Eye-Oh-Wayne-E-an AMA

[Iowanian]

Today is a milestone day of sorts for me and I'm a little reflective. I've got some unexpected downtime so today is your lucky day.

Answers will reflect the questions...serious will be taken seriously, great questions will receive a thoughtful answer, and anything else will be handled accordingly.

[Iowanian]

Originally Posted by Direckshun

Have you ever engaged in a political discussion with someone that has changed the way you've looked at an issue?

Assuming you have, what was the discussion?

Assuming you haven't, what does that say about you as a person?

This isn't a cut-n-dry yes/no question.

No one has ever convinced me on some serious topics...that I won't go into, but the 'big ones' you wouldn't discuss at a holiday meal.

I deal with a lot of political items in my real life, through associations, positions I've held and current work. There are times when rational people present facts that change my opinion sometimes. I'm a reasoned thinker even if you don't want to believe it. In my real life I put my time and money where my mouth is and have for a long time. I don't give money to politicians but I'm not a person that just complains about something.

If you'd like to say anything about me as a person, I'd invite you to **** yourself in as many colorful expressions as I could conjur.

[Rasputin]

How much can a woodchuck chuck wood would Chuck Woolery chuck as much wood as a woodchuck?

[Iowanian]

Originally Posted by dlphg9

What do you do for a living?

As I can recall you seem to always give people decent ladies advice. Are you a ladies man?

I'm not comfortable sharing what I do for a living but I've used the same formula for dirty hard jobs as I have for the one I am finding success with in my career. I will say though that I have had professional dealings with more than one person who posts here. All positive on my end.


I don't know if I'm a ladies man. What I AM is happily married to a home run woman. She's prettier than I am. I'm not 6'3, I'm not a super hunk....but I'm honest, funny, hard working and swing a hammer with confidence. Like anything else if I have advice it's based on what has worked for me, or what HAS NOT worked for me in the past. People make dating too complicated.

[Iowanian]

Originally Posted by cabletech94

why is cable sooooooo much better than satellite? asking for a friend.

I'm the wrong guy to ask. I fired cable in exchange for a satellite company that doesn't appreciate my business. Once I figure out how to watch football in a way that I think works, I'll be switching to the choices these whipper snappers do with streaming services.

[Iowanian]

Originally Posted by bricks

Okay thought of a question for you.

Im in a situation where Im dating a fat woman. She is everything I could ask for in woman except she is just you know, fat. She is like one of those women that you would bang her behind closed doors where nobody is watching or could see you but then on the other hand, you don’t want to be seen with her because you feel youre going to be embarassed being with her because she is just soo fat that others may think, “yo that dude could do better you know?”

So it is an insecurity issue here. But honestly, I kinda want to be with her because she is just so awesome on the inside. Her personality is a 10/10. I know she is wife material, I know that one day she will be a beautiful mom and best of all she is capable of being that best friend. I do like her but Its just don’t want to be seen woth her. So what to do? How do I handle this?

I'll answer this question differently than I would have 20 years ago. Who cares what someone else thinks? The one thing you'll find out that being happy at home trumps anything else. If you like her, you OWE her more respect than to be "ashamed" of her. If SHE has issues with her body, then you OWE it to her to be supportive and nice and make her feel confident. If it's the only issue, my suggestion is to say "hey, I've been letting myself go a little bit and I'll do better if I have a battle buddy to keep me motivated on days I don't want to go" and then take her for walks-hikes-bike rides or the gym.

That's the best part of getting to the age I am, where I care a lot less what insignificant people think. Friends come and go and a real friend would only want you to be happy anyway. Some of my favorite people in the world are heavier than they'd like to be.

Brideowanian works out all the time and runs races and stuff and I hate the gym and my knees are too shitty to think running is a good idea. I kind of hope she likes fat dudes because I'm not sure how long I'm holding this studly package together in it's current form.

**bonus feature. In HS I had a ball cap that said "no fat chics" but I was a complete fraud on that statement.

[Pennywise]

Originally Posted by Iowanian

I'm not comfortable sharing what I do for a living but I've used the same formula for dirty hand jobs as I have for the one I am finding success with in my career.

So you outsource then? If not, I'd think speed and power would be key.

[Graystoke]

I know you love Iowa.
What State is your Second Choice to live in.
And am I correct that Iowa is your fist choice State?

[RealSNR]

Ever been to Nordic Fest in Decorah? Highly recommend it if not.

[Iowanian]

Originally Posted by Graystoke

I know you love Iowa.
What State is your Second Choice to live in.
And am I correct that Iowa is your fist choice State?

I like this question. I do live in Iowa because I choose to. I choose to for family reasons and the way of life. I've had many opportunities to go other places and have lived in other states including Colorado.

I guess my second state would depend on why I was moving and what age. Honestly I doubt I'll every leave Iowa and they'll shoot my ashes out of a potato gun over some field or pond someday. That said, I can see a day where I live somewhere else part of the year(cold). I did like Colorado when I was there and did some interesting things, but the thing I didn't like was some of the personalities I encountered. I could also see me in Arizona and in another life I could have been perfectly happy living the wild man's life in Alaska.

So....Colorado, Arizona, Alaska and though I've never been to Montana-Idaho area I think I could do just fine up there too.

It's not where you are, it's who you're with for me.

[Iowanian]

Originally Posted by RealSNR

Ever been to Nordic Fest in Decorah? Highly recommend it if not.

