Life I'm depressed - Page 25

rabblerouser · 10-30-2018, 03:56 PM

So, I'm not really happy...on the surface things seem great, I have a decent job, Chiefs are kicking ass, I have a nice crib in the country, a couple cars, play some music on the weekends...

But I'm absolutely depressed. I miss my daughter, I miss my ex-girlfriend, Brittney...

I want to move to NY, but I have to wait for my job.

So, it seems like I'm stuck here, at least for a bit...

Not much is bringing me pleasure, I was so depressed today at work...I get weird thoughts, not like I want to hurt myself, but just...musings on the pointlessness of going to work every single day, just to pay to exist, just to really pay for the kid that I never see...

I'm actually pretty damn lonely, even in a roomful of people.

It sucks.

rabblerouser · 03-23-2022, 03:46 PM

Today has been a shit day. Just. Shit.

I don't know if it's my mom, my daughter, Funbags, Tyreek, the 3 grand in missing records, the 3 grand in car repairs, my own health issues pleading, pleading out to something I didn't do today, or the culmination of everything and more...but nothing means anything right now.

**Baby Lee** · 03-23-2022, 03:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by rabblerouser

Today has been a shit day. Just. Shit.

I don't know if it's my mom, my daughter, Funbags, Tyreek, the 3 grand in missing records, the 3 grand in car repairs, my own health issues pleading, pleading out to something I didn't do today, or the culmination of everything and more...but nothing means anything right now.

Don't whine, Bearcat gonna get you.

TLO · 03-23-2022, 04:00 PM

3 grand in missing reports?

Rasputin · 03-23-2022, 04:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by rabblerouser

Today has been a shit day. Just. Shit.

I don't know if it's my mom, my daughter, Funbags, Tyreek, the 3 grand in missing records, the 3 grand in car repairs, my own health issues pleading, pleading out to something I didn't do today, or the culmination of everything and more...but nothing means anything right now.

I have pleurisy. I can't do shit but rest. THis ****ing sucks. I've been to hospital via ambulance 3 times for breathing issues and chest pains. Even though my o2 stats were fine I'd hyperventilate and breathing is a bitch. I thought it was just a COPD flair up but this shit didn't get cleared up on roids that usually gets me back feeling good but this is kicking my ass. I saw the Doctor Monday and in his office had a breathing attack hypervenated and he called the ambulance. But albeit it's an educated guess it's pleruisy but it's all the symptoms and mostly I thought it was my COPD. I have to do breathing treatment every 4 hours I don't miss a treatment and they gave me meds and pain meds hoping this will clear it but I'm on second week of missing work and depression.

The best way I can describe the pain is hold your hand 5 inches over a candle for a minute then move your hand closer to candle then go back 5 inches that's how breathing is. The deeper breath i take the more it hurts so I do slow shallow breaths but that triggers making me breath quicker and if I do much of anything like go to the store or put gas in the truck I'm ****ed with a breathing attack and use my inhaler I keep on me all time and I use it throughout the day.

I'm thankful and quite honest I may have had a panic attack at docs office expecting him to say I have esophagus cancer because he said he wanted to talk to me about my esophagus and not tell me over the phone I looked up things and I had all the signs of C but thank God it's not that and they dismissed it .

So bud i'm sorry your going through what your going throuugh but all I've been able to do to cope is bullshit on chiefs planet and post my opinions but mostly rest. I've had COPD kick my ass before but I was able to recover this is taking longer and such a bitch to breath.

this is how life is treating me

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Kman34 · 03-23-2022, 04:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by rabblerouser

Today has been a shit day. Just. Shit.

I don't know if it's my mom, my daughter, Funbags, Tyreek, the 3 grand in missing records, the 3 grand in car repairs, my own health issues pleading, pleading out to something I didn't do today, or the culmination of everything and more...but nothing means anything right now.

I’m sorry bud, I’ve been depressed too.. had foot surgery and can’t walk, found out I have skin cancer, and spend a lot of time thinking about my Dad and best friend who passed away last year.. Thank god for my wife and family… Sometimes you just need to find a little thing that shines in the day to get you though…

Pitt Gorilla · 03-23-2022, 04:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Baby Lee

Don't whine, Bearcat gonna get you.

What does that mean?

