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Old 06-23-2015, 07:49 AM  
MTG#10 MTG#10 is offline
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Have you ever been so constipated that...
...you had to help it out with your finger because you were afraid you'd pink sleeve if you pushed any harder? Asking for a friend.
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Old 06-23-2015, 02:54 PM   #31
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That's not even the worst kind of constipation. That's Defcon 5 constipation. Defcon 1 is when you're literally throwing up feces because you're so backed up.

Never happened to me. I only found that out because I was constipated for a week last summer and looking at the wiki made me paranoid.
Say what now?
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Old 06-23-2015, 02:55 PM   #32
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Originally Posted by eDave View Post
Say what now?
He's just shit talking...
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Old 06-23-2015, 02:59 PM   #33
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Old 06-23-2015, 03:06 PM   #34
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Originally Posted by Fish View Post
He's just shit talking...
Shit happens.
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Old 06-23-2015, 03:44 PM   #35
FlaChief58 FlaChief58 is offline
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Originally Posted by MTG#10 View Post
...you had to help it out with your finger because you were afraid you'd pink sleeve if you pushed any harder? Asking for a friend.
No, no I have not
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Old 06-23-2015, 03:55 PM   #36
Jim Lahey Jim Lahey is offline
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Sounds like ya just wanted to finger ya bum. Something else you'd like to confess?
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Old 06-23-2015, 03:58 PM   #37
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Originally Posted by Chromatic View Post
That's not even the worst kind of constipation. That's Defcon 5 constipation. Defcon 1 is when you're literally throwing up feces because you're so backed up.

Never happened to me. I only found that out because I was constipated for a week last summer and looking at the wiki made me paranoid.
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Old 06-23-2015, 04:19 PM   #38
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On a serious note, my brother suffered from constipation for several weeks, finally went and had a colonoscopy and had several large polyps in there. They weren't cancerous but still had to get them removed.
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Old 06-23-2015, 05:49 PM   #39
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Speaking of colonoscopy mix you up a jug of that drink to clean out your system constipation solved.
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Old 06-23-2015, 06:02 PM   #40
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Did you hear the one about the constipated mathematician?....................He worked it out with a pencil.
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Old 06-23-2015, 06:37 PM   #41
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More importantly, is a 72 hour flu accompanied by diarrhea like the gay version of being on your period?
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Old 06-24-2015, 12:15 AM   #42
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Damn, this thread had some serious funny in it.

I had surgery about 6 months ago. Didn't poop for 4 days afterward and I started to freak out. I felt awful. Got a bottle of prune juice and drank. A lot. Too much in fact. After about 5 minutes my stomach made the most god awful noises. You could hear it clear across the house. About 10 minutes after that, I exploded. By far the most bizarre and awkward 20 minutes of my life.
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Old 06-24-2015, 05:13 AM   #43
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Damn, this thread had some serious funny in it.

I had surgery about 6 months ago. Didn't poop for 4 days afterward and I started to freak out. I felt awful. Got a bottle of prune juice and drank. A lot. Too much in fact. After about 5 minutes my stomach made the most god awful noises. You could hear it clear across the house. About 10 minutes after that, I exploded. By far the most bizarre and awkward 20 minutes of my life.
But I bet you felt way better after that. I'd trade 20 minutes of discomfort to get rid of constipation any day.
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Old 06-24-2015, 05:33 PM   #44
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But I bet you felt way better after that. I'd trade 20 minutes of discomfort to get rid of constipation any day.
Oh hell yeah. I felt like a million bucks. Of course, I was also afraid to eat or drink anything for a few hours after that. I was convinced it would go straight out.
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Old 06-24-2015, 07:23 PM   #45
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