Funny Stuff Clean jokes can be funny too! - Page 10

Frankie · 10-10-2005, 05:57 PM

Hey Bio, come up for air dude. You are postin'em faster than we can read'em.

Frankie · 10-13-2005, 01:32 PM

A man traveling down a country road was forced to stop before a giant puddle covering the entire road. Looking to the side of the road, the man noticed a farmer leaning on a fence.

"Think it's safe to cross?" the man asked.

"I reckon so," replied the farmer.

The car was immediately swallowed by the puddle as the man drove in. In fact, it was so deep that he had to roll his window down to swim out of his car back to the surface. As his head broke the surface the man said to the farmer, "I thought you said I could safely drive through this puddle!"

"Well, shoot!" said the farmer, scratching his head. "It only come up chest-high on my ducks!"

C-Mac · 10-13-2005, 01:39 PM

A couple drove several miles down a country road, not saying a
word. An earlier discussion had led to an argument, and
neither wanted to concede their position.

As they passed a barnyard of mules and pigs, the wife
sarcastically asked, "Relatives of yours?"

"Yep," the husband replied, "In-laws."

Frankie · 10-13-2005, 01:44 PM

'Vegetarian'

=An old Indian word meaning 'lousy hunter.'

plbrdude · 10-14-2005, 11:30 AM

>>Little Tommy was in the 4th grade class when the teacher asked the
>>>children what their fathers did for a living. All of the typical
>>>answers
>>>came up fireman, policeman, salesman, etc...Tommy was being
>>>uncharacteristically quiet and so the teacher asked him about his
>>>father.
>>>
>>>"My father's an exotic dancer in a gay club and takes off all his
>>>clothes in front of other men. Sometimes, if the offers really
>>>good,
>>>he'll go out to the alley with some guy and make love with him for
>>>money.
>>>
>>>The teacher, obviously shaken by this statement, hurriedly set the
>>>other
>>>children to work on some coloring, and took little Tommy aside to
>>>ask
>>>him, "Is that really true about your father?"
>>>
>>>"No," said Tommy," He plays for the Chiefs, but I was too
>>>embarrassed to
>>>say so."
>>>

joesomebody · 10-14-2005, 12:05 PM

Did you hear that since the Clinton Administration, there is an 11th commandment?

Thou shall not use thy rod on thy staff

joesomebody · 10-14-2005, 12:23 PM

What did Sam Houston's wife say to her lawyer during her divorce?

Remember the Alimo-ny!

Simplex3 · 10-14-2005, 12:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by joesomebody

What did Sam Houston's wife say to her lawyer during her divorce?

Remember the Alimo-ny!

Otter · 10-14-2005, 12:35 PM

Me and Iowanian are out walking around hunting when we come across a sheep with his head caught in a fence. I run up, pull down my pants and screw the sheep.

When I'm done I look over at Iowanian and say "your turn".

Next thing I know Iowanian throws down his gun, runs up, pulls down his pants and sticks his head in the fence.

Frankie · 10-14-2005, 12:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Otter

Me and Iowanian are out walking around hunting when we come across a sheep with his head caught in a fence. I run up, pull down my pants and screw the sheep.

When I'm done I look over at Iowanian and say "your turn".

Next thing I know Iowanian throws down his gun, runs up, pulls down his pants and sticks his head in the fence.

Funny, but shoulda been posted in the "Friday goof off" thread not in the "CLEAN" jokes thread.

**RealSNR** · 10-14-2005, 12:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Otter

Me and Iowanian are out walking around hunting when we come across a sheep with his head caught in a fence. I run up, pull down my pants and screw the sheep.

When I'm done I look over at Iowanian and say "your turn".

Next thing I know Iowanian throws down his gun, runs up, pulls down his pants and sticks his head in the fence.

Frankie · 10-14-2005, 12:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by joesomebody

What did Sam Houston's wife say to her lawyer during her divorce?

Remember the Alimo-ny!

