The Legend of Swamp Ass and Other QB/Center Tales

[Amnorix]

GREAT read. You will laugh, you will learn alot, and you will be disgusted.


http://bleacherreport.com/articles/2...al-partnership

[Amnorix]

Bump. Okay, maybe it's totally lame to bump your own thread, but I'm shocked nobody has said anything (good or bad) about this. I thought the article was great.

Anyway, bump for the night guys, and then I'll let it slide off to never-never land.

[ptlyon]

Originally Posted by Amnorix

Bump. Okay, maybe it's totally lame to bump your own thread, but I'm shocked nobody has said anything (good or bad) about this. I thought the article was great.

Anyway, bump for the night guys, and then I'll let it slide off to never-never land.

I just don't feel like reading about swamp ass today, sorry.

[DaFace]

That's a lot more than I ever wanted to know about a man gently caressing another man's balls.

Adds Saturday: "I got so comfortable with Peyton that I could tell just by his hand pressure when he was expecting the ball. You start to kind of feel [that it's] about to happen."

To hear Mawae explain it, there's an art to the snap. "The center wants to feel pressure on his butt so he knows the quarterback's there," said Mawae, who actually was a quarterback in high school. "Sometimes you'll get guys who are really light-handed and I'll actually squat down, I'll sit down on their hands. And they'll start to pull out and I'll say, 'Dude, I've got to feel you. I want you to put pressure up on me.' ... I want you to feel like you're lifting my butt up off the ground.

"And then there'll be guys who are reaching all the way to the front and all you're feeling is their forearm down your butt crack, and I'd be like, 'Hey, you're too far in there, you've got to back out a little bit.' You go through that process. It sounds like junior high stuff to say, 'Hey, you're too light on my ass, you need to put more pressure on it.' But that's how we talk."

[The Franchise]

Herein lies the stuff of quarterback-center legend.

"Robbie's really sick and it's coming out both ways by the time we start the game," Dilfer said, still laughing at the memory 16 years later. "Matt starts the game, but in the first quarter, Robbie s--ts himself right on the field. It's in his pants and he can't go change. It is what it is. We're playing a football game. And if you remember, Matt used to lick his fingers like [Brett] Favre did, because Matt did everything Favre did, from when they were together in Green Bay. So Matt's licking his fingers and realizes Robbie s--t himself. So Matt panics, and now he's a mess.

"I'm dying on the sideline, and I'm telling [coach Mike] Holmgren, 'Dude, your boy is freaking out because Robbie s--t himself and can barely stand up. And Matt's got s--t on his hands and he's licking his fingers. I mean, this is not going well.'"

[SuperChief]

Very interesting. The ass-talk is very funny, because it's so true and hard for the layman to understand the intimacy and importance of that exchange (and relationship as a whole btw the C & QB). Good share!

[Hammock Parties]

[Rain Man]

I read it earlier, but was uncomfortable talking about it in public.

I find it really interesting that a center can be that sick and still be the best option. It seems like the margin of talent would be slim enough that your backup center would go if your center 'can barely stand up' and is, um, losing fluids at a prodigious pace.