I have not, however I have worked in that area a few times and do like it. Northeast Iowa has a lot of interesting things to see and do.

Also of note, I have stayed in a hotel that Rainman played a role in it's existence.

[RealSNR]

Originally Posted by Iowanian

I have not, however I have worked in that area a few times and do like it. Northeast Iowa has a lot of interesting things to see and do.

Also of note, I have stayed in a hotel that Rainman played a role in it's existence.

Hotel Winneshiek. Rain Man showed me some local Decorah news thing about its opening, and the lady who invested her money in the restoration talked about how the consultant told her it would be a bad investment. I'm going to guess that was him.

[Buehler445]

Originally Posted by Iowanian

This will be the toughest question for me to answer, not because of not knowing but because I've spent too many late nights thinking about it.

In some ways, I wish I had a bucket full of mulligans I could use but I have always wondered if the things I would change had a purpose. Is there a reason the things I'd do over happened that have resulted in the person I am and the life I have today, and in most cases the answer is yes.

One thing I'd do that probably would have improved my life but not changed it...I wouldn't have cut as much weight in High School wrestling. I think it played a major factor in a health issue I've had since I was 17. I fight a lot of stomach issues today that started with barfing before the finals of a tournament and still exist today.

My biggest concern with the real answers are that they aren't pleasant. I'm providing three answers to this, one had a positive result, one is yet to be determined and the last I'm unable to find a reasoning. So...for the purposes of this answer, my assumption is I KNOW the result of an event and can change it.

1. When I was 17 we had a farm accident where a cow went wild and stomped my mom up pretty bad, I was maybe 20' away when it happened and by the time I got to her she was hurt badly, and the cow turned on me and I ended up with some broken stuff and a hospital stay. Given a mulligan, I would be able to prevent those events and save my mother a badly broken leg and some pretty cool head scars. The one reason I wouldn't is because that event really put life into clarity for my folks and myself. I was kind of an asshole 17 year old at the time, and I've never disrespected my parents in any way since that day...so in a way, a lot of good came out of it. They relaxed a lot and seem to enjoy their lives more since that day.

2. When my son was 3 I was at a small gathering with friends on the 4th of july. We had a bon fire in a fire ring, were sitting around just having a couple of beers(literally 1-2) and were going to watch a friend shoot off some fire works. I was closer than 10' away, but my son was shaking his butt at the fire(because he was wet from a cooler splashing on him) and tripped on the ring fell flat on his back into the fire. I pulled him out pretty fast and dunked him in a pond, but given a mulligan I'd stop that event 100 times out of 100. He's ok today, just has some scars. He's tougher than boiled owl shit. Maybe this event changed something that I don't know, maybe it helped define something for my kid, maybe it helped me re-prioritize my work-family dynamic because I was working too much...Don't know but I know I'd react a minute faster knowing what I know. Please get rid of those metal fire rings. Build something safer with landscaping blocks a couple wide with some rock in the middle.

3. I'm going to just post this even though I don't want to...., and I've mentioned/deleted it when I was drunk a couple of times. Last summer I was outside with my kids one evening and heard yelling at a neighboring farm. Without going into graphic detail, I jumped in my truck and drove 1/2 mile thinking I was going to stop a domestic assault for some neighbors I didn't know....It wasn't. When I got there a couple of other close relatives had also arrived and were starting CPR on a child that had drowned in a pool. I worked on the child for quite a while and it did not have a happy ending. A lot more to it, but I'm not sure if my mulligan would work, but If I had a mulligan I'd probably go 1-2 minutes faster than I did and hope it made a difference...but I'm not sure it would. I'd go half an hour earlier and shake the parents into paying attention if that was in the rules.... I'm still trying to figure out the lesson on this one because it's a shit sandwich. The majority of the people who know me personally don't know this story.....Still shouldn't share it but I'm going to for this reason. I have guilt and I have a personal need to 'right the wrong'.

I started donating blood because this event has to have some positive result for my own sanity. I'm sharing that story to encourage you to become CPR certified if you're not, and if you have kids that are new parents encourage THEM to do it. Maybe the reason that happened and my instinct to respond was so that someone here will read this, get certified and save someone. It doesn't always work and I can't describe how much is sucks when it doesn't, but I've been there when people didn't know what to do.....So. If you're reading this, help me right a wrong in my life and do something positive in the name of a child you don't know. It would take you half an hour to donate blood and help someone. It brought me back to my old support of 37forever. Also important....send those kids to swim lessons as soon as you can get them in. If you can't afford it, call me.

I'll never answer a tougher question.

That’s a hell of an answer. All the best to you.

[Direckshun]

Originally Posted by Iowanian

I deal with a lot of political items in my real life, through associations, positions I've held and current work. There are times when rational people present facts that change my opinion sometimes.

Assuming you have, what was the discussion?

Go Chiefs.

[Iowanian]

Originally Posted by Direckshun

Go Chiefs.

My instinct answer is "i'm not talking politics with you, ****ball".....


But in light of the AMA. My views have significantly changed related to Marijuana and particularly medical mj. Some of those discussions and facts were due to conversations here some were in my personal life. I've migrated from against it(dirty dope smoking hippies) to indifferent(do what you want if it's your thing) to borderline supportive of full legalization.(medical absolutely)...even though I've never used it.

[Rasputin]

Do you think you could survive "Naked and Afraid in New York City" with a naked female partner?