Home and Auto Dammit! My wife keeps stealing my dogs

Silock · 08-24-2014, 06:12 PM

Semi-short version of the story:

A few years ago, we decided to adopt our first dog. Had it a week, and I was the one walking it and spending all the time with it. But eventually, the constant coddling from my wife turned the dog toward her, and it stopped hanging out with me, even though I was still the one feeding and walking it.

Foxy Pounce by silock99, on Flickr

So, a few years later, we get a second dog so I could have a dog for myself. This dog became attached to the other dog more than any human. So, fail again.

Gracie Belle by silock99, on Flickr

We adopt a THIRD dog last year, and it takes to me immediately. It sleeps with me, follows me around the house wherever I go, you name it. It's MY dog. And it's a velcro dog. Awesome. About a month ago, it out of the blue stopped doing all of that. Now it just stays wherever my wife is in the house, sleeps wherever she is, and pretty much ignores me. FFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUU.

But, the second dog has now become MY dog, and stays with me wherever I am, follows me around and sleeps with me. Maybe it's because they're all female dogs, and bitches be crazy.

Cliff's Notes: Dogs be crazy.

Mr_Tomahawk · 08-24-2014, 06:13 PM

Because chiefs.

**Rain Man** · 08-24-2014, 06:14 PM

I recognize that this is a personal question, but does your wife smell like bacon?

**TimBone** · 08-24-2014, 06:15 PM

Need a picture of the wife before commenting.

Silock · 08-24-2014, 06:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rain Man

I recognize that this is a personal question, but does your wife smell like bacon?

She must, right? I mean, it's the only logical explanation, because I'm a goddamned peach to be around.

**RealSNR** · 08-24-2014, 06:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Flybone McTimmerson

Need a picture of the wife before commenting.

This.

Coochie liquor · 08-24-2014, 06:32 PM

Have you tried putting peanut butter on your junk to lure them away? Maybe bacon wrap your testicles??

SDChiefs · 08-24-2014, 06:36 PM

You should write a country music song.

WhawhaWhat · 08-24-2014, 06:37 PM

Kill them. That'll show her.

Skyy God · 08-24-2014, 06:37 PM

Maybe it's you.....

**DeezNutz** · 08-24-2014, 06:37 PM

The peanut butter goes on you, not the dog.

**The Franchise** · 08-24-2014, 06:51 PM

Both of our dogs are female, the oldest being my wife's dog before I showed up, and they're both attached to me.

Demonpenz · 08-24-2014, 07:36 PM

Lots of times womans vaginas are salty and sweet smelling and that draws dogs near.

**TribalElder** · 08-24-2014, 07:40 PM

You need to become the Alpha dog

be dominating

stumppy · 08-24-2014, 07:42 PM

She;s feeding them treats when you're not around.

08-24-2014, 06:12 PM
Silock MVP Join Date: Dec 2006 Location: Overland Park Casino cash: $10020882	Dammit! My wife keeps stealing my dogs Semi-short version of the story: A few years ago, we decided to adopt our first dog. Had it a week, and I was the one walking it and spending all the time with it. But eventually, the constant coddling from my wife turned the dog toward her, and it stopped hanging out with me, even though I was still the one feeding and walking it. Foxy Pounce by silock99, on Flickr So, a few years later, we get a second dog so I could have a dog for myself. This dog became attached to the other dog more than any human. So, fail again. Gracie Belle by silock99, on Flickr We adopt a THIRD dog last year, and it takes to me immediately. It sleeps with me, follows me around the house wherever I go, you name it. It's MY dog. And it's a velcro dog. Awesome. About a month ago, it out of the blue stopped doing all of that. Now it just stays wherever my wife is in the house, sleeps wherever she is, and pretty much ignores me. FFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUU. But, the second dog has now become MY dog, and stays with me wherever I am, follows me around and sleeps with me. Maybe it's because they're all female dogs, and bitches be crazy. Cliff's Notes: Dogs be crazy.
Posts: 19,908

08-24-2014, 06:13 PM	#2
Mr_Tomahawk Prestige Worldwide Join Date: Jan 2009 Location: Spring Hill, KS Casino cash: $3060526	Because chiefs. __________________ Adopt-A-Chief: John Dorsey
Posts: 18,388

08-24-2014, 06:14 PM	#3
Rain Man NFL's #1 Ermines Fan Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: My house Casino cash: $3338491 VARSITY	I recognize that this is a personal question, but does your wife smell like bacon? __________________ I'm putting random letters here as a celebration of free speech: xigrakgrah misorojeq rkemeseit.
Posts: 141,338

08-24-2014, 06:15 PM	#4
TimBone Mostly Ignored Join Date: Jul 2013 Casino cash: $8499985	Need a picture of the wife before commenting.
Posts: 18,096

08-24-2014, 06:32 PM	#7
Coochie liquor Bolton gonna knock you out Join Date: Mar 2014 Location: Free Vybz Kartel Casino cash: $2722394	Have you tried putting peanut butter on your junk to lure them away? Maybe bacon wrap your testicles??
Posts: 20,407

08-24-2014, 06:36 PM	#8
SDChiefs Veteran Join Date: Jan 2009 Location: Americas Finest City Casino cash: $8260778	You should write a country music song.
Posts: 2,320

08-24-2014, 06:37 PM	#9
WhawhaWhat MVP Join Date: Feb 2013 Casino cash: $1601116	Kill them. That'll show her.
Posts: 17,213

08-24-2014, 06:37 PM	#10
Skyy God 11-5, baby Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: Livin the dream Casino cash: $2191557	Maybe it's you.....
Posts: 22,416

08-24-2014, 06:51 PM	#12
The Franchise Most Valuable Villain Join Date: Dec 2006 Casino cash: $3125047	Both of our dogs are female, the oldest being my wife's dog before I showed up, and they're both attached to me.
Posts: 92,082

08-24-2014, 07:36 PM	#13
Demonpenz I got Rice cookin in the micro Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: Apartment "G UNIT!" Casino cash: $3142136	Lots of times womans vaginas are salty and sweet smelling and that draws dogs near. __________________
Posts: 54,271

08-24-2014, 07:40 PM	#14
TribalElder Arrowhead Trail of Tears Join Date: Oct 2012 Location: KansasCity Casino cash: $2430441	You need to become the Alpha dog be dominating
Posts: 29,138

08-24-2014, 07:42 PM	#15
stumppy New and Improved Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: Springfield, Mo. Casino cash: $1508590	She;s feeding them treats when you're not around. __________________ “As a nation, we can endure damaging policies for a four-year term. But we cannot survive a president willing to terminate our Constitution”
Posts: 21,082