Rasputin · 03-23-2022, 04:42 PM

I also got scammed by believing in a pipe dream and that even though I knew it was a scam being home alone for a week with my thoughts and delusions i wanted to believe it was real and I convinced myself it was real and I was going make winnings of $150,000.00. Pryor my GF told me not to do it before she went on her trip to see her daughter in AZ but i didn't get to go and would have died anyways traveling. I'm so ****ing stupid. Now Rabble may lost 3G so that's kinda worse than mine but I used a paycheck to get the money I knew I wouldn't get but they hacked a relatives account to bait me and it was hook line and sinker. It was weird I could tell it wasn't my relative but it was him in the profile picture I mean beware this is how they get you. THey steal a relative identity then say hey you can win this money by this agent and trust him. First off I broke my rule never trust anyone who says "trust me" but I'm filing for bankruptcy and I though what if I took a chance and win all this money after all a trusted member of the family told me to do it. I knew better. That's why i pointed at me in the Fail thread because I got had. I sent $1000 for "tax clearance fee" then i was supposed to get it that day however and this is when I knew I got took the UPS and Fed Ex trucks wrecked and someone died and someone in hospital and he showed me thes graphic pictures but at first it seamed plausible but three of the picks were in daylight and one was at night so that didn't jive and none of pictures matched. But he says the Fire Department is holding the money for ransom and needed another 1000 **** you pos but I got despartae at that point I said I only have 250 he said he would cover the rest and I'd get it the next day and of course the next day came and no package and another zinger something came up to delay the money they said to the "AGENT" that he couldn't pay the ransom I had to. SO I went the **** off on him and the fake relative. I've kinda been a basket case over this. I've always warned people of scams and avoided them but out of desperation I spent my money selling my soul to the Devil himself in sheep clothes because he said he was Christian Evangelist. Yea mother ****er Christians don't steal and scam people. Well I guess they do on TV because they always want you send money to be saved.

Block of words omg

If I was a character I'd be the tin man without a brain.

rtmike · 03-23-2022, 05:14 PM

Welcome to my world.

Old post so I hope things are better?
If so I could use some pointers.

I'm paralyzed, duh. Divorced in May.
Moved back home to western Kansas.
I kicked a narcotics habit since Thanksgiving 03, beginning of this year.
Having a clear mind rocks I must say but giving a shit sucks sometimes.

Getting off the narcotics brought me back to the beginning of my sci and dealing with issues. They would constipate me so I don't shit myself.
Now I dupe myself at least every other day. I don't wanna go anywhere cause it's sorta embarrassing shitting yourself if im out & about, lol.

Then I'm pretty sure I have throat cancer.
Two uncles had it and now my throats been bothering me the past month.

And then yesterday I was assaulted in the Walmart parking lot for parking my front right tire half way on the yellow line of an ada stall.
1st time in 19 years I was scared to death.
The dude went absolutely ape shit.
I woulda apologized but not when he was making fun of me being in a wheelchair.

I flipped him off a couple times. First time he grabbed my wheelchair and got in my face.
I ended up calling the cops.

WTF tries to threaten someone in a wheelchair, lol.

Comical, Mr. crazy & one of the cops said I shoulda parked in the hashmarks to give him more room.
I said that's a $300 fine. He said kansas is different than Washington, lol.
What a couple dumb f's. It's illegal nationwide, lol.

Now I gotta start carrying as much as I hate it.
Not in the store but it'll be in my rig.

What really sucks is I was the top oiler at the biggest crane rental outfit in Portland. They just give me a new $2.8million crane, in '02.
Previous heavy hauler and machinery mover.
All trades they now do. They bought brand new 9, 13 axle truck/,trailers.
That's how I hired on. I used to haul all their cranes, lol.

Imo, we all have issues.
It's just how we deal with them that makes us unique.

rtmike · 03-23-2022, 05:26 PM

7th

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kman34

I’m sorry bud, I’ve been depressed too.. had foot surgery and can’t walk,…

A cmon man.

I can't either, lol.

It's all about the parking man, lol.

Rasputin · 03-23-2022, 06:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by rtmike

7th

A cmon man.

I can't either, lol.

It's all about the parking man, lol.

