Two Meth Fueled Psycho Stories to kick off 2020!

[gblowfish]

Meth news is the best news!
Story #1 from Carthage, Missouri:
https://www.riverfronttimes.com/news...d3Qul6SEM0KP1A

In what is surely an early contender for "most Mad-Libs-ian crime of the 2020s," a meth-addled Oklahoma carjacker is in custody after abducting a man and his pet goat from outside of a porn store in Missouri this week.

(In other words: We're only two days into 2020 and already it's become clear that the surrealist through-the-looking-glass bullshit that permeated the tail end of the 2010s will be following us into the new decade. Great.)

The Kansas City Star reports that the incident happened in the early hours of New Year's Day, when two men and a goat traveling by pickup parked outside of an adult video store in Carthage, Missouri, about four hours southwest of St. Louis.

One of the men went inside the store, while the goat and its owner slept in the truck. When that man awoke, according to KOTV in Tulsa, he found that a carjacker had stolen the vehicle and was pointing a gun at his head.

Brandon Kirby, 40, then allegedly drove the truck through three states — Missouri, Kansas and Oklahoma — while doing meth and pistol-whipping his frightened passenger. According to police, Kirby eventually let the man and the goat out of the truck in Creek County, Oklahoma, where the man promptly called 911.

Police were able to contact the truck's OnStar service to track the vehicle and slow it down to about 15 miles per hour, KOTV reports, and they subsequently used stop sticks to puncture the truck's tires in Sand Springs, Oklahoma. After a trooper rammed the vehicle into a ditch, Kirby reportedly fled the truck on foot.

Police say he dropped a mask and a gun while he was running, which they recovered. Kirby was found hiding in some tall grass near a drainage ditch after a brief pursuit on foot.

Kirby was charged with kidnapping, pointing firearms and felony possession of a firearm, according to The Kansas City Star. KOTV reports that Kirby had recently been released from prison, and was wanted in Osage County for second-degree burglary.

"OK 2020, it only took you 4.5 hours to get weird," the Sand Springs Police Department said on Facebook. "Let's slow down on the carjacking-goat-napping calls for the remainder of the year."

No word on the status of that poor goat.

Story #2 from Oregon: Case of the Public Wanker and the Dozen Cops:

https://www.thefix.com/content/orego...resists-arrest

Andrew Frey claims he has no recollection of the string of bizarre events that involved methamphetamine, tasers, and public masturbation.

Andrew Frey from Beaverton, OR, claims his consumption of meth caused him to have no recollection of a string of events last week that culminated in a confrontation with more than 12 police officers as he put on a public display of what most people do in private.

Apparently Frey, 37, began his afternoon by refusing to pay a locksmith that he had hired. Then he walked over to a local market and refused to leave. After being escorted from the market by an employee, Frey walked to Iggy’s Bar & Grill where, according to a bartender, he exposed himself and started masturbating and police were called. When the Marion County deputy arrived, Frey had already moved on to the restroom, where he was still apparently enjoying his own company.

Frey resisted arrest, fought with the deputy, and was zapped by a taser several times. According to officials, the stun gun had no effect and more than a dozen officers were called to the bar inside to subdue him.

Later, Frey told officials that he had used methamphetamine the previous day and had no memory of his bizarre behavior. He was charged with theft, resisting arrest, and public indecency.

[WhawhaWhat]

Certainly a shocking story when you hear that adult video stores still exist.

[rabblerouser]

Meth is a helluva drug?

[Flying High D]

How can you be driven through 3 states and not have a chance to escape? You damn well know he might in Oklahoma went through toll booths. He had to stop and get fuel.

[kstater]

Originally Posted by Flying High D

How can you be driven through 3 states and not have a chance to escape? You damn well know he might in Oklahoma went through toll booths. He had to stop and get fuel.

It’s not really hard to hit kansas and Oklahoma from Carthage.


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[Bugeater]

Just a couple bad apples. I'm sure there's plenty of decent meth users out there.

[Bugeater]

Originally Posted by kstater

It’s not really hard to hit kansas and Oklahoma from Carthage.


Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk

That's like a 20 minute drive.

[Fish]

I thought I was the only one who took their goat to the porn store....

[Fat Elvis]

Originally Posted by WhawhaWhat

Certainly a shocking story when you hear that adult video stores still exist.

I don't think folks in MO got the memo that there is this thing called "the internet;" there are adult video/book stores every 20 feet in that state.

[Kman34]

Originally Posted by Fish

I thought I was the only one who took their goat to the porn store....

[Fish]

Originally Posted by Fat Elvis

I don't think folks in MO got the memo that there is this thing called "the internet;" there are adult video/book stores every 20 feet in that state.

[rabblerouser]

Originally Posted by Bugeater

Just a couple bad apples. I'm sure there's plenty of decent meth users out there.

[Chief Roundup]

It can't get anymore unreal that a goat at a porn store sleeping with a dude or masturbation in Beaverton.