Eye-Oh-Wayne-E-an AMA

[Iowanian]

Today is a milestone day of sorts for me and I'm a little reflective. I've got some unexpected downtime so today is your lucky day.

Answers will reflect the questions...serious will be taken seriously, great questions will receive a thoughtful answer, and anything else will be handled accordingly.

[Iowanian]

Originally Posted by BryanBusby

If Angelina Jolie said she would have sexual relations with you if you let her insert fingers into your ass, would you let her? What would be the cap for fingers at once?

Truth, I have no interest in plastic women. I'll take the girl next door over a plastic face, bolt on hooter-trimmed lip cooter-American any day.

She just doesn't do it for me. Maybe it's because in High School I kissed a girl that had bit lips like hers, and they were cold, dry and cracked and a total turnoff.

I'll never receive a finger that isn't attached to a medical professional for a highly necessary reason.

[Simply Red]

Originally Posted by Iowanian

I don't recall a "rough start" with you unless it was under a different username, but it could be like the school yard bully that people hate and he doesn't remember being a dick to them.

I think you're a very sincere guy, I'm guessing a good human being/neighbor but you're one odd duck. You seem nice.


As to Spencer Ware....I'm pretty excited about his return to the lineup this year. He offers power running that the Chiefs have missed, and his ability to take carries to keep Hunt fresh will be huge in the 4th quarter. Both of these guys with fresh legs and the ability to catch the ball are exciting. I also think he'll offer an upgrade in pass protection.


Of the 3 posters you listed, I'd be happy to see any of them return for different reasons. Gaz was a gentleman who had a quirky sense of humor and some football knowledge, Endelt was funny and you never knew what he was going to do...its' unfortunate he lost the planet in the divorce. Mr Blonde was very interesting, but most of his legend is probably due to the way he left. Give me a coin toss on Endelt and Gaz but I'm probably secretly hoping it's endelt because of the humor.

Sounds great! Thanks for the response!

[Buehler445]

Originally Posted by Iowanian

Not a big deal, just one of those Milestone birthdays that has me reflective. I'm closer to death than birth for sure.

HBD boss

[Direckshun]

Have you ever engaged in a political discussion with someone that has changed the way you've looked at an issue?

Assuming you have, what was the discussion?

Assuming you haven't, what does that say about you as a person?

[Simply Red]

Spoiler!

[dlphg9]

What do you do for a living?

As I can recall you seem to always give people decent ladies advice. Are you a ladies man?

[cabletech94]

why is cable sooooooo much better than satellite? asking for a friend.

[bricks]

Okay thought of a question for you.

Im in a situation where Im dating a fat woman. She is everything I could ask for in woman except she is just you know, fat. She is like one of those women that you would bang her behind closed doors where nobody is watching or could see you but then on the other hand, you don’t want to be seen with her because you feel youre going to be embarassed being with her because she is just soo fat that others may think, “yo that dude could do better you know?”

So it is an insecurity issue here. But honestly, I kinda want to be with her because she is just so awesome on the inside. Her personality is a 10/10. I know she is wife material, I know that one day she will be a beautiful mom and best of all she is capable of being that best friend. I do like her but Its just don’t want to be seen woth her. So what to do? How do I handle this?

[dlphg9]

Originally Posted by bricks

Okay thought of a question for you.

Im in a situation where Im dating a fat woman. She is everything I could ask for in woman except she is just you know, fat. She is like one of those women that you would bang her behind closed doors where nobody is watching or could see you but then on the other hand, you don’t want to be seen with her because you feel youre going to be embarassed being with her because she is just soo fat that others may think, “yo that dude could do better you know?”

So it is an insecurity issue here. But honestly, I kinda want to be with her because she is just so awesome on the inside. Her personality is a 10/10. I know she is wife material, I know that one day she will be a beautiful mom and best of all she is capable of being that best friend. I do like her but Its just don’t want to be seen woth her. So what to do? How do I handle this?

How fat is she? Is she tall? Big tits?

[bricks]

Originally Posted by dlphg9

How fat is she? Is she tall? Big tits?

She’s about a running backs size. I’d say 225. She is about my height, 5’10”

Double D’s bro

[Red Beans]

Originally Posted by BryanBusby

If Angelina Jolie said she would have sexual relations with you if you let her insert fingers into your ass, would you let her? What would be the cap for fingers at once?

As long as she's gentle, the sky's the limit.

