Life Critters

seclark · 06-23-2023, 01:41 PM

Spell them however you want, but I do it possums. Nasty looking creatures,but they have their place in nature. I’ve recently learned that they eat ticks, so good for them. I believe in conservation.

Anyway, I’m laying in bed this morning reading, and my wife walks in, pretty wired for that time of day. Normally, she’s getting ready to go downstairs to her office. Instead she’s saying, “Zeke has a giant dead possum on the front porch!”.

Zeke is a 125lb chocolate lab. He’s 3 years old and he runs this patch of timber and a pond. He’s terrible about killing critters and bringing them to the front door. Pain in the ass.

Anyway, I get up and go look out my office window, and there’s old Zeke laying there sleeping in the sun with his head about a foot away from a big, fat, bloody possum. ****!

So, I went out to the garage and found one right handed glove. I opened the garage door, then I opened the tailgate of my truck. As I walked out of the garage, I noticed a trail of blood coming from the woods behind my house,across the carport, then along around the sidewalk in front of the house to the front porch. A bloody trail.

I pulled on the glove and picked up the corpse by the tail. Zeke perked up and followed me back to the truck where I tossed the dead object in the bed. I drove off around a hill to a bridge and chucked it over the edge.

I came home to find my wife outside with a bucket of bleach and a sponge, cleaning up the murder scene. Zeke was sitting next to her, nipping at her ponytail. I asked her if she knew where his mouth had been.

sec

Katipan · 06-23-2023, 01:44 PM

I love how you keep your one handed gloves just in case.

seclark · 06-23-2023, 01:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Katipan

I love how you keep your one handed gloves just in case.

They’re usually someone else’s that left them here
sec

**Rain Man** · 06-23-2023, 01:54 PM

A murder scene and a one-armed glove. I think I know this movie. If Tommy Lee Jones shows up, run.

**Renegade** · 06-23-2023, 01:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rain Man

A murder scene and a one-armed glove. I think I know this movie. If Tommy Lee Jones shows up, run.

But your Honor, the glove does not fit. Want me to prove it?

booger · 06-23-2023, 01:56 PM

The males have a forked penis

Katipan · 06-23-2023, 01:58 PM

If the wife is tied to the porch with a chain, It'll sell.

**BigRichard** · 06-23-2023, 02:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Katipan

If the wife is tied to the porch with a chain, It'll sell.

Black Possum Moan

booger · 06-23-2023, 02:05 PM

They sure are ugly bastards you’re right. Looks like a meth eating rat ****ed a yorkie. I didn’t know about the tick eating part. Makes a guy want to shoot them a bit less

DJ's left nut · 06-23-2023, 02:10 PM

I've had (counts on fingers) five labs. My 'big' lab didn't hit 100 lbs until he got old and a little bit fat; was 90 lbs most of his life. And he has that big ol' English bone structure (beautiful dog).

A 125 lb lab at 4 yrs old is !@#$ing MASSIVE.

booger · 06-23-2023, 02:11 PM

Pup sounds like a good boy! Trained well. I’d say he deserves a couple hard boiled eggs and fried chicken hearts liver and gizzards for a nice treat

seclark · 06-23-2023, 02:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DJ's left nut

I've had (counts on fingers) five labs. My 'big' lab didn't hit 100 lbs until he got old and a little bit fat; was 90 lbs most of his life. And he has that big ol' English bone structure (beautiful dog).

A 125 lb lab at 4 yrs old is !@#$ing MASSIVE.

He’s a big boy.
My cousin is an owner/vet from como and she takes care of him, although she has him on a diet. He’s my 4th but first male. I bought him from a guy I worked with that raised labs for years. We love him.
sec

**Bearcat** · 06-23-2023, 02:22 PM

DJ's left nut · 06-23-2023, 02:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by seclark

He’s a big boy.
My cousin is an owner/vet from como and she takes care of him, although she has him on a diet. He’s my 4th but first male. I bought him from a guy I worked with that raised labs for years. We love him.
sec

I think the new guy's gonna be a big one. But I'd say more along the lines of 100 lbs at fighting weight. He's about 80 lbs now (need to weigh him again) at 9 months old. Figure with a little more slow growing and then that secondary growth spurt at 18 months, he's got another 20 lbs or so while staying fairly lean.

Speaking of which, I think the pet thread could use an update. Off I go...

DJ's left nut · 06-23-2023, 02:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by seclark

He’s a big boy.
My cousin is an owner/vet from como and she takes care of him, although she has him on a diet. He’s my 4th but first male. I bought him from a guy I worked with that raised labs for years. We love him.
sec

Oh, and if your cousin is relatively new to CoMo, she's probably MY vet. And would know both my old lab and my dipshit Rotty fairly well. We go to Trailside out here. Mac (old lab) had a couple of walkabouts and got taken down there because it's the nearest vet to my house. We boarded our dogs there before they discontinued it so they knew the boys pretty well.

