Poop What's the WORST that you've had to shit?

teedubya · 11-25-2015, 09:55 AM

We need a good shit thread around here.

I've just had my personal worst. I'm currently in Romania and I can speak very little Romanian... none of the places that I went into would let me use their toilet... I had to do the turd-turtle walk of shame for about 1.5 miles back to the hotel, with super clenched muscles, while praying to the poop God. I barely made it back to my hotel room... and I shat a good 2 pounds worth.

I almost didn't make it multiple times. I had to do some lamase breathing to keep the beast within the confines of my colon.

And so this was a memorable life moment, one too shitty to post on Facebook, however perfect for CP.

What's the worst you had to shit? And did you make it to the toilet or nah?

Dayze · 11-25-2015, 09:56 AM

since having my gal bladder removed a few months ago, pretty much about 8 minutes after I eat anything, I need to shit NOW.

so, I've got that going for me.

**BigMeatballDave** · 11-25-2015, 10:00 AM

Usually any time I eat Mexican, Italian, and Chili it's the worst shit ever.

teedubya · 11-25-2015, 10:01 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dayze

since having my gal bladder removed a few months ago, pretty much about 8 minutes after I eat anything, I need to shit NOW.

so, I've got that going for me.

I bet that's healthy though... you probably don't eat as much fast food now. :-)

**BigMeatballDave** · 11-25-2015, 10:02 AM

I made some Alfredo last week and it looked like I shit out a gangbang from the night before.

Dayze · 11-25-2015, 10:04 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by teedubya

I bet that's healthy though... you probably don't eat as much fast food now. :-)

It's incredible.

sometimes if I even 'think' or crave certain foods, I have to shit.

but it sucks when I'm out with friends or family. I basically need a bathroom within sprinting distance anytime I eat now.

so that sort of sucks.

Grim · 11-25-2015, 10:10 AM

The worst for me was when I had to take a shit while waiting for my flight in John Wayne Airport.
All of the toilets had a line of people waiting to use them. I felt like I was going to shit myself while waiting in line.
Finally got into the stall. The toilet seat didn't appear to have any shit on it so I dropped trousers, spun around and plopped down on the toilet. That's when I noticed how HOT and sweaty the toilet seat was.
Didn't enjoy that bowel movement at all. Didn't help knowing that there was a line of people right behind me waiting to use the same toilet.... felt rushed.

KCUnited · 11-25-2015, 10:13 AM

I got some type of food poisoning at a resort in Mexico. The resort was set up where the rooms were separated from the restaurants by this long winding sidewalk through the jungle, lit up all romantical with torches. We were having dinner and without any warning it hit me. I got up from the table, left my wife sitting there, looked frantically for a bathroom, couldn't find one, so I duck walked as fast as I could down this winding path, weaving in and out of strolling couples holding hands til I got back to the room. My wife showed up 20 minutes later and I was completely naked, in a cold sweat, still sitting on the shitter like The Thinker.

kepp · 11-25-2015, 10:24 AM

Oh man...definitely during my family's last trip to Thailand to see my wife's family. It was about day 4 of eating the local food...which is awesome, but can mess with your insides. We had rented a van to go to the mountain region in the north. I started feeling the urge pretty soon after we started the trip, and it became urgent quickly. I discreetly told my wife I needed to stop at a bathroom, but as it turned out, the nearest was about 1/2 hour down the road. I was prairie-dogging the entire way. We finally get to the "rest stop" and, let me tell you, Thai rest stops are not like American rest stops on the interstates. The toilets were "squatty potties". So I squatted and exploded....all over. The locals probably thought John Rambo was in the area again with his M60. Then, to "flush", you pour a bucket of water in and hope it goes down. It didn't. I cleaned up as best I could...used a bunch of Clorox wipes and a gallon of sanitizer...and hopped back in the van. It was my worst restroom experience.

Hog's Gone Fishin · 11-25-2015, 10:38 AM

If I've eatin some Jalapenos with supper then the next morning I drink coffee it hits hard. Can't hardly get from the kitchen to the bathroom without crapping my pants.

Cheater5 · 11-25-2015, 10:55 AM

When I had amoebic dysentery from eating haji food in Iraq. Hot magma out of my anus for three days, and yes- I did shit my pants on a mission because of it. Soon after I was in the aid station delirious with IV's jabbed into my cramping arms.

That straight sucked.

Saccopoo · 11-25-2015, 11:05 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cheater5

When I had amoebic dysentery from eating haji food in Iraq. Hot magma out of my anus for three days, and yes- I did shit my pants on a mission because of it. Soon after I was in the aid station delirious with IV's jabbed into my cramping arms.

That straight sucked.

Winner. (And I was about to go into my three buckets of garlic mussels and 12 pack of beer in Annapolis for lunch story, but this beats that easy.)

Lonewolf Ed · 11-25-2015, 11:15 AM

You all do not want to know the details. Ever since my cancer hit me, it has been a totally changed experience and often the thing of nightmares.

Fairplay · 11-25-2015, 11:43 AM

After I read a post by KC native or cosmo my bowels start yearning and a churning and the cramping begins to rumble and tumble.

I make a bee line for the glorious throne to deposit what I just read. I can't hold on to long I've tried a few times and like you have mercifully made it to the poop chair just in time.

I should thank them for never having constipation sometime.

Saccopoo · 11-25-2015, 11:45 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lonewolf Ed

You all do not want to know the details. Ever since my cancer hit me, it has been a totally changed experience and often the thing of nightmares.

My best friend this past two months.

