Frozen Pizza and Life

[Rain Man]

I went to the grocery store tonight to hunt dinner, and decided that a frozen pizza was the way to go. The village cheered when I brought it home, and we used every part of it as part of our pact with The Great Creator in the Sky.

But anyway, back to the point.

Our grocery store arranges the frozen pizzas by price. On the far left, you've got the Totinos and other stuff that's food in name only. Then you move to the right with Tony's and then Red Baron and Home Run (blech) in the middle. As you move further right you get to the highest-priced stuff like DiGiorno and the overpriced California pizza kitchen.

As I stared at the pizza freezers making my decision, I had an epiphany about life. I thought back to my high school days when I was more or less a third worlder, and in those days there was no option but Totino's. I ate it and I liked it because it was a treat. I didn't get it very often.

Then I got into college and actually did okay on money, and I graduated to Tony's where possible, going the Totino's route only when money got tight. After graduation, when I got a real job, it was Tony's all the way for years.

Then I got married. Dual income, no kids, and frankly it wasn't an issue to pay more for a frozen pizza. I stood at the freezers tonight and grabbed a DiGiorno for $8.49, an act that would have been unthinkable for the first half of my life.

I'm in my prime earning years right now, making reasonable money with few financial worries. If I want to eat out of the right side of the pizza case, I can do it. No problem.

But a time will come when I can't eat out of the right side. I'll retire and I'll have to watch my money and my savings will dwindle, and at some point I'll start eating Tony's again. But this time I'll eat Tony's with the memory of once having DiGiorno. That might make my pizza night melancholy.

And the end of the story is inevitable. I'll be an old man sitting in my house watching TV, and I'll heat up my Totino's pizza and I'll consider it a treat because I don't get to have it very often. Eventually the police will do a welfare check because I'm not paying my property taxes, and they'll find my mummified body in a chair, holding a piece of mummified Totino's.

I wish they would rearrange that pizza freezer.

[lewdog]

Originally Posted by gblowfish

Papa Murphy's is the closest I come to frozen pizza. And it's not frozen.

Not much gets over your head George, but clearly we aren't talking about that. Any dummy would choose Papa Murphy's over a frozen pizza! I love me some P-Murphs!

[Reaper16]

Originally Posted by lewdog

Not much gets over your head George, but clearly we aren't talking about that. Any dummy would choose Papa Murphy's over a frozen pizza! I love me some P-Murphs!

P-Murphs!
Pappy Murf!
Daddy M-Dawg's!
'Phy's!

[Rain Man]

I'm not sure that the greater meaning of the frozen pizza freezer is being discussed here.

[Mr. Laz]

Those little Red Baron pizzas are surprisingly decent all things considered

Small enough for a snack.


toss the extra shredded cheese on them and you're good to go

[fairladyZ]

digarno'sstuffed crust is the only way to go.. For 8.50 i hope it was stuffed crust@

[lewdog]

Speaking of life, does anyone know which brands of pizza are covered by food stamps or can I choose the higher costing ones?

[Pepe Silvia]

Originally Posted by TribalElder

**** Tonys

eat Jenos



Also, freschetta brick oven for the win

I didn't know they made Jenos anymore, I thought Totino's bought 'em out of the shitty pizza business?

[TribalElder]

Originally Posted by Rain Man

I'm not sure that the greater meaning of the frozen pizza freezer is being discussed here.

Looking past the cycle of life we all got distracted by shitty pizza

[rocknrolla]

Originally Posted by Buzz

DiGiorno for $8.49, no thanks,

For $5.00 get fast and ready. Much better and dont have to cook.

[lewdog]

Originally Posted by rocknrolla

For $5.00 get fast and ready. Much better and dont have to cook.

I guess you missed the frozen part of this convo, Eddie.

[Rain Man]

Originally Posted by fairladyZ

digarno'sstuffed crust is the only way to go.. For 8.50 i hope it was stuffed crust@

It was garlic crust. I almost went with the stuffed crust, but my wife's not crazy about it.

[Rain Man]

Originally Posted by TribalElder

Looking past the cycle of life we all got distracted by shitty pizza

Y'know, I can understand that.

[Pitt Gorilla]

I LOVE Red Barron Special Deluxe pizza. It's outstanding and costs $3 or less at HyVee. My kids love it too.

[rocknrolla]

Originally Posted by lewdog

I guess you missed the frozen part of this convo, Eddie.

Really Lew, for $5 bucks, fast & ready is nothing but frozen cooked for you.

[listopencil]

Originally Posted by Rain Man

I think some of you are already dead. Or at least your taste buds are.

Take a shitty frozen pizza and put it in the microwave. Heat it until the crust is soft and the "cheese" is very melted. Then dump hot sauce on it and roll it like a burrito. Bam, I just made your twilight years a bit more livable.