Oral Sex Frequency - Page 12

**Rain Man** · 12-19-2014, 05:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Katipan

I tried humming once but it's not so sexy when it's the star spangled banner you're humming.

I don't know about that. Those high notes at the rockets' red glare are pretty likely to lead to bombs bursting in air.

Katipan · 12-19-2014, 05:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rain Man

I don't know about that. Those high notes at the rockets' red glare are pretty likely to lead to bombs bursting in air.

I hum like Barry White.

Dayze · 12-19-2014, 04:01 PM

I bet Donger refers to his wang as "The Oil Rig"

Kman34 · 12-19-2014, 04:05 PM

The wife asked me what I was doing on the computer last night. I told her I was looking for cheap flights. "I love you!" she said, then she got all excited, un-zipped my trousers and gave me the most amazing blow job ever......

Which is odd because she's never shown an interest in darts before!

Pablo · 12-19-2014, 04:09 PM

My wife tells me she'd blow me more if I'd stop ripping the most heinous farts known to man around her 24/7. I just get too much joy out of decimating the air any chance I get.

These things sound like a cross between deer bleats and thunder and smell like raw sewage. Can't saw that I blame her, but I'm not going to cut out the farting. It's one of my favorite things in the world to take a lovely, serene week-night living room and turn it into some sort of dumpster/swamp/roadkill center.

**Easy 6** · 12-19-2014, 04:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pablo

My wife tells me she'd blow me more if I'd stop ripping the most heinous farts known to man around her 24/7. I just get too much joy out of decimating the air any chance I get.

These things sound like a cross between deer bleats and thunder and smell like raw sewage. Can't saw that I blame her, but I'm not going to cut out the farting. It's one of my favorite things in the world to take a lovely, serene week-night living room and turn it into some sort of dumpster/swamp/roadkill center.

No sympathy AT ALL lol, you dont deserve head with your antics.

Any girl I ever dated would find herself without the services of my tongue if she thrilled to the smell and sound of the farts she ripped in front of me.

booger · 12-19-2014, 04:24 PM

Reminds me of drinking underage at this dive bar back in '99 or so. Closing time I played kiss me where it smells funny on the jukebox and that old tart took me home and really tought me how to properly glaze a ham

**ChiTown** · 12-19-2014, 04:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by booger

Reminds me of drinking underage at this dive bar back in '99 or so. Closing time I played kiss me where it smells funny on the jukebox and that old tart took me home and really taught me how to properly glaze a ham

Dayze · 12-19-2014, 04:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by booger

Reminds me of drinking underage at this dive bar back in '99 or so. Closing time I played kiss me where it smells funny on the jukebox and that old tart took me home and really tought me how to properly glaze a ham

I really don't even know what this means

**ChiTown** · 12-19-2014, 04:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dayze

I really don't even know what this means

http://www.urbandictionary.com/defin...=Glaze+the+ham

booger · 12-19-2014, 04:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dayze

I really don't even know what this means

Quote:

Originally Posted by ChiTown

http://www.urbandictionary.com/defin...=Glaze+the+ham

Good looking out Chi

eDave · 12-19-2014, 04:39 PM

It's always LSF for me when engaging in coitus.

**BigRedChief** · 12-19-2014, 04:49 PM

This thread is evolving into potential Hall of Classics material.

smells like motorcycles and freedom down there

eDave · 12-19-2014, 04:52 PM

The T-Rex:

When you are doing a girl from behind, preferably close to the edge of the bed, and you grab her by the shoulders and lift her up. This results in her swinging her arms aimlessly like a T-Rex while making moaning noises.

"Dude.. what was all that noise.."
"Oo.. I t rexed that bitch"
"Sahweet"

Pairs well with a donkey punch.

Katipan · 12-19-2014, 05:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by eDave

The T-Rex:

When you are doing a girl from behind, preferably close to the edge of the bed, and you grab her by the shoulders and lift her up. This results in her swinging her arms aimlessly like a T-Rex while making moaning noises.

"Dude.. what was all that noise.."
"Oo.. I t rexed that bitch"
"Sahweet"

Pairs well with a donkey punch.

I would think a large percentage of women would just put her hands on your hands.

The amputee or stubby.

Bonus points for everyone that just touched their shoulders and looked at their elbows.

View Poll Results: Do you get head on a regular basis?
Everytime my wife/gf/random person engage in coitus, I receive oral pleasure.	72	59.50%
My wife/gf/random person is allergic to skin in the genital region so I never receive oral pleasure.	3	2.48%
I only receive oral pleasure on special occasions.	28	23.14%
I only receive oral pleasure when I pay a hooker aka the billay option	4	3.31%
I am Clay and never get laid so this pole is irrelevant.	14	11.57%
Voters: 121. You may not vote on this poll

12-19-2014, 04:01 PM	#3
Dayze Resident Glue Sniffer Join Date: Nov 2003 Casino cash: $4989358	I bet Donger refers to his wang as "The Oil Rig" __________________ Life is 99% inspiration, 1% Perspiration, and 1% Attention to Detial. RIP & Godspeed: Saccoppo Lonewolf Ed Fire Me Boy
Posts: 37,373

12-19-2014, 04:05 PM	#4
Kman34 My Mamma Says Join Date: Jan 2014 Location: Glass Cage Of Emotion Casino cash: $1761786 VARSITY	The wife asked me what I was doing on the computer last night. I told her I was looking for cheap flights. "I love you!" she said, then she got all excited, un-zipped my trousers and gave me the most amazing blow job ever...... Which is odd because she's never shown an interest in darts before!
Posts: 13,945

12-19-2014, 04:09 PM	#5
Pablo Ultrabanned Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: KCMO Casino cash: $1809356	My wife tells me she'd blow me more if I'd stop ripping the most heinous farts known to man around her 24/7. I just get too much joy out of decimating the air any chance I get. These things sound like a cross between deer bleats and thunder and smell like raw sewage. Can't saw that I blame her, but I'm not going to cut out the farting. It's one of my favorite things in the world to take a lovely, serene week-night living room and turn it into some sort of dumpster/swamp/roadkill center.
Posts: 40,515

12-19-2014, 04:24 PM	#7
booger Don't Tug on Superman's Cape Join Date: Sep 2002 Location: clear out in the sticks Casino cash: $1298550	Reminds me of drinking underage at this dive bar back in '99 or so. Closing time I played kiss me where it smells funny on the jukebox and that old tart took me home and really tought me how to properly glaze a ham __________________ 2 Chronicles 7:14 If my people, which are called by my name, shall humble themselves, and pray, and seek my face, and turn from their wicked ways; then will I hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin, and will heal their land.
Posts: 12,511

12-19-2014, 04:39 PM	#12
eDave Banned Join Date: Jan 2013 Casino cash: $9998560	It's always LSF for me when engaging in coitus.
Posts: 53,803

12-19-2014, 04:49 PM	#13
BigRedChief Has a particular set of skills Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: On the water Casino cash: $2929627 VARSITY	This thread is evolving into potential Hall of Classics material. smells like motorcycles and freedom down there __________________ Time is worth more than money.
Posts: 79,187

12-19-2014, 04:52 PM	#14
eDave Banned Join Date: Jan 2013 Casino cash: $9998560	The T-Rex: When you are doing a girl from behind, preferably close to the edge of the bed, and you grab her by the shoulders and lift her up. This results in her swinging her arms aimlessly like a T-Rex while making moaning noises. "Dude.. what was all that noise.." "Oo.. I t rexed that bitch" "Sahweet" Pairs well with a donkey punch.
Posts: 53,803