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03-29-2006, 02:00 PM | #241 |
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Three guys, stranded on a desert island, find a magic lantern containing a genie, who grants them each one wish. The first guy wishes he was off the island and back home. The second guy wishes the same. The third guy says "I’m lonely. I wish my friends were back here.
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03-29-2006, 02:03 PM | #242 |
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I'm sure everyone has heard this one,
A guy joins a monastery and takes a vow of silence: he’s allowed to say two words every seven years. After the first seven years, the elders bring him in and ask for his two words. "Cold floors," he says. They nod and send him away. Seven more years pass. They bring him back in and ask for his two words. He clears his throats and says, "Bad food." They nod and send him away. Seven more years pass. They bring him in for his two words. "I quit," he says. "That’s not surprising," the elders say. "You’ve done nothing but complain since you got here. |
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03-29-2006, 03:20 PM | #243 |
Whip it, whip it good.
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What happened to the Friday goof off post thread? Did it get deleted while I was absent from the "Planet" these past months?
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03-29-2006, 04:26 PM | #244 | |
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Quote:
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03-29-2006, 04:42 PM | #245 |
Supporter
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Only in Minnesota
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03-29-2006, 04:50 PM | #246 | |
Because I can
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Quote:
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03-30-2006, 09:56 AM | #247 | |
Banned
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Quote:
Mods... can you bring it back? |
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03-30-2006, 10:23 AM | #248 | |
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Quote:
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03-30-2006, 12:36 PM | #249 |
Supporter
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03-30-2006, 09:36 PM | #250 |
Starter
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TO BE 6 AGAIN
A man was sitting on the edge of the bed, observing his wife turning back and forth, looking at herself in the mirror. Since her birthday was not far off, he asked what she'd like to have for her Birthday. I'd like to be six again, she replied, still looking in the mirror. On the morning of her Birthday, he arose early, made her a nice big bowl of Lucky Charms, and then took her to Six Flags theme park. What a day ! He put her on every ride in the park; the Death Slide, the Wall of Fear, the Screaming Monster Roller Coaster... everything there was. Five hours Later they staggered out of the theme park. Her head was reeling and her stomach felt upside down. He then took her to a McDonald's where he ordered her a Happy Meal with extra fries and a chocolate shake. Then it was off to a movie, popcorn, a soda pop, andher favorite candy,M&M's. What a fabulous adventure ! Finally she wobbled home with her husband and collapsed into bed exhausted. He leaned over his wife with a big smile and lovingly asked, Well Dear, what was it like being six again ?? Her eyes slowly opened and her ___expression suddenly changed. I meant my Dress Size, you idiot !! The moral of the story: Even when a man is listening, he is going to get it wrong. |
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03-30-2006, 09:48 PM | #251 |
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Good joke until the moral part.
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03-31-2006, 01:03 AM | #252 | |
Homer go crazy!!!
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Quote:
Yup, we men are just wrong by virtue of being men. |
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03-31-2006, 10:10 AM | #253 | |
Whip it, whip it good.
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Quote:
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03-31-2006, 10:36 AM | #254 | ||
Like I woke up in Wonderland..
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Quote:
I take it you've seen Desperado, too
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03-31-2006, 01:15 PM | #255 |
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At school, a boy is told by a classmate that most adults are hiding at least one dark secret, and that this makes it very easy to blackmail them by saying, I know the whole truth -- even when you don't know anything. The boy decides to go home and try it out. As he is greeted by his mother at the front door he says, I know the whole truth. His mother quickly hands him $20 and says, Just don't tell your father.
Quite pleased, the boy waits for his father to get home from work, and greets him with, I know the whole truth. The father promptly hands him $40 and says, Please don't say a word to your mother. Very pleased, the boy is on his way to school the next day, when he sees the mailman at his front door. The boy greets him by saying, I know the whole truth. The mailman drops the mail, opens his arms and says, Then come give your dad a big hug. |
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