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06-23-2023, 01:41 PM | Topic Starter |
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Critters
Spell them however you want, but I do it possums. Nasty looking creatures,but they have their place in nature. I’ve recently learned that they eat ticks, so good for them. I believe in conservation.
Anyway, I’m laying in bed this morning reading, and my wife walks in, pretty wired for that time of day. Normally, she’s getting ready to go downstairs to her office. Instead she’s saying, “Zeke has a giant dead possum on the front porch!”. Zeke is a 125lb chocolate lab. He’s 3 years old and he runs this patch of timber and a pond. He’s terrible about killing critters and bringing them to the front door. Pain in the ass. Anyway, I get up and go look out my office window, and there’s old Zeke laying there sleeping in the sun with his head about a foot away from a big, fat, bloody possum. ****! So, I went out to the garage and found one right handed glove. I opened the garage door, then I opened the tailgate of my truck. As I walked out of the garage, I noticed a trail of blood coming from the woods behind my house,across the carport, then along around the sidewalk in front of the house to the front porch. A bloody trail. I pulled on the glove and picked up the corpse by the tail. Zeke perked up and followed me back to the truck where I tossed the dead object in the bed. I drove off around a hill to a bridge and chucked it over the edge. I came home to find my wife outside with a bucket of bleach and a sponge, cleaning up the murder scene. Zeke was sitting next to her, nipping at her ponytail. I asked her if she knew where his mouth had been. sec |
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06-23-2023, 01:44 PM | #2 |
MER
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I love how you keep your one handed gloves just in case.
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"Loving him is red." |
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06-23-2023, 01:46 PM | #3 |
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They’re usually someone else’s that left them here
sec
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06-23-2023, 07:41 PM | #4 |
Politically Incorrect
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One glove is for the dead critters and the other is one for....well you all know.
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06-23-2023, 01:54 PM | #5 |
NFL's #1 Ermines Fan
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VARSITY
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A murder scene and a one-armed glove. I think I know this movie. If Tommy Lee Jones shows up, run.
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06-23-2023, 01:56 PM | #6 |
Just Lurking
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06-23-2023, 01:56 PM | #7 |
Don't Tug on Superman's Cape
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The males have a forked penis
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06-23-2023, 01:58 PM | #8 |
MER
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If the wife is tied to the porch with a chain, It'll sell.
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"Loving him is red." |
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06-23-2023, 02:02 PM | #9 |
Buddy Christ is a Chiefs fan
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Black Possum Moan
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"You know, they lay down with their ugly wives in front of their ugly children and just look at their loser lives and then they look at me and say, "I CAN'T PROCESS IT!" Well, no, and you never will. Stop trying. Just sit back and enjoy the show .... You know?" Carlos Irwin Estevez |
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06-23-2023, 02:05 PM | #10 |
Don't Tug on Superman's Cape
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They sure are ugly bastards you’re right. Looks like a meth eating rat ****ed a yorkie. I didn’t know about the tick eating part. Makes a guy want to shoot them a bit less
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2 Chronicles 7:14 If my people, which are called by my name, shall humble themselves, and pray, and seek my face, and turn from their wicked ways; then will I hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin, and will heal their land. |
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06-23-2023, 02:10 PM | #11 |
Sauntering Vaguely Downwards
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I've had (counts on fingers) five labs. My 'big' lab didn't hit 100 lbs until he got old and a little bit fat; was 90 lbs most of his life. And he has that big ol' English bone structure (beautiful dog).
A 125 lb lab at 4 yrs old is !@#$ing MASSIVE.
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06-23-2023, 02:21 PM | #12 | |
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Quote:
My cousin is an owner/vet from como and she takes care of him, although she has him on a diet. He’s my 4th but first male. I bought him from a guy I worked with that raised labs for years. We love him. sec
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06-23-2023, 02:29 PM | #13 | |
Sauntering Vaguely Downwards
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Quote:
Speaking of which, I think the pet thread could use an update. Off I go...
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06-23-2023, 02:48 PM | #14 | |
Sauntering Vaguely Downwards
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Quote:
They'd give us a call whenever Mac came in - big goofy shit-eating grin on his face. Happened 2-3 times. And Winston (the rot) is just a bit notorious.
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"If there's a god, he's laughing at us.....and our football team..." "When you look at something through rose colored glasses, all the red flags just look like flags." |
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06-23-2023, 02:57 PM | #15 | |
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Quote:
Into showing dogs and shit. Love her like a sister and she takes care of my dogs, but she’s very serious about shit. Which makes her successful I guess. sec
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