Late night bullshit: help me feel something.

[Direckshun]

I thought for sure that the LeBron announcement would have elicited an emotional reaction from me. I despise the Heat and really wanted LeBron to return and win some rings for Cleveland.

Of course, LeBron has now chosen Cleveland. And I nary felt a twinge of anything. The closest thing to a dream that a multi-billion dollar corporation can generate has just occurred, and I stare on with complacency.

Which leads me to believe that I have lost the ability to feel emotions.

I've spend the past four hours slamming my dick in the drawer, in the vain hope that actually feeling physical pain would bring my emotions back.

But nothing. Now all I fear I have is an emotionless husk with a penis torn asunder.

Help me.

Make me feel something.

Anything.