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Old 08-05-2014, 07:47 PM  
Hammock Parties Hammock Parties is offline
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My boyfriend of 4 years doesn't want to get married because of reddit
http://www.reddit.com/r/TwoXChromoso...t_want_to_get/

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For all of my life I always thought I would get married one day and have children. When I met my boyfriend I was sure that he was the guy I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. Things between us were great we moved in together after 6 months of dating and things were great. My boyfriend compared to other guys I dated had the best clean up habits, and we never argued about chores or any of that stuff.

We started making wedding plans however, every time we would set a time frame or so he would back off. I talked to my friends and family they told me to just give him space and that things will sort themselves out. I took a more hands off approach however, that didn't work either. I eventually confronted him if we are ever going to get married and he told me it will be a couple months after his younger sister's wedding.

I was ecstatic, and I started making plans on who would be my bridesmaids, where it would be, all the little details. However, when time started to roll around he told me that he is up for getting married he just doesn't want the legal trouble. He told me that he is okay with having a wedding ceremony, but we would not be getting a marriage contract.

I fought with him a lot on this, we argued and basically his fears are that he will end up like spreadsheet husband, or I would divorce him and ruin him financially. I asked him if he would accept getting a prenup, but he told me no, that those can be thrown out. He never had these fears of marriage until reddit. He has read a lot of the men's rights sections and they have convinced him that marriage is horrible.

I don't know what to do now, had I known this was his position earlier I would never have stayed with him. I don't want to be someone's girlfriend when I am 40,50. I want to have the respect of being his wife. I want to know that he will give me and our future family the commitment of marriage. As of now, my options are rather bleak.

a). Go along with his deal, have a wedding but no marriage. and hope for the best.

b). Look to try to find someone new in my 30s and get married and have kids in an extremely short and rushed time line.

c). Try to find someone, end up alone and never get to experience motherhood.

If you ladies have any tips for me please share.
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Old 08-05-2014, 08:14 PM   #16
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If I were her I would not want to marry someone who has been reading the Men's Right's Advocacy sub-reddit. That's a Stormwatch-level cesspool of the worst of humanity.
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Old 08-05-2014, 08:15 PM   #17
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Originally Posted by Guru View Post
Once they start living together for a specific amount of time they become legally married anyway.
Depends on the state.

I know the guys feeling. I have the same exact fears.
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Old 08-05-2014, 08:17 PM   #18
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Originally Posted by hometeam View Post
Depends on the state.

I know the guys feeling. I have the same exact fears.
Yep, its not like that here in Cali. They dont give a shit how long you been living together. Your only married, if your well go get married.
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Old 08-05-2014, 08:17 PM   #19
Hammock Parties Hammock Parties is offline
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Originally Posted by Reaper16 View Post
If I were her I would not want to marry someone who has been reading the Men's Right's Advocacy sub-reddit. That's a Stormwatch-level cesspool of the worst of humanity.
It's funny, though.

Plus, some guys actually do get screwed by women on divorces. Can you blame them for ranting about it?
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Old 08-05-2014, 08:20 PM   #20
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Originally Posted by Pasta Giant Meatball View Post
Taking life advice from reddit is so fail
Almost as bad as getting dating advice on a football message board
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Old 08-05-2014, 08:22 PM   #21
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Plus, some guys actually do get screwed by women on divorces. Can you blame them for ranting about it?
No, I don't blame an individual for ranting about a raw deal or a screw job. I can blame them if they, like MRAs, put that anger into a belief that society is misandrist - a place of increasingly marginalized masculinity. That is not just utter horseshit, it is dangerous in its wrongness.
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Old 08-05-2014, 08:22 PM   #22
Anyong Bluth Anyong Bluth is offline
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So she posts on what she believes was the source of her problem with him reading too much crap on reddit.

I got no sympathy. You can't force or pressure someone into marriage, and if that's a problem, then walk away and find someone who wants what you do.
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Old 08-05-2014, 08:23 PM   #23
Pasta Little Brioni Pasta Little Brioni is offline
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Originally Posted by Mojo Jojo View Post
Almost as bad as getting dating advice on a football message board
Midnight....err xzztop tis sad. We do have fun sharing stories in the dating thread though.
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Old 08-05-2014, 08:24 PM   #24
Anyong Bluth Anyong Bluth is offline
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Once they start living together for a specific amount of time they become legally married anyway.
Not every state recognizes common law marriage, and it's typically 7 years of uninterrupted cohabitation.
Most states now require both persons publicly have held out that they view themselves as "married" - essentially a meeting of the minds like in contract law, as opposed to a tolling clause based upon a time of duration.
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Old 08-05-2014, 08:29 PM   #25
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Originally Posted by Reaper16 View Post
No, I don't blame an individual for ranting about a raw deal or a screw job. I can blame them if they, like MRAs, put that anger into a belief that society is misandrist - a place of increasingly marginalized masculinity. That is not just utter horseshit, it is dangerous in its wrongness.
There's very little benefit for a man to get married in Western Civilization.
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Old 08-05-2014, 08:32 PM   #26
Hammock Parties Hammock Parties is offline
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Originally Posted by Discuss Thrower View Post
There's very little benefit for a man to get married in Western Civilization.
Yeah man it would suck if you locked down a quality woman.
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Old 08-05-2014, 08:35 PM   #27
Anyong Bluth Anyong Bluth is offline
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How did we get screwed out of the marriage dowry like in times before! ?
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Old 08-05-2014, 08:35 PM   #28
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Yeah man it would suck if you locked down a quality woman.
Discuss is prime example of why you don't take life advice from ****ing reddit
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Old 08-05-2014, 08:38 PM   #29
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Originally Posted by Reaper16 View Post
No, I don't blame an individual for ranting about a raw deal or a screw job. I can blame them if they, like MRAs, put that anger into a belief that society is misandrist - a place of increasingly marginalized masculinity. That is not just utter horseshit, it is dangerous in its wrongness.
The misandrists who masquerade as feminists are just as bad.
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Old 08-05-2014, 08:40 PM   #30
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The misandrists who masquerade as feminists are just as bad.
I know. It's also super hard being white.
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