Chiefs Valentinowanian Extravaganza - Page 6

**Iowanian** · 02-05-2015, 10:06 PM

I like to help so here is my special offer to each of you...

In honor of Valentine's Day and as a way to screw hallmark, I, Iowanian propose a deal with you...

If you desire and promise to follow through I offer my humble services
Post a number of facts about your significant other and I will compose a custom poem on your behalf.

Your deal is you have to hand make a card, copy the poem into the middle and use it as your only card. You also have to report back on the response of the mate. If you post your response in the form of a ms paint drawing I will reward you.

**Iowanian** · 02-13-2015, 04:05 PM

My work here is completed.

I wish each of you good luck and look forward to your reports on the success or failure of my Shell Iowanistein attempts.

Katipan · 02-13-2015, 04:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Iowanian

My work here is completed.

I wish each of you good luck and look forward to your reports on the success or failure of my Shell Iowanistein attempts.

Mine is so ****ing awesome I bet most people dry heave when they see it.

**Bwana** · 02-13-2015, 04:49 PM

Well done

**007** · 02-13-2015, 04:55 PM

late to the game again

**Iowanian** · 02-14-2015, 01:40 PM

To keep it real, this is what I put together for the lovely and talented brideowanian

Together We began the game of life
In the year of our lord, 2003
Sometimes it seems like our game board is missing pieces
I'm glad you're playing with me

We started out on Baltic avenue
In a crappy, small and low rent space
But by working hard together
Boardwalk was the goal but we live the dream now in park place

A constant battle of messes and noise
Barfing kids and things that smell funky
It's hard to tell where you end,and I begin
We live in a barrel of monkeys.

Your game of choice is probably chess
Because the queen dominates all things
But everyone knows I am a checkers man
I get to jump you because I am the king

I am glad we get to play the game
With you on my team we will not fail
Together. We collect $200, pass go ...
and hopefully stay out of jail

Msmith · 02-15-2015, 08:33 AM

"Finding poetic ways to explain how I got you
Impossible to find the adjectives and words
My math doesn't compute how I won you
The pythagorean theorem suggests Its absurd

Beauty, wisdom, strength and loving
Are the syllables my brain gears clicking
I am in awe of your strength
In your skill as a mother and cancer ass kicking!

Men search the world for women like you
Across seas, cities and wooded thickets
But when I found you
It had to be at Wonka....you're my golden ticket."

I made a card stock with a picture of plum flowers that I drew on the front cover. I pasted the three stanzas inside the card and gave it to my wife. She enjoyed the card a lot, especially the picture and the wordings of the poem, the golden ticket.

Thanks, Iowanian.

**Iowanian** · 02-16-2015, 06:28 PM

Well?

After being initially startled with the reading my home attempt was treated with a good laugh. Bonus level achieved when all of her pals saw it.

**wazu** · 02-16-2015, 07:13 PM

Made for some great fun. Long ago I used to write her things like this, so when she first saw it that's what she thought it was, but as she started reading was completely thrown.

When I explained after the fact and she read it again and got a good laugh out of it. Great night. Thanks, Iowanian!

**Iowanian** · 02-17-2015, 03:36 PM

Good show wazu

**wazu** · 02-23-2015, 08:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Iowanian

I like to help so here is my special offer to each of you...

In honor of Valentine's Day and as a way to screw hallmark, I, Iowanian propose a deal with you...

If you desire and promise to follow through I offer my humble services
Post a number of facts about your significant other and I will compose a custom poem on your behalf.

Your deal is you have to hand make a card, copy the poem into the middle and use it as your only card. You also have to report back on the response of the mate. If you post your response in the form of a ms paint drawing I will reward you.

So, am I wrong or did only 2 of the 15 or so people who Iowanian did this for follow through with their end of the bargain?

threebag · 02-23-2015, 09:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by wazu

So, am I wrong or did only 2 of the 15 or so people who Iowanian did this for follow through with their end of the bargain?

He got GoChiefed

Katipan · 02-23-2015, 09:15 PM

I told my SO his poem was from Iowanni on the internet but the card was all my design and featured a a heavy card stock that opened into 3D spread legs through which you pulled a tampon full of weed out of the vagina.

He of course fell in love all over again.

**Buzz** · 02-23-2015, 10:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Katipan

I told my SO his poem was from Iowanni on the internet but the card was all my design and featured a a heavy card stock that opened into 3D spread legs through which you pulled a tampon full of weed out of the vagina.

He of course fell in love all over again.

Freak.

eDave · 02-23-2015, 10:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Katipan

I told my SO his poem was from Iowanni on the internet but the card was all my design and featured a a heavy card stock that opened into 3D spread legs through which you pulled a tampon full of weed out of the vagina.

