said. No more Mister Nice Guy, No more Mister Clean, No more Mister Nice Guy, He said you're sick, you're obscene. No more Mister Nice Guy, No more Mister Clean, No more Mister Nice Guy, He said you're sick, you're obscene. Owner tells dog: We had to get you fixed! Dude, it's called being nueterd! Dog :And here I thought I got drunk, partied too much and just lost my balls! So lookey here you sick obscene bastard,! They showed me how to eat with the silverware. yep, and that includes knives! I know where you sleep every night you ruthless son of a bitch because I am No More Mr. Nice Guy!
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Our society is run by insane people for insane objectives. I think we're being run by maniacs for maniacal ends and I think I'm liable to be put away as insane for expressing that. That's what's insane about it.
John Lennon |
Posts: 37,001
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12-04-2020, 07:19 AM | #36 |
Veteran
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: DE
Casino cash: $9775019
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“An ew sop abbin’ my ung ackath”
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Posts: 3,810
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1 0 |
12-04-2020, 08:15 AM | #37 |
best in the biz
Join Date: Aug 2000
Location: Under Pressure
Casino cash: $2455273
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what? why? you let the cat get on the counter...
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Posts: 71,263
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