[eDave]

Originally Posted by bricks

She’s about a running backs size. I’d say 225. She is about my height, 5’10”

Double D’s bro

**** what anyone thinks. You know?

[Simply Red]

Iowanian - WTF is wrong with people?

[dlphg9]

Originally Posted by bricks

She’s about a running backs size. I’d say 225. She is about my height, 5’10”

Double D’s bro

Keep on keepin on bruh

[Iowanian]

Originally Posted by Buehler445

If you could grab a mulligan on any specific moment in your life what would it be?

This will be the toughest question for me to answer, not because of not knowing but because I've spent too many late nights thinking about it.

In some ways, I wish I had a bucket full of mulligans I could use but I have always wondered if the things I would change had a purpose. Is there a reason the things I'd do over happened that have resulted in the person I am and the life I have today, and in most cases the answer is yes.

One thing I'd do that probably would have improved my life but not changed it...I wouldn't have cut as much weight in High School wrestling. I think it played a major factor in a health issue I've had since I was 17. I fight a lot of stomach issues today that started with barfing before the finals of a tournament and still exist today.

My biggest concern with the real answers are that they aren't pleasant. I'm providing three answers to this, one had a positive result, one is yet to be determined and the last I'm unable to find a reasoning. So...for the purposes of this answer, my assumption is I KNOW the result of an event and can change it.

1. When I was 17 we had a farm accident where a cow went wild and stomped my mom up pretty bad, I was maybe 20' away when it happened and by the time I got to her she was hurt badly, and the cow turned on me and I ended up with some broken stuff and a hospital stay. Given a mulligan, I would be able to prevent those events and save my mother a badly broken leg and some pretty cool head scars. The one reason I wouldn't is because that event really put life into clarity for my folks and myself. I was kind of an asshole 17 year old at the time, and I've never disrespected my parents in any way since that day...so in a way, a lot of good came out of it. They relaxed a lot and seem to enjoy their lives more since that day.

2. When my son was 3 I was at a small gathering with friends on the 4th of july. We had a bon fire in a fire ring, were sitting around just having a couple of beers(literally 1-2) and were going to watch a friend shoot off some fire works. I was closer than 10' away, but my son was shaking his butt at the fire(because he was wet from a cooler splashing on him) and tripped on the ring fell flat on his back into the fire. I pulled him out pretty fast and dunked him in a pond, but given a mulligan I'd stop that event 100 times out of 100. He's ok today, just has some scars. He's tougher than boiled owl shit. Maybe this event changed something that I don't know, maybe it helped define something for my kid, maybe it helped me re-prioritize my work-family dynamic because I was working too much...Don't know but I know I'd react a minute faster knowing what I know. Please get rid of those metal fire rings. Build something safer with landscaping blocks a couple wide with some rock in the middle.

3. I'm going to just post this even though I don't want to...., and I've mentioned/deleted it when I was drunk a couple of times. Last summer I was outside with my kids one evening and heard yelling at a neighboring farm. Without going into graphic detail, I jumped in my truck and drove 1/2 mile thinking I was going to stop a domestic assault for some neighbors I didn't know....It wasn't. When I got there a couple of other close relatives had also arrived and were starting CPR on a child that had drowned in a pool. I worked on the child for quite a while and it did not have a happy ending. A lot more to it, but I'm not sure if my mulligan would work, but If I had a mulligan I'd probably go 1-2 minutes faster than I did and hope it made a difference...but I'm not sure it would. I'd go half an hour earlier and shake the parents into paying attention if that was in the rules.... I'm still trying to figure out the lesson on this one because it's a shit sandwich. The majority of the people who know me personally don't know this story.....Still shouldn't share it but I'm going to for this reason. I have guilt and I have a personal need to 'right the wrong'.

I started donating blood because this event has to have some positive result for my own sanity. I'm sharing that story to encourage you to become CPR certified if you're not, and if you have kids that are new parents encourage THEM to do it. Maybe the reason that happened and my instinct to respond was so that someone here will read this, get certified and save someone. It doesn't always work and I can't describe how much is sucks when it doesn't, but I've been there when people didn't know what to do.....So. If you're reading this, help me right a wrong in my life and do something positive in the name of a child you don't know. It would take you half an hour to donate blood and help someone. It brought me back to my old support of 37forever. Also important....send those kids to swim lessons as soon as you can get them in. If you can't afford it, call me.

I'll never answer a tougher question.