I admire you and in some ways I envy you and I don't envy a lot of people. I don't get jealous I'm happy for people to have success. I envy you because you are a stronger man than I am and you can handle things I truly cannot. I fear myself more than I fear anyone but I can't help who I am or why I hate myself yet you have a grip on your life it seems and well witted. Not that' I'd want to be in a wheel chair but I remember second grade thinking I'd be better off in a wheel chair and people would feel sorry for me and I'd get things or a girl I liked would push me around just attention I guess. I somewhat don't even know what I'm talkiing about right now I just wish I could get a grip on life and get over shit that's stuck in my head. I had a panic attack at the doctors cuz i couldn't breathe but I think had I not panicked I could have controlled my breathing better. I've struggled with my faith lately and screwed myself from getting scammed that I knew deep down but my hope in reality was twisted and I got delusional that all that money was going set me free from debt and take the stress away.

So I admire you and envy you and you are an inspiration.

KChiefs1 · 03-23-2022, 06:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by rabblerouser

Today has been a shit day. Just. Shit.

I don't know if it's my mom, my daughter, Funbags, Tyreek, the 3 grand in missing records, the 3 grand in car repairs, my own health issues pleading, pleading out to something I didn't do today, or the culmination of everything and more...but nothing means anything right now.

You could be that bundle of sticks staylor26…so you have that going for you.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Rasputin · 03-23-2022, 07:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by KChiefs1

You could be that bundle of sticks staylor26…so you have that going for you.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Guess that makes me a bundle of sticks too because I like staylor26 he has good takes on football a little homerish but so am but can also recognize problems. Just not going freak out over every thing .

Demonpenz · 03-23-2022, 07:11 PM

Hope you guys feel better

KChiefs1 · 03-23-2022, 08:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rasputin

Guess that makes me a bundle of sticks too because I like staylor26 he has good takes on football a little homerish but so am but can also recognize problems. Just not going freak out over every thing .

His takes on football??????

Mecole Hardman was going to be great????
Lucas Niang the next Willie Roaf????
CEH was a great pick at RB????

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Rasputin · 03-23-2022, 08:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by KChiefs1

His takes on football??????

Mecole Hardman was going to be great????
Lucas Niang the next Willie Roaf????
CEH was a great pick at RB????

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

wtf dude quit hijacking this thread and he's not wrong the jury is still out they are still in the club house and the Chiefs seem to like them. Clyde had some injury set backs sure but he ****ing kicked ass his rookie year and he came on strong late this year you don't know ****ing shit. I also like Hardman he makes big time plays needs more opportunities to do them. I think he was held back because of TYreek but of course Tyreek is the better WR. you don't even give guys time to develop. Clyde is going into his third year and see how he does. If he stays healthy he is going be a kick ass running back. Hardman is going get more opportunities too so just see now kindly **** off and get out of this thread you are derailing for your personal agenda.

10-30-2018, 03:56 PM
rabblerouser left blank intentionally Join Date: Oct 2012 Location: Belize Nuts Casino cash: $4664897	I'm depressed So, I'm not really happy...on the surface things seem great, I have a decent job, Chiefs are kicking ass, I have a nice crib in the country, a couple cars, play some music on the weekends... But I'm absolutely depressed. I miss my daughter, I miss my ex-girlfriend, Brittney... I want to move to NY, but I have to wait for my job. So, it seems like I'm stuck here, at least for a bit... Not much is bringing me pleasure, I was so depressed today at work...I get weird thoughts, not like I want to hurt myself, but just...musings on the pointlessness of going to work every single day, just to pay to exist, just to really pay for the kid that I never see... I'm actually pretty damn lonely, even in a roomful of people. It sucks.
Posts: 32,166

03-23-2022, 03:46 PM	#361
rabblerouser left blank intentionally Join Date: Oct 2012 Location: Belize Nuts Casino cash: $4664897	Today has been a shit day. Just. Shit. I don't know if it's my mom, my daughter, Funbags, Tyreek, the 3 grand in missing records, the 3 grand in car repairs, my own health issues pleading, pleading out to something I didn't do today, or the culmination of everything and more...but nothing means anything right now. __________________ MY ADOPT-A-CHIEF : Jody Fortson Jr.
Posts: 32,166

03-23-2022, 04:00 PM	#363
TLO Life is changing.. Join Date: Jul 2012 Location: NW Missouri Casino cash: $1584900	3 grand in missing reports?
Posts: 39,110