That one sounds a little home-made.

joesomebody · 10-14-2005, 12:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Frankie

That one sounds a little home-made.

I'm sure I didn't word it exactly how it was, but a history professor I had was full of crap like these... for some reason this is the only one I remember though.

**Lzen** · 10-14-2005, 01:09 PM

White Trash Survival Kit

Toilet Paper...........................................................check

Bud Light..............................................................check

Keystone Ice...........................................................check

Budweiser..............................................................check

Red Dog................................................................check

Misc. other bottles of alcohol.........................................check

Piece of plywood to float your chick and booze on......................check

joesomebody · 10-14-2005, 12:56 PM

If women with large breasts work at hooters, where do women with one leg work?

IHOP!

10-10-2005, 05:57 PM	#1
Frankie Banned Join Date: Jul 2001 Casino cash: $10004900	Hey Bio, come up for air dude. You are postin'em faster than we can read'em.
Posts: 26,959

10-13-2005, 01:32 PM	#2
Frankie Banned Join Date: Jul 2001 Casino cash: $10004900	A man traveling down a country road was forced to stop before a giant puddle covering the entire road. Looking to the side of the road, the man noticed a farmer leaning on a fence. "Think it's safe to cross?" the man asked. "I reckon so," replied the farmer. The car was immediately swallowed by the puddle as the man drove in. In fact, it was so deep that he had to roll his window down to swim out of his car back to the surface. As his head broke the surface the man said to the farmer, "I thought you said I could safely drive through this puddle!" "Well, shoot!" said the farmer, scratching his head. "It only come up chest-high on my ducks!"
Posts: 26,959

10-13-2005, 01:39 PM	#3
C-Mac Lurker Extraordinaire Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: Wally World Casino cash: $2183699	A couple drove several miles down a country road, not saying a word. An earlier discussion had led to an argument, and neither wanted to concede their position. As they passed a barnyard of mules and pigs, the wife sarcastically asked, "Relatives of yours?" "Yep," the husband replied, "In-laws."
Posts: 5,632

10-13-2005, 01:44 PM	#4
Frankie Banned Join Date: Jul 2001 Casino cash: $10004900	'Vegetarian' =An old Indian word meaning 'lousy hunter.'
Posts: 26,959

10-14-2005, 11:30 AM	#5
plbrdude turd herder extraordiaire Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: hickville,mo Casino cash: $9997165	>>Little Tommy was in the 4th grade class when the teacher asked the >>>children what their fathers did for a living. All of the typical >>>answers >>>came up fireman, policeman, salesman, etc...Tommy was being >>>uncharacteristically quiet and so the teacher asked him about his >>>father. >>> >>>"My father's an exotic dancer in a gay club and takes off all his >>>clothes in front of other men. Sometimes, if the offers really >>>good, >>>he'll go out to the alley with some guy and make love with him for >>>money. >>> >>>The teacher, obviously shaken by this statement, hurriedly set the >>>other >>>children to work on some coloring, and took little Tommy aside to >>>ask >>>him, "Is that really true about your father?" >>> >>>"No," said Tommy," He plays for the Chiefs, but I was too >>>embarrassed to >>>say so." >>>
Posts: 2,249

10-14-2005, 12:05 PM	#6
joesomebody Waiting to be voted off Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: Baltimore, MD Casino cash: $9994900	Did you hear that since the Clinton Administration, there is an 11th commandment? Thou shall not use thy rod on thy staff
Posts: 2,584

10-14-2005, 12:23 PM	#7
joesomebody Waiting to be voted off Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: Baltimore, MD Casino cash: $9994900	What did Sam Houston's wife say to her lawyer during her divorce? Remember the Alimo-ny!
Posts: 2,584

10-14-2005, 12:56 PM	#15
joesomebody Waiting to be voted off Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: Baltimore, MD Casino cash: $9994900	If women with large breasts work at hooters, where do women with one leg work? IHOP!
Posts: 2,584