Critters

[seclark]

Spell them however you want, but I do it possums. Nasty looking creatures,but they have their place in nature. I’ve recently learned that they eat ticks, so good for them. I believe in conservation.

Anyway, I’m laying in bed this morning reading, and my wife walks in, pretty wired for that time of day. Normally, she’s getting ready to go downstairs to her office. Instead she’s saying, “Zeke has a giant dead possum on the front porch!”.

Zeke is a 125lb chocolate lab. He’s 3 years old and he runs this patch of timber and a pond. He’s terrible about killing critters and bringing them to the front door. Pain in the ass.

Anyway, I get up and go look out my office window, and there’s old Zeke laying there sleeping in the sun with his head about a foot away from a big, fat, bloody possum. ****!

So, I went out to the garage and found one right handed glove. I opened the garage door, then I opened the tailgate of my truck. As I walked out of the garage, I noticed a trail of blood coming from the woods behind my house,across the carport, then along around the sidewalk in front of the house to the front porch. A bloody trail.

I pulled on the glove and picked up the corpse by the tail. Zeke perked up and followed me back to the truck where I tossed the dead object in the bed. I drove off around a hill to a bridge and chucked it over the edge.

I came home to find my wife outside with a bucket of bleach and a sponge, cleaning up the murder scene. Zeke was sitting next to her, nipping at her ponytail. I asked her if she knew where his mouth had been.

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[Fish]

Fun fact. An opossum's body temp is typically 94-95 degrees, which makes them incapable of carrying most viruses like rabies. Not 100% immune, but pretty close. They are the only marsupial in America. And they actually have no relation to possums. The Virginia Opossum is the only species of its kind.

[philfree]

I started out into my garage one day and there was an Opossum sitting up on top of the garage opener mechanism. I got a broom and shewed it away. As it jumped to garage floor a baby Opossum fell out onto the floor and momma scrambled away. The baby was just laying there on the floor lifeless. I picked it up be the tail and it was lifeless. I laid it in a small box and went inside for a few minutes and when I came back out it was gone. It had seemed so dead but it was only Playing Opossum.

When I was a kid maybe 10-12 years old we had gone to visit the relatives over in the Bootheel. When we did that I always stayed at my cousin Charles (Charlie Boy) house. My uncle had a shop and a salvage yard. My grandparents also lived on that property in a mobile home. Grandpa always had box traps put out for rabbits but I think he trapped more Opossums. One day me and Charlie Boy saw one of the traps and been sprung. We checked it and there was a Opossum in it. Charlie Boy proceeded to put the critter in a box that a washer or dryer and come in and began to a antagonize it. Then he got his dog Scarlet and while he had it by the tail Scarlet had it by the head and they had one hell of a tug of war. It was pretty crazy for a couple young boys. Charlie Boy was always a little crazy though. We were tight . May he rest in peace!

That's a couple Opossum stories. The one from my youth is a golden memory.

We would go out into the salvage yard and climb up into one car that was stacked on another and pretend we were flying a plane. LOL lucky we didn't end up with a car on top of us.

[Holladay]

I am OK with possums. I am not OK with Skunks in my garage. The dog and I had to take a Tomato Juice bath. Nor Badgers in my field, that almost kilt my male Sheppard/Huskie.

Dunno about Grizzlies nor sharks though. Not in KS. Snakes, just black ones. They are OK. Not rattlers yet.

[Frazod]

Originally Posted by Holladay

I am OK with possums. I am not OK with Skunks in my garage. The dog and I had to take a Tomato Juice bath. Nor Badgers in my field, that almost kilt my male Sheppard/Huskie.

Dunno about Grizzlies nor sharks though. Not in KS. Snakes, just black ones. They are OK. Not rattlers yet.

Goddamn skunks burrowed under my front porch and adjoining garage a few years ago. At some point one of them died under the garage. If you think the ****ers smell bad when they're alive, dead is a whole different level of stench. This was during a really hot summer as well, which made it that much worse. Took a couple of months for the smell to go away completely. I put two huge industrial strength air fresheners in the garage just so I could get to and from the car without wanting to puke. Luckily it didn't really penetrate the inside of the house.

God that was nasty.

[Katipan]

My old lady "Puppy" passed this week.
She haunts me more than my husband did.

Love hearing about your babies.

[Bob Dole]

I don't mind the possums and trash pandas, but the armadillos can go to hell.