03-23-2022, 04:42 PM	#367
Rasputin Tip of the hat LIV Champs Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: ks Casino cash: $3195421	I also got scammed by believing in a pipe dream and that even though I knew it was a scam being home alone for a week with my thoughts and delusions i wanted to believe it was real and I convinced myself it was real and I was going make winnings of $150,000.00. Pryor my GF told me not to do it before she went on her trip to see her daughter in AZ but i didn't get to go and would have died anyways traveling. I'm so **ing stupid. Now Rabble may lost 3G so that's kinda worse than mine but I used a paycheck to get the money I knew I wouldn't get but they hacked a relatives account to bait me and it was hook line and sinker. It was weird I could tell it wasn't my relative but it was him in the profile picture I mean beware this is how they get you. THey steal a relative identity then say hey you can win this money by this agent and trust him. First off I broke my rule never trust anyone who says "trust me" but I'm filing for bankruptcy and I though what if I took a chance and win all this money after all a trusted member of the family told me to do it. I knew better. That's why i pointed at me in the Fail thread because I got had. I sent $1000 for "tax clearance fee" then i was supposed to get it that day however and this is when I knew I got took the UPS and Fed Ex trucks wrecked and someone died and someone in hospital and he showed me thes graphic pictures but at first it seamed plausible but three of the picks were in daylight and one was at night so that didn't jive and none of pictures matched. But he says the Fire Department is holding the money for ransom and needed another 1000 you pos but I got despartae at that point I said I only have 250 he said he would cover the rest and I'd get it the next day and of course the next day came and no package and another zinger something came up to delay the money they said to the "AGENT" that he couldn't pay the ransom I had to. SO I went the off on him and the fake relative. I've kinda been a basket case over this. I've always warned people of scams and avoided them but out of desperation I spent my money selling my soul to the Devil himself in sheep clothes because he said he was Christian Evangelist. Yea mother **er Christians don't steal and scam people. Well I guess they do on TV because they always want you send money to be saved. Block of words omg If I was a character I'd be the tin man without a brain. __________________ A Brave Man Once Requested Me To Answer Questions That Are Key 'Is It To Be Or Not To Be' And I Replied Oh Why Ask Me
Posts: 54,983

03-23-2022, 05:14 PM	#368
rtmike union paraplegic organizer Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: western Kansas Casino cash: $9094600	Welcome to my world. Old post so I hope things are better? If so I could use some pointers. I'm paralyzed, duh. Divorced in May. Moved back home to western Kansas. I kicked a narcotics habit since Thanksgiving 03, beginning of this year. Having a clear mind rocks I must say but giving a shit sucks sometimes. Getting off the narcotics brought me back to the beginning of my sci and dealing with issues. They would constipate me so I don't shit myself. Now I dupe myself at least every other day. I don't wanna go anywhere cause it's sorta embarrassing shitting yourself if im out & about, lol. Then I'm pretty sure I have throat cancer. Two uncles had it and now my throats been bothering me the past month. And then yesterday I was assaulted in the Walmart parking lot for parking my front right tire half way on the yellow line of an ada stall. 1st time in 19 years I was scared to death. The dude went absolutely ape shit. I woulda apologized but not when he was making fun of me being in a wheelchair. I flipped him off a couple times. First time he grabbed my wheelchair and got in my face. I ended up calling the cops. WTF tries to threaten someone in a wheelchair, lol. Comical, Mr. crazy & one of the cops said I shoulda parked in the hashmarks to give him more room. I said that's a $300 fine. He said kansas is different than Washington, lol. What a couple dumb f's. It's illegal nationwide, lol. Now I gotta start carrying as much as I hate it. Not in the store but it'll be in my rig. What really sucks is I was the top oiler at the biggest crane rental outfit in Portland. They just give me a new $2.8million crane, in '02. Previous heavy hauler and machinery mover. All trades they now do. They bought brand new 9, 13 axle truck/,trailers. That's how I hired on. I used to haul all their cranes, lol. Imo, we all have issues. It's just how we deal with them that makes us unique. __________________ I like to sleep For I'm walking in my dreams. Live life like every DAY is your last!
Posts: 3,097	1 0

03-23-2022, 07:11 PM	#373
Demonpenz Woman should only make babies Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: Apartment "G UNIT!" Casino cash: $2902136	Hope you guys feel better __________________
Posts: 54,302