They'd give us a call whenever Mac came in - big goofy shit-eating grin on his face. Happened 2-3 times. And Winston (the rot) is just a bit notorious.

06-23-2023, 01:41 PM
seclark MVP Join Date: Aug 2000 Location: nemo Casino cash: $1419900	Critters Spell them however you want, but I do it possums. Nasty looking creatures,but they have their place in nature. I’ve recently learned that they eat ticks, so good for them. I believe in conservation. Anyway, I’m laying in bed this morning reading, and my wife walks in, pretty wired for that time of day. Normally, she’s getting ready to go downstairs to her office. Instead she’s saying, “Zeke has a giant dead possum on the front porch!”. Zeke is a 125lb chocolate lab. He’s 3 years old and he runs this patch of timber and a pond. He’s terrible about killing critters and bringing them to the front door. Pain in the ass. Anyway, I get up and go look out my office window, and there’s old Zeke laying there sleeping in the sun with his head about a foot away from a big, fat, bloody possum. ****! So, I went out to the garage and found one right handed glove. I opened the garage door, then I opened the tailgate of my truck. As I walked out of the garage, I noticed a trail of blood coming from the woods behind my house,across the carport, then along around the sidewalk in front of the house to the front porch. A bloody trail. I pulled on the glove and picked up the corpse by the tail. Zeke perked up and followed me back to the truck where I tossed the dead object in the bed. I drove off around a hill to a bridge and chucked it over the edge. I came home to find my wife outside with a bucket of bleach and a sponge, cleaning up the murder scene. Zeke was sitting next to her, nipping at her ponytail. I asked her if she knew where his mouth had been. sec
Posts: 13,403

06-23-2023, 01:44 PM	#2
Katipan MER Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: Colorado Casino cash: $2550351	I love how you keep your one handed gloves just in case. __________________ "Loving him is red."
Posts: 22,808	1 0

06-23-2023, 01:54 PM	#4
Rain Man NFL's #1 Ermines Fan Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: My house Casino cash: $3048491 VARSITY	A murder scene and a one-armed glove. I think I know this movie. If Tommy Lee Jones shows up, run. __________________ I'm putting random letters here as a celebration of free speech: xigrakgrah misorojeq rkemeseit.
Posts: 141,663	4 0

06-23-2023, 01:56 PM	#6
booger Don't Tug on Superman's Cape Join Date: Sep 2002 Location: clear out in the sticks Casino cash: $1238550	The males have a forked penis __________________ 2 Chronicles 7:14 If my people, which are called by my name, shall humble themselves, and pray, and seek my face, and turn from their wicked ways; then will I hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin, and will heal their land.
Posts: 12,512

06-23-2023, 01:58 PM	#7
Katipan MER Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: Colorado Casino cash: $2550351	If the wife is tied to the porch with a chain, It'll sell. __________________ "Loving him is red."
Posts: 22,808

06-23-2023, 02:05 PM	#9
booger Don't Tug on Superman's Cape Join Date: Sep 2002 Location: clear out in the sticks Casino cash: $1238550	They sure are ugly bastards you’re right. Looks like a meth eating rat **ed a yorkie. I didn’t know about the tick eating part. Makes a guy want to shoot them a bit less __________________ 2 Chronicles 7:14** If my people, which are called by my name, shall humble themselves, and pray, and seek my face, and turn from their wicked ways; then will I hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin, and will heal their land.
Posts: 12,512

06-23-2023, 02:10 PM	#10
DJ's left nut Sauntering Vaguely Downwards Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: Columbia, Mo Casino cash: $2729099	I've had (counts on fingers) five labs. My 'big' lab didn't hit 100 lbs until he got old and a little bit fat; was 90 lbs most of his life. And he has that big ol' English bone structure (beautiful dog). A 125 lb lab at 4 yrs old is !@#$ing MASSIVE. __________________ "If there's a god, he's laughing at us.....and our football team..." "When you look at something through rose colored glasses, all the red flags just look like flags."
Posts: 60,763

06-23-2023, 02:11 PM	#11
booger Don't Tug on Superman's Cape Join Date: Sep 2002 Location: clear out in the sticks Casino cash: $1238550	Pup sounds like a good boy! Trained well. I’d say he deserves a couple hard boiled eggs and fried chicken hearts liver and gizzards for a nice treat __________________ 2 Chronicles 7:14 If my people, which are called by my name, shall humble themselves, and pray, and seek my face, and turn from their wicked ways; then will I hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin, and will heal their land.
Posts: 12,512

06-23-2023, 02:22 PM	#13
Bearcat Would an idiot do that? Join Date: Nov 2000 Location: Arizona Casino cash: $2544931	__________________
Posts: 55,640	8 0