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Old 11-14-2014, 10:25 PM  
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LNBS: "Beast mode." **** you, Seattle
I realize this is my "DOLPHIN WEARING A FOOTBALL HELMET" moment because I've posted about this a couple times, but it deserves to be brought up again this week.

Seattle has a really unintelligent fan base. And I don't mean in terms of football. It's clear they're not deficient in that area. I mean in terms of intelligence and creativity. They have none of those two things.

They've got a pretty good RB who runs hard. Good for them. They want to give him a nickname. Skittles is funny. But no, they want something TOUGH-sounding. What would do the trick? Here's what they came up with:

Beast Mode.

Is that from a video game? No, that's God Mode, which is far cooler, but it wouldn't be as accessible religious people, I suppose. Or a movie or something? Is that like what the Incredible Hulk is? It's not, is it? You just thought that would be a good name for him. I get that Lynch was unstoppable in that 7-9 year where he raped the Saints. That doesn't give you an excuse come up with a shitty fan name for him and then force everybody else to use it, too.

Your stupid fan base couldn't **** that up any harder if they tried to come up with a scary name for their defense.

OH WAIT THEY DID. Legion of Boom?

Did you know that Houston Rockets fans had a name for Chandler Parsons? They called him Chandler Bang, like Chandler Bing from Friends. Why? Because, uh... Bang... he's really good at sports? Or something. Like you know... Bang! The sound you get from firing your gun in the air because Parsons just made a 3-point shot!

Legion of Boom is worse than that. It's dumber than that. It's almost as dumb as Beast Mode.

I just hired the same 8-year old that comes up with crap for your players to give Chiefs players some names. Here's what he came up with:

Alex Smith: Iron Man
Jamaal Charles: Speed Demon
Dontari Poe: Great Wall of Pain
Eric Berry: Really Really Good Football Player
The Chiefs Defense: Joint Chiefs of Boom

Go fist a cow, Seattle.
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Old 11-15-2014, 05:42 AM   #121
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Well, that will satisfy Direckshun's furry fantasies.
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Old 11-15-2014, 06:37 AM   #122
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Wasn't there a "beast mode" in the game Altered States?
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Old 11-15-2014, 06:53 AM   #123
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Andy Reid:


"Feast Mode"
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Old 11-15-2014, 07:17 AM   #124
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Yeah, that was just littered throughout a couple threads, though.

This thread here is my coming out party for Beast Mode smack


I have a stellar memory.
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Old 11-15-2014, 07:27 AM   #125
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Andy Reid:


"Feast Mode"
Obese Mode
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Old 11-15-2014, 07:28 AM   #126
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Ill take direkshuns whore mother for 1000? Or, wait it's gotta be your bull,
I got a match.

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I mean, my face and your ass.
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Old 11-15-2014, 07:41 AM   #127
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Obese Mode
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Seattle: Beast Mode
Arrowhead concessions: Yeast Mold
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Old 11-15-2014, 07:58 AM   #128
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Remember Belgian beer, eh?
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Old 11-15-2014, 07:59 AM   #129
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This thread...
Smells like...victory.
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Old 11-15-2014, 08:01 AM   #130
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Wasn't there a "beast mode" in the game Altered States?
altered beast was the games name, I believe. and beast mode was a power up in the game.


/old school video game dork.
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Old 11-15-2014, 08:01 AM   #131
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Dwayne The Scare Bowe!!

You pick whether that's referring to his lankiness or lack of brain.
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Old 11-15-2014, 08:05 AM   #132
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Dwayne The Scare Bowe!!

You pick whether that's referring to his lankiness or lack of brain.
I guess I can be a simple-minded prick at times, but I always thought "somewhere over dwayne bowe" was clever as shit.
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Old 11-15-2014, 08:31 AM   #133
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Tampa Bay's defense could be "The Joint Chiefs of Staph"

Huh huh. You know, like........Staph Infection....huh huh huh.


Beast Mode is fine. Its certainly better than ****ing "Skittles". How the **** could a dude be taken seriously with a nickname like Skittles?

Hopefully none of his carries will show why he has that nickname on Sunday.
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Old 11-15-2014, 08:37 AM   #134
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Tampa Bay's defense could be "The Joint Chiefs of Staph"

Huh huh. You know, like........Staph Infection....huh huh huh.


Beast Mode is fine. Its certainly better than ****ing "Skittles". How the **** could a dude be taken seriously with a nickname like Skittles?

Hopefully none of his carries will show why he has that nickname on Sunday.
I don't know. How did people take Walter Payton seriously with a name like "Sweetness"

Manufacturing shit like Beast Mode is why people think football players are ****ing morons.
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Old 11-15-2014, 08:41 AM   #135
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