11-25-2015, 09:55 AM
teedubya Most Valuable Poster Join Date: Oct 2003 Casino cash: $9480002	What's the WORST that you've had to shit? We need a good shit thread around here. I've just had my personal worst. I'm currently in Romania and I can speak very little Romanian... none of the places that I went into would let me use their toilet... I had to do the turd-turtle walk of shame for about 1.5 miles back to the hotel, with super clenched muscles, while praying to the poop God. I barely made it back to my hotel room... and I shat a good 2 pounds worth. I almost didn't make it multiple times. I had to do some lamase breathing to keep the beast within the confines of my colon. And so this was a memorable life moment, one too shitty to post on Facebook, however perfect for CP. What's the worst you had to shit? And did you make it to the toilet or nah?
Posts: 36,652

11-25-2015, 09:56 AM	#2
Dayze Resident Glue Sniffer Join Date: Nov 2003 Casino cash: $5049358	since having my gal bladder removed a few months ago, pretty much about 8 minutes after I eat anything, I need to shit NOW. so, I've got that going for me. __________________ Life is 99% inspiration, 1% Perspiration, and 1% Attention to Detial. RIP & Godspeed: Saccoppo Lonewolf Ed Fire Me Boy
Posts: 37,371

11-25-2015, 10:00 AM	#3
BigMeatballDave GBM 8-12-15 Join Date: Aug 2000 Location: Dayton, Oh. Casino cash: $10052154	Usually any time I eat Mexican, Italian, and Chili it's the worst shit ever. __________________ 2015 Adopt-a-Chief: Tamba Hali
Posts: 59,997

11-25-2015, 10:02 AM	#5
BigMeatballDave GBM 8-12-15 Join Date: Aug 2000 Location: Dayton, Oh. Casino cash: $10052154	I made some Alfredo last week and it looked like I shit out a gangbang from the night before. __________________ 2015 Adopt-a-Chief: Tamba Hali
Posts: 59,997

11-25-2015, 10:10 AM	#7
Grim Starter Join Date: Aug 2012 Casino cash: $-400000	The worst for me was when I had to take a shit while waiting for my flight in John Wayne Airport. All of the toilets had a line of people waiting to use them. I felt like I was going to shit myself while waiting in line. Finally got into the stall. The toilet seat didn't appear to have any shit on it so I dropped trousers, spun around and plopped down on the toilet. That's when I noticed how HOT and sweaty the toilet seat was. Didn't enjoy that bowel movement at all. Didn't help knowing that there was a line of people right behind me waiting to use the same toilet.... felt rushed.
Posts: 716

11-25-2015, 10:13 AM	#8
KCUnited Cheat Death Join Date: Nov 2007 Location: Land of Drincoln Casino cash: $2138244	I got some type of food poisoning at a resort in Mexico. The resort was set up where the rooms were separated from the restaurants by this long winding sidewalk through the jungle, lit up all romantical with torches. We were having dinner and without any warning it hit me. I got up from the table, left my wife sitting there, looked frantically for a bathroom, couldn't find one, so I duck walked as fast as I could down this winding path, weaving in and out of strolling couples holding hands til I got back to the room. My wife showed up 20 minutes later and I was completely naked, in a cold sweat, still sitting on the shitter like The Thinker.
Posts: 33,999

11-25-2015, 10:24 AM	#9
kepp MVP Join Date: Aug 2005 Casino cash: $5299212	Oh man...definitely during my family's last trip to Thailand to see my wife's family. It was about day 4 of eating the local food...which is awesome, but can mess with your insides. We had rented a van to go to the mountain region in the north. I started feeling the urge pretty soon after we started the trip, and it became urgent quickly. I discreetly told my wife I needed to stop at a bathroom, but as it turned out, the nearest was about 1/2 hour down the road. I was prairie-dogging the entire way. We finally get to the "rest stop" and, let me tell you, Thai rest stops are not like American rest stops on the interstates. The toilets were "squatty potties". So I squatted and exploded....all over. The locals probably thought John Rambo was in the area again with his M60. Then, to "flush", you pour a bucket of water in and hope it goes down. It didn't. I cleaned up as best I could...used a bunch of Clorox wipes and a gallon of sanitizer...and hopped back in the van. It was my worst restroom experience.
Posts: 14,496

11-25-2015, 10:38 AM	#10
Hog's Gone Fishin Fish are scared of me Join Date: Nov 2001 Casino cash: $1560477	If I've eatin some Jalapenos with supper then the next morning I drink coffee it hits hard. Can't hardly get from the kitchen to the bathroom without crapping my pants.
Posts: 40,370

11-25-2015, 10:55 AM	#11
Cheater5 Veteran Join Date: Jan 2009 Location: Folly Beach, SC Casino cash: $4967550	When I had amoebic dysentery from eating haji food in Iraq. Hot magma out of my anus for three days, and yes- I did shit my pants on a mission because of it. Soon after I was in the aid station delirious with IV's jabbed into my cramping arms. That straight sucked.
Posts: 3,072

11-25-2015, 11:15 AM	#13
Lonewolf Ed Veteran Join Date: Jun 2005 Location: Olathe, KS Casino cash: $10606233	You all do not want to know the details. Ever since my cancer hit me, it has been a totally changed experience and often the thing of nightmares.
Posts: 3,774

11-25-2015, 11:43 AM	#14
Fairplay A certain set of skills Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: texas Casino cash: $10026683 VARSITY	After I read a post by KC native or cosmo my bowels start yearning and a churning and the cramping begins to rumble and tumble. I make a bee line for the glorious throne to deposit what I just read. I can't hold on to long I've tried a few times and like you have mercifully made it to the poop chair just in time. I should thank them for never having constipation sometime.
Posts: 25,265