Funny Stuff Clean jokes can be funny too! - Page 41

Frankie · 05:17 PM

Or at least good for a chuckle. Here's something completely different (for this BB). This thread is dedicated to ONLY CLEAN JOKES. Please post any clean joke that you find funny or at least amusing. We will not call you "dorks." Not in this thread. Let's see what you've got,... and share them.

Don't worry about repeat jokes. Nobody has time to check all posts.

Ultra Peanut · 04-03-2009, 03:51 PM

Hammock Parties · 04-03-2009, 03:52 PM

Your sig is mesmerizing.

unothadeal · 04-03-2009, 03:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ultra Peanut

**Mr. Flopnuts** · 04-03-2009, 04:06 PM

At the Stone Cold clip & the next dudes avy.

OH MAH GAWD!!!! OH MAH GAWD!!!! THAT PANDA HAS STRUCK A DEAL WIT DA DEBBIL!!!! THIS FIRST EVER LIVE TLC PANDA MATCH HAS BROKEN INTO PANDA-MONIUM!!!

KC_Connection · 04-03-2009, 04:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ultra Peanut

I love Stone Cold, baha.

L.A. Chieffan · 04-03-2009, 04:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ultra Peanut

stone cold is invisible?

blazzin311 · 04-03-2009, 04:11 PM

A guy with a black eye boards his plane bound for Pittsburgh and sits
down in his seat. He notices immediately that the guy next to him has
a black eye, too. He says to him, 'Hey this is a coincidence, we both
have black eyes; mind if I ask how you got yours?'

The other guy says, 'Well, it just happened. It was a tongue twister
accident. See, I was at the ticket counter and this gorgeous blonde

with the most massive breasts in the world was there. So, instead of saying,

'I'd like two tickets to Pittsburgh ,' I accidentally said,
'I' d like two pickets to Tittsburgh'; so she socked me a good one.'

The first guy replied, 'Wow! This is unbelievable.. Mine was a tongue
twister too. I was at the breakfast table and I wanted to say to my
wife, 'Please pour me a bowl of Frosties, honey.' But I accidentally
said, 'You ruined my life you evil, self-centered, fat-assed, bitch.'

blazzin311 · 04-03-2009, 04:14 PM

You may not know this. This is something you can tell to others, to show how smart you are.

Subject: MANURE

Manure: In the 16th and 17th centuries, everything had to be transported by ship and it was also before commercial fertilizer's invention, so large shipments of manure were common.

It was shipped dry, because in dry form it weighed a lot less than when wet, but once water (at sea) hit it, it not only became heavier, but the
process of fermentation began again, of which a by product is methane gas. As the stuff was stored below decks in bundles you can see what could (and did) happen.

Methane began to build up below decks and the first time someone came below at night with a lantern, BOOOOM!

Several ships were destroyed in this manner before it was determined just what was happening.

After that, the bundles of manure were always stamped with the term "Ship High In Transit" on them, which meant for the sailors to stow it high enough off the lower decks so that any water that came into the hold would not touch this volatile cargo and start the production of methane.

Thus evolved the term "S.H.I.T " , (Ship High In Transport) which has
come down through the centuries and is in use to this very day.

You probably did not know the true history of this word.
Neither did I.

I had always thought it was a golf term.

**DaFace** · 04-03-2009, 04:14 PM

What's up with the lurker suddenly posting tons of joke threads today?

**Mr. Flopnuts** · 04-03-2009, 04:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DaFace

What's up with the lurker suddenly posting tons of joke threads today?

Once he hit 4 I found myself wondering the same thing.

**Iowanian** · 04-03-2009, 04:18 PM

What gives?

Been a member 3 years...30 posts, and clusterbombing with threads today?

Got jokes? great, maybe consider a joke thread?

joesomebody · 04-03-2009, 04:18 PM

Speaking of jokes... Got this in my student email late last night... The class this was sent to has about 300 students (auditorium class.) It's a humanities class called, "Intimate Relationships and Marriage."

dear class

we recently discussed the topic of sexuality in a relationship. after learning about this i began to think. im a single freshman at mizzou and i have been looking for love. ladies i bring alot to the table and i was just wondering if anyone out there wanted to show me the ropes.

if you fit the following description please email me :blonde under 6 foot with nice you know...features and great....assests!!! thanks for helping out a fellow classmate. see you guys in class!

love you

Justin "the ninja" cole

It was followed up about 6 hours later with the following:

Class, that was not me that was a prank by one of my roommates, it was pretty funny i would have to say so myself, but sorry never the less.

**Buehler445** · 04-03-2009, 04:20 PM

You suppose it is an Alt Malboro_Chief started years ago and he's looking for an unbanned in?

Hydrae · 04-03-2009, 04:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Iowanian

What gives?

Been a member 3 years...30 posts, and clusterbombing with threads today?

Got jokes? great, maybe consider a joke thread?

Hmmm, it is even Friday...