[philfree]

Originally Posted by Holladay

I am OK with possums. I am not OK with Skunks in my garage. The dog and I had to take a Tomato Juice bath. Nor Badgers in my field, that almost kilt my male Sheppard/Huskie.

Dunno about Grizzlies nor sharks though. Not in KS. Snakes, just black ones. They are OK. Not rattlers yet.

I had a Pointer that got sprayed by a skunk at point blank range. Right in the face. He was miserable coughing, choking, and slobbering. I figured he'd be cured of messing with skunks after that but no. He had it in for'em after that. He'd be standing in 3-4 foot tall grass pointing and I'm like cool we found some birds! I go wadding up for a flush and as I'd get close I'd see the black plum sticking up. I'd be like "oh shit" and I'd start back peddling like Deon Sanders. I'd always come across more skunks in KS than in MO. Those little ****ers are friendly too. They have no problem coming up to say hi. They ain't scared.

[philfree]

Originally Posted by Bob Dole

I don't mind the possums and trash pandas, but the armadillos can go to hell.

Went to hunt up on some Corp ground around Stockton Lake and there were to many Armadillos to even hunt birds. There was one under every bush. Nasty critters!

[seclark]

Originally Posted by Bob Dole

I don't mind the possums and trash pandas, but the armadillos can go to hell.

Accidentally got one stuck under the car on the freeway in okc one time and it was the God awfullest sound you ever heard.
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[FlaChief58]

Originally Posted by philfree

Went to hunt up on some Corp ground around Stockton Lake and there were to many Armadillos to even hunt birds. There was one under every bush. Nasty critters!

A few months ago, we had an Armadillo that decided to set up residency in the empty lot next to us. I started finding holes all over my yard and after reviewing the security cam footage, found out the little bastard was showing up every night like clockwork. It took a week to catch it in a live trap and drive it about 10 miles away to release it.

Sometimes when I'm outside admiring my hole free yard, I can't help thinking about him and wondering how he's doing.

Just kidding, **** that little asshole

[Hog Rider]

I was at the moth** f**in Stop and Go, and this moth** f**in 'possum come alive in my back seat and bit me in the moth** f**in neck.

[Holladay]

Why was it in your back seat?

Additionally, moles give me nightmares...literally.

[seclark]

Originally Posted by Hog Rider

I was at the moth** f**in Stop and Go, and this moth** f**in 'possum come alive in my back seat and bit me in the moth** f**in neck.

Beats my story.
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[booger]

Originally Posted by HemiEd

ok, this really did make me laugh, too funny.

Possums do have some good traits but I have a sister that is really tired of them killing her chickens.


I have a friend with two giant chocolate labs both well over 100 lbs, Bosco and Fred. His dog food bill makes me cringe, we discussed it a while back.

Recently he had to spend about $7000 on hip surgery for one of them. I often wonder if it isn't due to so much weight, as he said they are now going to have to operate on the other one.

Dog food prices jumped up with everything else. Crazy. Hip and elbow dysplasia is a common problem with large dog breeds and working or sporting dogs. I didn’t know much about it until I read up on German Shepherd years ago and they talked about negative hips meaning if you could get a pup from a line of dogs that didn’t have the history of the dysplasia you will be much better off because it’s hereditary. But yeah I think the hunting dogs and working dogs that’s what sucks is the wear and tear on their joints even if it’s just arthritis. Then the really small dogs have heart murmur and that’s common with chihuahuas in my experience. My mom had a tiny little shit toy or teacup chihuahua. Hilarious and not super annoying and yappy like little dogs can be. He developed a heart murmur issue and I got my mom some fish oil capsules and she would give him those. They get hiccups when the heart is having its problems. But she talked to the vet and he gave some medication to go with and said he isn’t suffering so just enjoy him and give him the fish oil if you like. So I looked into when I got my new pup and found several omega three supplements either liquid or chewable.

That’s a nightmare the cost of surgery for them but if folks have it and obviously love their pets they will pay it. Sounds like that dog if he needs a second surgery he will be retired or semiretired from his hunting days. Or put on oppossom duty!

[Rain Man]

Originally Posted by Hog Rider

I was at the moth** f**in Stop and Go, and this moth** f**in 'possum come alive in my back seat and bit me in the moth** f**in neck.

Does anyone else think that the security tapes of the Stop and Go will show that it was a hooker and not a possum?