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Old 07-27-2014, 08:13 PM  
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Frozen Pizza and Life
I went to the grocery store tonight to hunt dinner, and decided that a frozen pizza was the way to go. The village cheered when I brought it home, and we used every part of it as part of our pact with The Great Creator in the Sky.

But anyway, back to the point.

Our grocery store arranges the frozen pizzas by price. On the far left, you've got the Totinos and other stuff that's food in name only. Then you move to the right with Tony's and then Red Baron and Home Run (blech) in the middle. As you move further right you get to the highest-priced stuff like DiGiorno and the overpriced California pizza kitchen.

As I stared at the pizza freezers making my decision, I had an epiphany about life. I thought back to my high school days when I was more or less a third worlder, and in those days there was no option but Totino's. I ate it and I liked it because it was a treat. I didn't get it very often.

Then I got into college and actually did okay on money, and I graduated to Tony's where possible, going the Totino's route only when money got tight. After graduation, when I got a real job, it was Tony's all the way for years.

Then I got married. Dual income, no kids, and frankly it wasn't an issue to pay more for a frozen pizza. I stood at the freezers tonight and grabbed a DiGiorno for $8.49, an act that would have been unthinkable for the first half of my life.

I'm in my prime earning years right now, making reasonable money with few financial worries. If I want to eat out of the right side of the pizza case, I can do it. No problem.

But a time will come when I can't eat out of the right side. I'll retire and I'll have to watch my money and my savings will dwindle, and at some point I'll start eating Tony's again. But this time I'll eat Tony's with the memory of once having DiGiorno. That might make my pizza night melancholy.

And the end of the story is inevitable. I'll be an old man sitting in my house watching TV, and I'll heat up my Totino's pizza and I'll consider it a treat because I don't get to have it very often. Eventually the police will do a welfare check because I'm not paying my property taxes, and they'll find my mummified body in a chair, holding a piece of mummified Totino's.

I wish they would rearrange that pizza freezer.
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Old 07-28-2014, 09:30 AM   #76
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Old 07-28-2014, 10:18 AM   #77
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Probably the worst I've felt after eating frozen pizza was when I ate an entire Home Run Inn frozen pizza by myself. Nothing against the quality of that frozen pizza - it is well above average. But they put like a whole pound of cheese on those things. Too much food weight for solo consumption.
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Old 07-28-2014, 10:25 AM   #78
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Probably the worst I've felt after eating frozen pizza was when I ate an entire Home Run Inn frozen pizza by myself. Nothing against the quality of that frozen pizza - it is well above average. But they put like a whole pound of cheese on those things. Too much food weight for solo consumption.
HR frozen pizza sucks.
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Old 07-28-2014, 10:26 AM   #79
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We haven't done frozen pizza in years. We live in Florida, so anytime someone from St Louis comes to visit us we have them bring a block or 2 of Provel cheese for us. Then we make homemade Imos. And it's so much better than any frozen pizza, and most pizza places too.
This actually made me grimace.
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Old 07-28-2014, 10:39 AM   #80
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HR frozen pizza sucks.
I don't really disagree in that I think basically all frozen pizza sucks. But also I'm not listening to you about pizza, because I think Shakespeare's rules.
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Old 07-28-2014, 10:42 AM   #81
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I don't really disagree in that I think basically all frozen pizza sucks. But also I'm not listening to you about pizza, because I think Shakespeare's rules.
I don't think you should discard my opinion. I like Shakespeare's; it's very good. I just prefer G&D's.

I'd have a very hard time picking between G&D's and Pizza Glen in Clinton, though.
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Old 07-28-2014, 10:50 AM   #82
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The Dish Chicago style is pretty good... actually never went to the restaurant in Liberty when it was open, but buy their frozen pizza every once in a while. I think CPK is solid, and I see a buffalo chicken pizza... World Table or something like that... it was pretty good.
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Old 07-28-2014, 11:10 AM   #83
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Totino's is crap hated those things. My older brother always wanted mom to buy Totinos at the grocery I wanted Chef Boyardee. I went hungry or had on totino nights. As for crust someone said best in the frozen business. Good grief eat cardboard much? I dont think they spend much on dough just recycle cardboard. The sauce is bitter.

I am bitter that Totino's bought Jenos then infected pizza rolls with there nasty sauce.
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Old 07-28-2014, 11:14 AM   #84
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How dare someone badmouth ALDI Mama Cozy's frozen pizza. The mexican pizza's are yummy. I like the Fajita pizza and chicken taco pizza with chipotle.
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Old 07-28-2014, 11:22 AM   #85
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I like Red Baron the best. Never had Tonys.

To gay it up... Lean Cuisine three meat deep dish pizza is actually pretty good.
I love the French bread pizzas. Now we're really gaying it up. ****ing French...
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Old 07-28-2014, 11:24 AM   #86
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Totinos rocks, best crust in the biz by far... but they made a HUGE mistake when they got rid of their crumbly pork sausage with fennel seed in it, now its just little puke nuggets that are no different than any other brands bland sausage.

And yes, CPK is the most overpriced crap in the entire pizza aisle.
HOLY SHIT! I've been trying to solve this mystery for years. THAT'S what it is. The crumbly sausage is gone.
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Old 07-28-2014, 11:26 AM   #87
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We have 3 or 4 different pizza joints locally that sell $5 pizzas. It pains me to spend more than that on a frozen pizza that is an inferior product.
How is Eureka pizza? I haven't tried it yet but plan on it unless it's pure trash.
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Old 07-28-2014, 11:27 AM   #88
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I don't get down with all those exotic pizzas, but I'd rather have a sloth whisper a Deberg thread in my ear than eat another Aldi cheese pizza.
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Old 07-28-2014, 11:27 AM   #89
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I love the French bread pizzas. Now we're really gaying it up. ****ing French...
Ugh. Those Lean Cuisine and Swanson French bread pizzas are the. worst.

I actually like buying some French bread, slicing it, and applying some sauce, cheese, and some kind of meat. Those are fast, easy, and good.
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Old 07-28-2014, 11:32 AM   #90
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I don't think you should discard my opinion. I like Shakespeare's; it's very good. I just prefer G&D's.

I'd have a very hard time picking between G&D's and Pizza Glen in Clinton, though.
Clinton, MO? I'm rolling through there tomorrow as I'm working in KC this week. I'll have to order some lunch for pickup. What's the best?
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