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| View Poll Results: Where do you direct the meteor? | |||
| Canada – lots of northward expansion opportunity |
   
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1 | 1.67% |
| California – no more granola-eating, sandal-wearing longhairs |
  
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5 | 8.33% |
| Denver – no more marijuana-toking fans of cheating football teams |
  
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6 | 10.00% |
| Oakland – Commitment to extinction, baby. |
  
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2 | 3.33% |
| New York – no more east coast bias |
  
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1 | 1.67% |
| New England - I don't like their accents, and they've gotten enough breaks already with Brady. |
  
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2 | 3.33% |
| Texas – no more big hair, big hats, and overrated barbecue |
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2 | 3.33% |
| Mississippi – let West Virginia rank last for a while |
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1 | 1.67% |
| Some other jurisdiction in the U.S. (specify below) – Your cream soda and cheese steaks are not the best |
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0 | 0% |
| Cuba – you want contact? Here’s contact |
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0 | 0% |
| Mexico – no need to build that wall now |
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0 | 0% |
| Some country in central America or the Caribbean (specify below) – no more walls, no more aggressive vendors at cruise ports |
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0 | 0% |
| Some South American country (specify below) – no more hiding Nazis |
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0 | 0% |
| Some central African country (specify below) – let’s knock the wind out of the ebola virus |
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0 | 0% |
| Some southern African country (specify below) – let’s knock the wind out of the AIDS virus |
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0 | 0% |
| Some other African country (specify below) – I’m not racist. I just don’t like them. |
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0 | 0% |
| Some European country (specify below) – no more smug socialism |
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1 | 1.67% |
| Russia – Reagan outlawed you. I'm here to serve the warrant. |
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2 | 3.33% |
| Palestine – well, that problem is finally settled (dusting off hands) |
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1 | 1.67% |
| Israel – Okay, there. It’s gone. Are you satisfied, muslim world? |
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2 | 3.33% |
| Egypt – You haven’t been productive in 4,000 years. Let’s try a reboot. |
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0 | 0% |
| Syria – Just go away. Syriasly. |
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9 | 15.00% |
| Afghanistan – Kabul? No, kaboom. You have been tali-banned. |
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0 | 0% |
| Iran – Stuxnet’s not such a big deal now, is it? Is it? Rocky Sickmann says bye. |
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7 | 11.67% |
| Iraq – Babylon is gone, baby. Babylon is long gone. |
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2 | 3.33% |
| Saudi Arabia – Seriously, no bikinis? You deserve this. |
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5 | 8.33% |
| Some other middle eastern country (specify below) – Because I can only take out one. |
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0 | 0% |
| Libya – Okay, now we’re even for that Pan Am thing and shooting Dr. Emmett Brown |
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0 | 0% |
| Somalia – I got your failed state and pirates right here (grabbing crotch) |
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0 | 0% |
| India – Seriously, there’s just too many of you. Let's be honest. We all know that. |
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0 | 0% |
| Bangladesh – You’re just one monsoon away anyway. |
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0 | 0% |
| China – I support American manufacturing and am ticked off about Tibet |
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3 | 5.00% |
| Vietnam – Okay, now we’re tied. |
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1 | 1.67% |
| North Korea – Remember the Sony-mo! |
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1 | 1.67% |
| Some other Asian country (specify below) – no more human trafficking and cheap restaurant delivery |
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0 | 0% |
| Some Oceanic country (specify below) – I’m jealous of people who live on tropical islands. |
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1 | 1.67% |
| Some research station in Antarctica – It’ll make a nice soft plop and not hurt too many people |
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2 | 3.33% |
| Other place not specified (specify below) – I will specify a custom place to liquefy. |
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3 | 5.00% |
| Voters: 60. You may not vote on this poll | |||
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Thread Tools | Display Modes |
02-17-2015, 08:56 PM
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NFL's #1 Ermines Fan
Join Date: Jul 2001
Location: My house
Casino cash: $3288491
 VARSITY
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Hypothetical: Depopulating a region
Here's the situation:
You take a tour of Cape Canaveral, and put a dollar into one of those glass donations things at the end. All of a sudden, bells ring, confetti falls, balloons go every which way, and the Miami Dolphins cheerleaders begin dancing around you. You're their 10,000,000th visitor! As a prize, you get your choice of a 3-day Caribbean cruise, $1 million, or a job as an astronaut. Like any sane person, you select the astronaut job and join the corps. Ninety days later, you're swinging around in one of those centrifuge things alongside a chimpanzee when big news comes in. A large meteor is headed toward the earth. NASA immediately begins plans to intercept the meteor and redirect it using explosives. They identify a crack team of astronauts to man the mission. Unfortunately, one of the space suit technicians doesn't believe in vaccinating children, so he and all of the other astronauts get the measles, leaving only you and the chimpanzee, whose name is Hal. Needing four people, NASA assigns you, Hal the chimp, Senator John Glenn, and Hollywood legend Bruce Willis to the mission. You take off. Unfortunately, there is an incident en route, and Hal the chimpanzee eats the faces off of Bruce Willis and John Glenn. Fortunately, you were on a space walk at the time. Hal attempts to keep you locked out, but you gain access, use a mechanized fork lift to fend him off, and force him out of the air lock. That now poses another problem, because you need at least two primates to successfully divert the meteor. With only one of you, all you can do is direct where it'll hit on earth and how big the impact will be. Due to a very effective lobbying effort by PETA, you cannot send the meteor into the ocean or any uninhabited area. A direct hit will wipe out a particular region, killing the entire population. Where do you send it? Politically insensitive poll to follow. |
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Posts: 141,458
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02-17-2015, 09:03 PM
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#4 | |
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Special Teams ACE!!!
Join Date: Apr 2002
Location: Where the hell is SNR
Casino cash: $2330208
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Can I cut the meteor in half and send both parts towards Hiroshima AND Nagasaki?
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Posts: 90,464
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02-17-2015, 09:12 PM
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#6 |
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Rabbi Goldmann
Join Date: Nov 2012
Casino cash: $5450159
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Iran.
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Posts: 87,025
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02-17-2015, 09:25 PM
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#7 |
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Bolton gonna knock you out
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Free Vybz Kartel
Casino cash: $2672394
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I went Iraq, almost said Denver, but apparently too many Planeteers live near there. So Iraq is what I went with.
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Posts: 20,430
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02-17-2015, 09:48 PM
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#10 |
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MVP
Join Date: Sep 2005
Casino cash: $4901115
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Is it big enough to wipe out the entire Middle East?
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Posts: 60,264
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02-17-2015, 09:49 PM
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#11 | |
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Most Valuable Villain
Join Date: Dec 2006
Casino cash: $3075047
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Quote:
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Posts: 92,188
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02-17-2015, 09:52 PM
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#12 | |
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Supporter
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Seattle, WA
Casino cash: $10015467
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how do you direct a meteor and get to choose exactly where it lands if the earth is rotating? if that's the case just land it in the pacific ocean somewhere or direct it, you know, away from earth altogether
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Posts: 2,641
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02-17-2015, 09:57 PM
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#13 |
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Sprinkle in some Mahomes
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Butte Montana
Casino cash: $7678507
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Saudi Arabia, They are laughing every time they pay for these other middle east countries to do their dirty work.
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Posts: 8,270
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02-17-2015, 10:08 PM
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#15 |
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Gimme My Berries Back!
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: None of your business
Casino cash: $3439963
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I would direct off path away from earth toward Mars. We don't need no stinkin' Mars.
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Posts: 161,839
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Hypothetical: Depopulating a region
Linear Mode
