Star Wars Episode IX - SPOILER THREAD

[arrowheadnation]

How many ret-cons can you fit into one movie?
-A lot. Try to count them all.

How many people/things "died" and came back to life in this movie?
-A lot. Try to count them all.

What the hell was Finn going to tell Rey?
-Guess we'll never know.

Lol at "Sith Finder" or whatever the hell they were called.
-The unobtainium of the Star Wars universe I guess.

Your eyes will roll to the back of your head so many times that your eye sockets will hurt. I mean, right at the opening crawl was my first eye-roll.

I hope the hell that it turns out that they used baby Yoda to revive Palpatine or the Mandalorian story is going to be diminished in meaning.

Speaking of Palpatine....why? how?...seriously HOW? they never tell us. (see the above comment). Who did he bang? His son decided not to go into the family business I take it? How did his super duper force lightning (after he took Kylo and Reys "life force" to fix himself) know to attack just the resistance ships and not the Sith ones?

So many happy/lucky coincidences in this movie...oh, hey, it's Lando Calrissian at this random festival on this random planet in this random tank thing....oooh, here's Leia's light saber, she'd want you to have it, oh yeah, I forgot, Leia was trained by Luke in the past, we're just now telling you that...and she had a lightsaber....that wasn't pink because women are tough.....which leads me to....

I get the "me too" thing, but Christ, it is ruining TV and movies now. It's like strong male characters aren't allowed to exist anymore.

Xwings are incredibly water-tight.

Who needs a force ghost when you can have a "memory" of a non-force sensitive person that serves the same purpose.

In the time since Return of the Jedi, Palpatine was able to find people to build a fleet of oh, let's call it 100 star destroyers, human crews to run them, and none of it got out? To anyone?

Each of the star destroyers had your typical human crew in typical imperial-ish clothing, but in Palpatine's throne room, there is literally an arena with thousands of cloaked individuals in the seats....WTF?

No Anakin Skywalker appearance...was a bit of letdown for me.

It's sad when 3PO is one of the best parts of the movie.

There is so much more, but I'm tired of typing. I'll end by saying that while this is pretty bad, it wasn't Last Jedi bad. JJ was fighting a losing battle because of the shit show that Rian Johnson left him with Last Jedi. They should have let him do all 3 movies....or the Russo Brothers. There was a LOT of fan-service, which was nice, and there were never any slow parts. It also set up a LOT of other spin-off stories that can be told if they choose to do so...But alas, the skywalker saga is over...until the next force sensitive person stumbles upon Luke and Leia's lightsabers (didn't get that part either).

[Hammock Parties]

Originally Posted by arrowheadnation

Xwings are incredibly water-tight.

I actually loved this scene. It made me tear up, because the look on Luke's face getting that X-Wing out of the water was glorious. Acting!

In fact, I wanted it in TLJ, although the force projection stuff was better in the end.

TLJ is the best movie of the sequels because it subverts your expectations and gives us something ORIGINAL.

[Chiefspants]

Originally Posted by Hammock Parties

I actually loved this scene. It made me tear up, because the look on Luke's face getting that X-Wing out of the water was glorious. Acting!

In fact, I wanted it in TLJ, although the force projection stuff was better in the end.

TLJ is the best movie of the sequels because it subverts your expectations and gives us something ORIGINAL.

The conversation between Luke and Leia and the Force Projection scene were the most impactful of the new trilogy for me.

Rey’s summoning of the lightsaber in TFA is a close second.

Spoiler!

I still like Rey. Kylo was the best character in the new trilogy.

Perhaps they shouldn’t have made a last minute choice to change their entire script and keep Poe alive in Ep. 7. Because they sure couldn’t balance him and Finn in the script. John Boyega has to be disappointed he went from a main character to whatever he got reduced to - some of that may have shown in the movie.

Because of Kylo, I don’t really see any damage to Anakin’s character arc.

This movie needed to be Endgame length. It was a pacing nightmare. A lot of amazing fanboy moments between lull’s of rather uninteresting plotting - it felt like it was checking boxes half of the time.

Loved the Luke and Leia scene.

