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Old 09-24-2018, 02:29 PM  
luv luv is offline
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[satire] Clay Matthews Suspended By The NFL For Jimmy Garropolo Tearing His ACL
http://dailysnark.com/breaking-clay-...aring-his-acl/

GREEN BAY, WI – After going down with a serious looking knee injury Sunday against the Chiefs, an MRI has revealed the full extent of the torn ACL that will end 49ers QB Jimmy Garropolo’s 2018 season.

To take out the anger of a loss of a star quarterback in a market that needs their team to be good in order for more than a few thousand fans to show up to games, the NFL and the competition committee have laid the hammer down on Clay Matthews.

The Packers linebacker was hit with a two-game suspension by the league Monday after news broke of Garropolo’s fate.

“We can’t have guys like this being mean to our precious quarterbacks each and every Sunday,” NFL commissioner Roger Goodell said in a press release regarding the matter. “Not only has Matthews failed to gently lay each QB he sacks down to the ground, he doesn’t even apologize. This type of behavior won’t, and can’t be tolerated.”

“To send a message, Mr. Matthews has been suspended in connection with Jimmy Garropolo tearing his ACL on the other side of the country Sunday. We honestly aren’t fully sure why, but we’re just being safe. The evidence of this particular player hurting the feelings of quarterbacks around the NFL is beyond mounting.”

Matthews has been hit with a personal foul penalties in each three weeks of the NFL season.
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Old 09-24-2018, 03:29 PM   #16
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I added [satire] to the title. It's clearly a joke if you actually read it, but I certainly raised an eyebrow when I saw "Clay Matthews suspended."
I also used the Funny Stuff icon. I copied and pasted everything else as it appears at the link.
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Old 09-24-2018, 03:42 PM   #17
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This rule will not be changed. If you are going to break it, break the neck too.
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Old 09-24-2018, 03:51 PM   #18
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This rule will not be changed. If you are going to break it, break the neck too.
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Old 09-24-2018, 03:59 PM   #19
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The league has basically said that you have to arm (or at least shoulder) tackle QBs now. You can't land on them with all your weight, which means that (to be safe) you can't really land on them at all. Yes, that will likely mean that QBs break free more often.

I'm not saying I like it, but it's not really that ambiguous if you just accept the fact that they literally have outlawed a form of tackling that we all feel should be fine.

Big Ben and Cam Newton should be the biggest beneficiaries of this new rule. As if it wasn't hard enough to take them down before......
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Old 09-24-2018, 04:42 PM   #20
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Old 09-24-2018, 05:05 PM   #21
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Big Ben and Cam Newton should be the biggest beneficiaries of this new rule. As if it wasn't hard enough to take them down before......
Yea, good luck on blitzing a smaller CB if you have to arm tackle a QB, like Ben.

It sucks, but if the NFL is going to go down this road, then I think they really do need to blow the whistle as soon as a defender bear hugs the QB.
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Old 09-24-2018, 05:28 PM   #22
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Just put flags on the QB's and make it tackle for everyone else and flag football tackles on the QBs. Or maybe 2 hand touch.
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Old 09-24-2018, 08:37 PM   #23
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Yea, good luck on blitzing a smaller CB if you have to arm tackle a QB, like Ben.

It sucks, but if the NFL is going to go down this road, then I think they really do need to blow the whistle as soon as a defender bear hugs the QB.
Agreed. Bear hug should be instant dead ball in my opinion. It's the only way this could be remotely fair.
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Old 09-25-2018, 01:02 AM   #24
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Clay Matthews hugs his mom and the ref would throw a flag.
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Old 09-25-2018, 02:20 AM   #25
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Old 09-25-2018, 07:23 AM   #26
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Agreed. Bear hug should be instant dead ball in my opinion. It's the only way this could be remotely fair.
Isn't that now considered sexual assault?
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