Frozen Pizza and Life

[Rain Man]

I went to the grocery store tonight to hunt dinner, and decided that a frozen pizza was the way to go. The village cheered when I brought it home, and we used every part of it as part of our pact with The Great Creator in the Sky.

But anyway, back to the point.

Our grocery store arranges the frozen pizzas by price. On the far left, you've got the Totinos and other stuff that's food in name only. Then you move to the right with Tony's and then Red Baron and Home Run (blech) in the middle. As you move further right you get to the highest-priced stuff like DiGiorno and the overpriced California pizza kitchen.

As I stared at the pizza freezers making my decision, I had an epiphany about life. I thought back to my high school days when I was more or less a third worlder, and in those days there was no option but Totino's. I ate it and I liked it because it was a treat. I didn't get it very often.

Then I got into college and actually did okay on money, and I graduated to Tony's where possible, going the Totino's route only when money got tight. After graduation, when I got a real job, it was Tony's all the way for years.

Then I got married. Dual income, no kids, and frankly it wasn't an issue to pay more for a frozen pizza. I stood at the freezers tonight and grabbed a DiGiorno for $8.49, an act that would have been unthinkable for the first half of my life.

I'm in my prime earning years right now, making reasonable money with few financial worries. If I want to eat out of the right side of the pizza case, I can do it. No problem.

But a time will come when I can't eat out of the right side. I'll retire and I'll have to watch my money and my savings will dwindle, and at some point I'll start eating Tony's again. But this time I'll eat Tony's with the memory of once having DiGiorno. That might make my pizza night melancholy.

And the end of the story is inevitable. I'll be an old man sitting in my house watching TV, and I'll heat up my Totino's pizza and I'll consider it a treat because I don't get to have it very often. Eventually the police will do a welfare check because I'm not paying my property taxes, and they'll find my mummified body in a chair, holding a piece of mummified Totino's.

I wish they would rearrange that pizza freezer.

[mikeyis4dcats.]

you can't tell me with a straight face that DiGiorno is 4 TIMES better than a Tony's.

[TribalElder]

**** Tonys

eat Jenos



Also, freschetta brick oven for the win

[Reaper16]

Originally Posted by mikeyis4dcats.

you can't tell me with a straight face that DiGiorno is 4 TIMES better than a Tony's.

I never buy DiGiorno, ever. But if you held me at gunpoint and said "Pay me 9 bucks for this DiGiorno or eat this Tony's and I'll give you 9 dollars" I will absolutely be paying out of pocket for DiGiorno.

[Reaper16]

Originally Posted by TribalElder

**** Tonys

eat Jenos

Jenos is just a pickled asshole's facsimile of Totinos.

[TimBone]

Originally Posted by Reaper16

Jenos is just a pickled asshole's facsimile of Totinos.

Hahahahahahaha.....this.

[TimBone]

You know, I've never eaten a Tony's before.

I tried Jack's for the first time a couple of years ago and was surprised that I liked it. It looked like a knockoff brand to me.

I honestly don't care for digiorno.

[TribalElder]

Originally Posted by Reaper16

Jenos is just a pickled asshole's facsimile of Totinos.

it's a which shitty pizza is the shittiest faceoff

[Reaper16]

Originally Posted by TribalElder

it's a which shitty pizza is the shittiest faceoff

It totally is and also there has never been a battle I've been more prepared for.

[DaFace]

Eh, I still go for a crappy Totino's now and then.

[TribalElder]

Originally Posted by Reaper16

It totally is and also there has never been a battle I've been more prepared for.

Totino's and Jeno's are made by the same parent company, General Mills, and in the same plant in Wellston, Ohio [source]. They are essentially the same pizza but for the fact that "Jeno's by Totino's Crisp'n Tasty" pizzas are smaller and are billed as "Pizza For One" on the box. (The box pictured here must be an older version.)

Totino's Party Pizza is slightly bigger and as such would only feed a very sad party.


http://slice.seriouseats.com/archive...za-period.html

[Reaper16]

Originally Posted by TribalElder

Totino's and Jeno's are made by the same parent company, General Mills, and in the same plant in Wellston, Ohio [source]. They are essentially the same pizza but for the fact that "Jeno's by Totino's Crisp'n Tasty" pizzas are smaller and are billed as "Pizza For One" on the box. (The box pictured here must be an older version.)

Totino's Party Pizza is slightly bigger and as such would only feed a very sad party.


http://slice.seriouseats.com/archive...za-period.html

A guy I knew in college always crooned this sad song whenever he made a frozen pizza that went like "pizAAAAAA for onnnnnneeee."

[lewdog]

Red Baron is as cheap as I'll go.

[Dunerdr]

Bravo! This should be a movie. Don't call it rain man tho. Yano people will think your slow but good at math. Then they'll miss the pizza thing altogether.

[gblowfish]

Papa Murphy's is the closest I come to frozen pizza. And it's not frozen.

[BullJunkandIron]

Stone brothers for dinner, key and tomb. Welcome to my high school friends facebook.