I really, really wish Disney had the billiards to have given Leia Holdo’s sacrifice in Ep. 8 and kept Luke alive after Carrie Fisher passed. Their were too many uncanny valley moments for my liking.

The fact that Kylo was controlled by Palpatine poops on Luke’s interactions with Kylo in TLJ.

I don’t know how I feel about Rey being a palpatine. It felt like a stunt to get people to the theater.

In the end, JJ tried his damndest to make Return of the Jedi despite Rian’s best attempts to prevent it.

[Hammock Parties]

The Palpatine grandbaby backstory was very rushed and hamfisted.

Just a bad idea to bring him back.

Like how the **** did he have a son and not ensure that son or any of his offspring got beyond his control?

HOW?!?!

This would have been BEFORE HE DIED IN RETURN OF THE JEDI.

Stupid.

But you know, yay, McDiarmid! I enjoyed him. As much as I enjoy Megatron wrecking shit in Transformers.

[Hammock Parties]

So true.

I feel like I just watched a five year old, high on laughing gas from the dentist, run around with his favorite action figures in a sandbox for 2 and a half hours...

[DaneMcCloud]

Brief thoughts:

1. Better than I expected but most certainly not on the level of the OT or Rogue One or even Solo. It felt more like Revenge of the Sith in that we knew what was going to happen, so it was just a matter of seeing it onscreen. If you're curious, see it or see it at a matinee. It's not awful and there are a ton of really great action scenes. That said, it did leave me a little "cold" for lack of a better word but I think that's because I don't really care about the characters like I did from the OT.

In many ways, it felt like Fan Fiction, in that everything that people wanted to see were put on display and not in a subtle manner. While that can be cool at times, it just felt like "Oh, the fans want to see this! The fans want to see that! Let's just give them everything they asked for on Twitter!".

2.

Spoiler!

Act I and halfway into Act II, I thought to myself "Wow, this is freaking awesome! How will they keep this up?" Answer: They didn't. (OTOH, my eleven year old thought that same section was "too fast" and liked the second half of the film much better because it slowed down).

3.

Spoiler!

Try as I might, I still don't have any connection to Finn, Poe & Rey. They're together for some of the film this time around and it just never really feels like "True" friends, "True" camaraderie, no matter how much the script tries to convince us.

4.

Spoiler!

So, as I suspected all along, Finn is Force-Sensitive. Maybe his character is the protagonist in the next film

5.

Spoiler!

Really disappointed in John Boyega's performance. He seemed very "wooden" and not nearly as natural as he was in TFA.

6.

Spoiler!

Leia was just short of an epic disaster. The VFX were easy to spot and her arc felt shoe-horned in to the overall plot

7.

Spoiler!

Maz Kanata, who was so interesting in the previous films was nothing more than "support" for Leia, or maybe better said, the "voice" of Leia since Carrie is gone

8.

Spoiler!

The overall plot and McGuffin felt like something straight out of the EU. I'm a sucker and read nearly every old EU book but they were pretty cheesy, outside of a few Zahn novels. But I did like that Snoke was clone and that the Emperor "died" many times before

9.

Spoiler!

The Force Dyad didn't bother me, nor did the Palpatine's death. I thought the Sith statues and the Sith followers could have been interesting but were woefully under-utilized.

10.

Spoiler!

I didn't even notice the score because there was so much happening onscreen the entire film

11.

Spoiler!

Zorri Bliss was a nice addition to the cast. I could see a cool TV series come her and Poe's adventures.

12.

Spoiler!

The Knights of Ren were garbage. They looked cool in TFA but in the sunlight, they looked like dopes with dopey helmets on. It's like Slipknot but instead of masks, it's dopey helmets

Now, on to the Retconning of VIII:

1.

Spoiler!

I like that Rey is a Palpatine. I know that JJ wanted her to be a Skywalker and RJ ruined that but this was the next best choice, IMO.
It explains the "Mary Sue" aspect of her powers.

2.

Spoiler!

The visuals were freaking amazing at times and while it's hard to top the Darth Maul vs. Obi Wan/Qui Gon fight, which for me is almost a virtual tie with Snoke's Throne room, the lightsaber duels were outright awesome. The Force powers displayed were super cool and it's about freaking time we saw Force Users that can kick ass in any given situation

3.

