Gladiator 2018 - Round 1, Match 14 - Fire Me Boy! versus CHENZ A!

[Rain Man]

Vote for the person that you think would win this match in a battle to death or submission. As background, assume that prior to the tournament you received 10 minutes of training on every weapon. The time listed is the amount of time before the match where you learn what the weaponry and venue is.

Venue - Contestant 1 is at the top of an upward-moving escalator and Contestant 2 is at the bottom. The escalator is the only space in the venue.
Starting Distance - 99 feet

Fire Me Boy!

Main Weapon - Pirate cutlass
Backup Weapon - None

Prep Time - 5 Minutes
Special Factors - You have been blood doping in anticipation of the fight (boosting your red blood cell count for higher endurance)

CHENZ A!

Main Weapon - Chain Saw
Backup Weapon - None

Prep Time - 7 Minutes
Special Factors - Snowshoes are tied to your feet

[Hydrae]

Originally Posted by Detoxing

Alright, this is how this happens:

The two of them sweat nervously as the escalator draws them closer to combat. Both weapons ready, they clash at the center of the escalator. The Chainsaw is intimidating, but too heavy to be nimble, as Chenza swings clumsly and the two weapons collide.

The chainsaw breaks the cutlass in half, and the force knocks the the sword from Fire Me's hands, but one of the links on the chain breaks as well, rendering the chainsaw useless....

On the 2nd pass they are forced into hand to hand combat. Fire Me Boy is able to outlast Chenza because of his blood doping and carb loading from a delicious plate of home made pasta. Chenza wears out and Fire Me Boy is eventually able to throw him over the edge of the escalator. Chenza gets impaled on half the cutlass that's protruding from the ground.

The only problem with this scenario is that it is only one escalator, headed upwards. FMB is going to have a hard time moving downward and might as just wait at the top.

I do still think FMB wins due to having the high ground and the more nimble weapon.

[MagicHef]

Wow, I want to watch this one.

[TLO]

FMB gets distracted by a poster of "The World's Best Lasagna" on the escalator ride down. He trips, and begins rolling down the escalator towards the chainsaw. In a desperate attempt, FMB launches the cutlass towards Chenz, but it misses its mark.

Chenz with the win

[Dartgod]

Originally Posted by TLO

FMB gets distracted by a poster of "The World's Best Lasagna" on the escalator ride down. He trips, and begins rolling down the escalator towards the chainsaw. In a desperate attempt, FMB launches the cutlass towards Chenz, but it misses its mark.

Chenz with the win

Votes placed by those that fail at reading comprehension should be voided.

[TLO]

Originally Posted by Dartgod

Votes placed by those that fail at reading comprehension should be voided.

Shit... I read through the OP too quickly.

FMB wins without my vote anyway.

[threebag]

Fire Me Boy doesn't stand a chance against the chainsaw

[Chiefs4TheWin]

Does the escalator end forcing fire me boy to climb down the stairs to avoid falling off?

[Rain Man]

Originally Posted by Chiefs4TheWin

Does the escalator end forcing fire me boy to climb down the stairs to avoid falling off?

You may assume that the top of the escalator disappears into a wall, like it's in the Winchester House.

[Rain Man]

Fire Me Boy! dispatches Chenz A! with the cutlass, but on the way down CHENZ A! slices off Fire Me Boy!'s toes with his chain saw. At least, I think that's what happened. Either way, Fire Me Boy! moves on to Round 2.

[Fire Me Boy!]

Yay. I think.

Are damages in R1 considered in R2?

[Rain Man]

Originally Posted by Fire Me Boy!

Yay. I think.

Are damages in R1 considered in R2?

Nope. We offer high-quality medical care between matches. Unless it's a concussion, in which case we just tell you to get back out there.

[CHENZ A!]

nuts and bolts

[Baby Lee]

Originally Posted by Rain Man

You may assume that the top of the escalator disappears into a wall, like it's in the Winchester House.

And as the late Mitch Hedburg pointed out, an escalator can never break. It can only become stairs.