L.A. Chieffan · 04-03-2009, 04:22 PM

thats pretty interesting tho

09-25-2005, 09:00 AM
Frankie Banned Join Date: Jul 2001 Casino cash: $10004900	Clean jokes can be funny too! Or at least good for a chuckle. Here's something completely different (for this BB). This thread is dedicated to ONLY CLEAN JOKES. Please post any clean joke that you find funny or at least amusing. We will not call you "dorks." Not in this thread. Let's see what you've got,... and share them. Don't worry about repeat jokes. Nobody has time to check all posts. Last edited by Frankie; 07-10-2011 at 05:17 PM..
Posts: 26,959

04-03-2009, 03:51 PM	#601
Ultra Peanut v^V^v^V^v^V^ Join Date: Aug 2001 Location: Holland* Casino cash: $10005177	__________________
Posts: 39,518

04-03-2009, 03:52 PM	#602
Hammock Parties I'll be back. Join Date: Nov 2002 Casino cash: $4710478	Your sig is mesmerizing. __________________ Chiefs game films
Posts: 277,902

04-03-2009, 04:11 PM	#607
blazzin311 Blazzin311 Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: Miami, FL Casino cash: $9475101	Tongue Twister A guy with a black eye boards his plane bound for Pittsburgh and sits down in his seat. He notices immediately that the guy next to him has a black eye, too. He says to him, 'Hey this is a coincidence, we both have black eyes; mind if I ask how you got yours?' The other guy says, 'Well, it just happened. It was a tongue twister accident. See, I was at the ticket counter and this gorgeous blonde with the most massive breasts in the world was there. So, instead of saying, 'I'd like two tickets to Pittsburgh ,' I accidentally said, 'I' d like two pickets to Tittsburgh'; so she socked me a good one.' The first guy replied, 'Wow! This is unbelievable.. Mine was a tongue twister too. I was at the breakfast table and I wanted to say to my wife, 'Please pour me a bowl of Frosties, honey.' But I accidentally said, 'You ruined my life you evil, self-centered, fat-assed, bitch.'
Posts: 1,429

04-03-2009, 04:14 PM	#608
blazzin311 Blazzin311 Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: Miami, FL Casino cash: $9475101	manure You may not know this. This is something you can tell to others, to show how smart you are. Subject: MANURE Manure: In the 16th and 17th centuries, everything had to be transported by ship and it was also before commercial fertilizer's invention, so large shipments of manure were common. It was shipped dry, because in dry form it weighed a lot less than when wet, but once water (at sea) hit it, it not only became heavier, but the process of fermentation began again, of which a by product is methane gas. As the stuff was stored below decks in bundles you can see what could (and did) happen. Methane began to build up below decks and the first time someone came below at night with a lantern, BOOOOM! Several ships were destroyed in this manner before it was determined just what was happening. After that, the bundles of manure were always stamped with the term "Ship High In Transit" on them, which meant for the sailors to stow it high enough off the lower decks so that any water that came into the hold would not touch this volatile cargo and start the production of methane. Thus evolved the term "S.H.I.T " , (Ship High In Transport) which has come down through the centuries and is in use to this very day. You probably did not know the true history of this word. Neither did I. I had always thought it was a golf term.
Posts: 1,429

04-03-2009, 04:14 PM	#609
DaFace Kind of a mod Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: Donkey Land Casino cash: $2026899	What's up with the lurker suddenly posting tons of joke threads today?
Posts: 51,768

04-03-2009, 04:18 PM	#611
Iowanian Supporter Join Date: Aug 2000 Location: Utopia Casino cash: $4758454	What gives? Been a member 3 years...30 posts, and clusterbombing with threads today? Got jokes? great, maybe consider a joke thread?
Posts: 61,531

04-03-2009, 04:18 PM	#612
joesomebody Waiting to be voted off Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: Baltimore, MD Casino cash: $9994900	Speaking of jokes... Got this in my student email late last night... The class this was sent to has about 300 students (auditorium class.) It's a humanities class called, "Intimate Relationships and Marriage." dear class we recently discussed the topic of sexuality in a relationship. after learning about this i began to think. im a single freshman at mizzou and i have been looking for love. ladies i bring alot to the table and i was just wondering if anyone out there wanted to show me the ropes. if you fit the following description please email me :blonde under 6 foot with nice you know...features and great....assests!!! thanks for helping out a fellow classmate. see you guys in class! love you Justin "the ninja" cole It was followed up about 6 hours later with the following: Class, that was not me that was a prank by one of my roommates, it was pretty funny i would have to say so myself, but sorry never the less.
Posts: 2,584

04-03-2009, 04:20 PM	#613
Buehler445 Supporter Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: Scott City KS Casino cash: $2314734	You suppose it is an Alt Malboro_Chief started years ago and he's looking for an unbanned in?
Posts: 56,782

04-03-2009, 04:22 PM	#615
L.A. Chieffan PLAY GOOD FOOTBALL Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: American Gardens Building Casino cash: $4058654	thats pretty interesting tho
Posts: 17,368