Spoiler!

The Holdo Manuever, which freaking KILLED me in TLJ because of it's blatant stupidity was made into a joke. I like that quite a bit

4.

Spoiler!

Very little Rose Tico was nice. She had WAY too much screen time in TLJ for my taste but she was barely noticeable in this film, which was nice

5.

Spoiler!

Snoke. This was probably the biggest retcon and yet it most visual in RoS. Seeing multiple Snoke bodies being cloned was pretty cool, although it begs the question as to why Snoke was so deformed?

6.

Spoiler!

Leia "Poppins": Well, as it turns out, Luke trained Leia when they were younger and she became a Jedi Master. Seeing her lightsaber was cool, too, but at least there's an explanation as to how she was able to survive being nearly frozen in space

7.

Spoiler!

Luke! Luke admitting that he was wrong to hide and that even though he'd found Exogal and planned to confront The Emperor, he was just too afraid. Jedi's are supposed to face their fears, not run from them.

[Hammock Parties]

This trilogy ended on such a dumb, hamfisted note I am now compelled to read these:



Never have.

[Hammock Parties]

"it's like getting smacked in the face with a star wars cake"

[Hammock Parties]

now they are retconning kylo's turn in the comics which is....not bad altogether

it does kinda work well with him being a troubled young man/actually good at heart

I realise this thread was all over the place but the comic is non-linear. Basically:
- Ben wakes up to see Luke, brings down the hut
- He stares into the distance and asks "why"; my heart breaks
- Starts walking towards the temple but it explodes before he gets there

— Skye #trosspoilers (@skyelo_ren) December 18, 2019

i kinda wish we got TROS without all the palpatine garbage

palpatine ruined this movie

it should have been kylo ren coming to terms with who he really is and subverting the evils of the first order

no OP Star Destroyers

no incredibly convenient "the people's fleet" showing up to save the day

shit, you could have had the resistance stealing first order star destroyers and shit

you can really tell how lazy JJ was with this palpatine shit though

"OH HEY HE'S BACK NO EXPLANATION NEEDED LET'S GO"

so ****ing stupid

[Hammock Parties]

LMFAO

Jar Jar Abrams is so stupid even his cool things are just plain dumbassed stupid

In a sacred moment of apex silliness, Resistance fighters ride starbeasts of burden across the surface of a low-flying Star Destroyer. If I understand gravity correctly, the evil pilots could defeat the rebel cavalry by just slightly dipping the ship’s port side.

[Hammock Parties]

Holy ****. Could you have picked a worse screenwriter.

Abrams co-wrote the screenplay with Chris Terrio, who also worked on on Batman v Superman and Justice League, poor guy.

[Sorry]

What a boring film. There were sparks of really bad ass scenes;make no mistake jj has SOME talent in film making, particularly cinematography and angles. He’s good at getting you emotional but that’s about it. What a rush contrived bullshit mess. They should have made it a two parter if anything. A lot of this film felt like it should’ve been in the last Jedi. I enjoyed bens story arc premise but not the way it was rushed or presented. The entire film felt rushed and it was two hours.

Honestly, they should’ve been ballsy and had Rey give in to the dark side and Ben actually save the galaxy and become the true chosen one.

[Hammock Parties]

i know you guys hate TLJ

but i guarantee Rian could have written a far more satisfying ending to this trilogy

and I know for sure he wouldn't have ****ing given us shots lifted straight from the end of ROTJ to cap it off

look, Ewoks!

JJ should be sued for plagiarism

[Hammock Parties]

[Sassy Squatch]

Spoiler!

So how did Anakin "bring balance to the force"? I know JJ and the movie try to insist that's still what happened, but the evil that Anakin supposedly destroyed is responsible for EVERYTHING. Ben Solo turning, sending Luke into a depressed exile, ruining Ham and Leias happy ending, creating a stronger version of his army, like, goddamn, this movie goes out of its way to absolutely SHIT all over everyone and everything that was ever associated with the name "Skywalker". When both the OT and the PT are primarily focused on that story it's a horrific idea. Should've been given 6 more months for everyone to come to their senses and realize what the **** they were about to do to their Canon.