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06-12-2017, 10:00 AM | Topic Starter |
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Hypothetical: Get your time travel assignment here.
Here's the situation: you show up for work on Monday morning, and as you're drinking your initial cup of coffee or Dr. Pepper, an e-mail arrives from your CEO with one of those red exclamation points on it. You open it up.
In a surprise move, your company is moving all operations to the Central African Republic. You can relocate there at a wage of 50 cents per day, plus the company will cover the cost of your first 100 rounds of self-protection ammo, or you can get laid off. You take the second option. You start browsing through the job ads and come across this one: Local community college seeks documenting historian. Must be open to new cultures, foods, and experiences. You answer the ad and you get an interview immediately once they see your resume line item about proficiency in the Microsoft Office suite. You go to the interview and they ask questions about how much you need coffee and electricity and indoor plumbing. They seem satisfied with your answers. A few days later, you get the nice e-mail that you’ve been accepted into the Twin Pines Community College Time Travel Project as a documenting historian. As it turns out, one of the dental technician students wired some machinery together oddly and created a time machine, so now Twin Pines is the world leader in time travel. Your assignment will be to go back into the past, live for a year, and document what you see. You can pick your landing location anywhere on the earth. The only challenge is that the time machine picks a random year and no one can control it. You’ll arrive on January 1st according to the Gregorian calendar and depart on December 31st, but no one will know what year until you arrive. The machine overweights more recent years, so the odds are 50 percent that you’ll be more recent than the year 700 AD, and 80 percent that you’ll be more recent than 1,100 BC, but conceivably you could go all the way back to the earth’s beginning. If you accept the job I’ll randomly assign you a year, and you’ll have to report back on where you would go and what you would try to document. Assume that you will be equipped with a translation device and that you will not change history if you interact with it. Any people or creatures will merely see you as an oddity and minor annoyance, kind of like Michael Strahan on TV shows. Who wishes to enter the Twin Pines time machine? Volunteer in the thread and I’ll assign you a year. |
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06-12-2017, 10:04 AM | #2 |
Bono & Grbac wasn't enough
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Can I just go into the future instead to see if the Mahomes pick was an awesome one?
TIA
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06-12-2017, 10:06 AM | #3 | |
NFL's #1 Ermines Fan
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Quote:
Your assigned year is 9864 BC.
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06-12-2017, 10:11 AM | #4 |
Bono & Grbac wasn't enough
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Verdict is not guilty because of spelling violation in original sentencing. Case dismissed!
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06-12-2017, 10:13 AM | #5 | ||
Mindful Taoist German
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...
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06-12-2017, 10:18 AM | #6 |
NFL's #1 Ermines Fan
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I'm going to break my assigning rule and require ptlyon to study the origin of those words.
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06-12-2017, 10:16 AM | #7 |
Tip of the hat LIV Champs
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It would be interesting to learn about brothels back in time.
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06-12-2017, 10:19 AM | #8 |
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You'll be visiting 1331 AD. Don't wear anything that looks witchy.
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06-12-2017, 10:10 AM | #9 | ||
Mindful Taoist German
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In.
I prefer good dental health and regular showers but I'd trade it all to make cell phones go away...
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06-12-2017, 10:16 AM | #10 |
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Your assigned year is 71 AD. Lots of good possibilities for study there.
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06-12-2017, 10:47 AM | #11 | |||
Mindful Taoist German
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People feel much differently about bowel movements here. In public. Gutters weren't used this way where I grew up. I paid a guy to meet an oracle. I figured, hey, might as well have a psychedelic experience while I'm here. Don't do that. Oracles look like meth-whores on an Ethiopian diet plan. She also convulsed a lot and made no ****ing sense while telling me that "Your love will torment you. Your mouth will crack from thirst but you will not drink." I assume she knew I was a Chiefs fan. On the plus side there is a slave rebellion forming. On the down side people look much different. There isn't a "jacked" guy here. No one I've met yet could even play TE in the NFL. It's impossible to predict how this will end but I suspect a slap-fight...
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06-12-2017, 10:50 AM | #12 |
I'll be back.
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06-12-2017, 10:53 AM | #13 | ||
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Rainman did not provide me with much in the way of coinage.
The disease here is indescribable. It makes ****ing a horse look sensible...
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06-12-2017, 10:12 AM | #14 |
The pizza king of kansas
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In!
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06-12-2017, 10:17 AM | #15 |
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We're looking forward to reading your report about the year 2543 BC.
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