He of course fell in love all over again.

That's a nice touch.

**Buzz** · 02-23-2015, 10:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by eDave

That's a nice touch.

smelled like popcorn.

02-05-2015, 10:06 PM
Iowanian Supporter Join Date: Aug 2000 Location: Utopia Casino cash: $4698454	Valentinowanian Extravaganza I like to help so here is my special offer to each of you... In honor of Valentine's Day and as a way to screw hallmark, I, Iowanian propose a deal with you... If you desire and promise to follow through I offer my humble services Post a number of facts about your significant other and I will compose a custom poem on your behalf. Your deal is you have to hand make a card, copy the poem into the middle and use it as your only card. You also have to report back on the response of the mate. If you post your response in the form of a ms paint drawing I will reward you.
Posts: 61,545

02-13-2015, 04:05 PM	#76
Iowanian Supporter Join Date: Aug 2000 Location: Utopia Casino cash: $4698454	My work here is completed. I wish each of you good luck and look forward to your reports on the success or failure of my Shell Iowanistein attempts.
Posts: 61,545

02-13-2015, 04:49 PM	#78
Bwana It's Five O'Clock Somewhere Join Date: Aug 2000 Location: Billings, Montana Casino cash: $2139423647	Well done __________________ Adventure is dangerous....but monotony can kill you.
Posts: 69,764

02-13-2015, 04:55 PM	#79
007 Shaken. Not stirred. Join Date: Sep 2002 Location: London Casino cash: $14030126 VARSITY	late to the game again __________________ My dear girl, there are some things that just aren’t done. Such as, drinking Dom Perignon ’53 above the temperature of 38 degrees Fahrenheit. That’s just as bad as listening to the Beatles without earmuffs.
Posts: 65,555

02-14-2015, 01:40 PM	#80
Iowanian Supporter Join Date: Aug 2000 Location: Utopia Casino cash: $4698454	To keep it real, this is what I put together for the lovely and talented brideowanian Together We began the game of life In the year of our lord, 2003 Sometimes it seems like our game board is missing pieces I'm glad you're playing with me We started out on Baltic avenue In a crappy, small and low rent space But by working hard together Boardwalk was the goal but we live the dream now in park place A constant battle of messes and noise Barfing kids and things that smell funky It's hard to tell where you end,and I begin We live in a barrel of monkeys. Your game of choice is probably chess Because the queen dominates all things But everyone knows I am a checkers man I get to jump you because I am the king I am glad we get to play the game With you on my team we will not fail Together. We collect $200, pass go ... and hopefully stay out of jail
Posts: 61,545

02-15-2015, 08:33 AM	#81
Msmith Veteran Join Date: Jan 2004 Casino cash: $9078035	"Finding poetic ways to explain how I got you Impossible to find the adjectives and words My math doesn't compute how I won you The pythagorean theorem suggests Its absurd Beauty, wisdom, strength and loving Are the syllables my brain gears clicking I am in awe of your strength In your skill as a mother and cancer ass kicking! Men search the world for women like you Across seas, cities and wooded thickets But when I found you It had to be at Wonka....you're my golden ticket." I made a card stock with a picture of plum flowers that I drew on the front cover. I pasted the three stanzas inside the card and gave it to my wife. She enjoyed the card a lot, especially the picture and the wordings of the poem, the golden ticket. Thanks, Iowanian.
Posts: 1,999

02-16-2015, 06:28 PM	#82
Iowanian Supporter Join Date: Aug 2000 Location: Utopia Casino cash: $4698454	Well? After being initially startled with the reading my home attempt was treated with a good laugh. Bonus level achieved when all of her pals saw it.
Posts: 61,545

02-16-2015, 07:13 PM	#83
wazu ... Join Date: May 2002 Location: Kansas City, MO Casino cash: $2082295 VARSITY	Made for some great fun. Long ago I used to write her things like this, so when she first saw it that's what she thought it was, but as she started reading was completely thrown. When I explained after the fact and she read it again and got a good laugh out of it. Great night. Thanks, Iowanian! Attached Thumbnails
Posts: 27,835

02-17-2015, 03:36 PM	#84
Iowanian Supporter Join Date: Aug 2000 Location: Utopia Casino cash: $4698454	Good show wazu
Posts: 61,545

02-23-2015, 09:15 PM	#87
Katipan MER Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: Colorado Casino cash: $2680351	I told my SO his poem was from Iowanni on the internet but the card was all my design and featured a a heavy card stock that opened into 3D spread legs through which you pulled a tampon full of weed out of the vagina. He of course fell in love all over again. __________________ "Loving him is red."
Posts: 22,662